Calm in the Chaos
With so much chaos around us, I was inspired to create a guided imagery about cultivating peace within the center. Much love everyone!
Cycle Pray Sing
There is a sacred place I visit. It’s close to my home and calls me to come visit the Ancestors and the guardians of the land of the Principal People, the Anigiduwagi or People from Kituwah. When I visit, I walk or cycle and greet the Ancestors as I begin. Then I listen. Or pray. Or sing.
Because it’s so close, I can visit before my work day begins and did so earlier this week. I was thinking about my brother and his struggle to recover from a viral infection after having open heart surgery. So after making the connection with the Ancient Ones, I started pedaling and praying and asked for a sign for him. Then I started singing.
I had gone a little over a mile when I came around a corner and saw a massive bull elk standing in the gravel road. He heard my song and turned to look at me. I stopped my bike and thanked him for his strength and beauty, took a few photos and turned around to leave him to his morning.
As I completed the 10 miles of cycling, I thought of my brother, sang for him and prayed for him and thought of the elk that appeared and then, later in the ride, had disappeared as I returned to that section of the road. In Native American cultures, the elk often symbolizes strength, power, and endurance. In many cultures it is seen as a symbol of protection. These are all qualities that my brother needs as he recovers his health.
Every time I visit this sacred place, there is a blessing given as I approach with gratitude, respect, and gentleness. As we walk through life, if we offer the qualities to all places, animals, and people, I imagine the world will show us many blessings and we will be lifted to a new place of living. On that particular day, I thanked the elk for reminding me of the qualities my brother has and has around him as he works to recover his own strength and endurance.
Solstice Morning
Waterfalls, creeks, and the beauty of Great Smoky Mountains National Park.
The Gift of a Dying Mouse
Three days ago, my hound dog Vern started barking his alert bark. That particular bark can mean a dinosaur is attacking, an eagle is in a tree chasing a squirrel (that actually happened), a box turtle is crossing the driveway (that also happened), or something really, really bad is about to happen. I went out twice to look in the direction he was barking. No turtle, eagle, dinosaur, or possum (a regular visitor to our yard).
Finally, my frustration at his incessant barking caused me to take the search outside the gate. I followed Vern’s gaze and saw a deer mouse pup that was struggling. It was fully furred but its eyes were not quite open, so it was probably just under two weeks of age.
I picked it up and examined it. There were no marks on it, it wasn’t bleeding, and it looked healthy except it clearly was not healthy as it couldn’t move well. It actually appeared to have neurological damage in the way it was moving. I held it to keep it warm and it perked up a bit. We walked around the edge of the driveway, me calling for mama mouse and looking for potential nest sites. After having no luck, I got a plastic container and cut a hole in the bottom, put a small, shallow water container in it and a little cloth and placed it there, under the carport, hoping the mother would locate it and take her babe.
After a couple hours I went to check on it and it had crawled out of the container and a large ant was biting its tail. NO WAY would I allow it to suffer like that. So, I brought it inside to my bathroom/bathtub and created a little deer mouse pup habitat where it resided for the past three days.
I knew the mouse was dying when I found it, otherwise I would have taken it to a wildlife rehab facility. I wanted to show it love and care for however long it needed to make the journey to the other side.
I kept it warm, offered tiny seeds, put out a shallow container of water, mixed a paste of ground almonds and water to leave for it. I tried not to handle it, but it loved curling up in my palm as I did Reiki on it.
Several times I’d check on little Bobbi and think she was dead. I would pick her up and she would move around and snuggle into my hand or climb around on it. I’d gently place her back into her mouse house and leave her to her journey; however, I was frustrated that she might be suffering, even though she appeared to sleep whenever I left her. Late this afternoon I brought her a beautiful yellow flower from the garden and laid it with her. And finally, a few hours later I checked on her and she had passed.
It broke me open. And I needed to be broken open. I’ve been so saddened by the toxic behaviors of so many and I’ve found myself feeling depressed. Bobbi, the deer mouse pup, helped cultivate compassion and kindness within me, and through her three day and night dying process, helped remind me that there is still gentleness in me and in a world that can appear so full of hatred and meanness.
Now, more than ever, it’s important for us to find the depth of love within ourselves so we can reflect it out into the world. Little Bobbi instructed me on how to do this as she made her way to the spirit world. Our little woodland in the Smoky Mountains had a lot more light shining and going out into the world this weekend due to our work together.
Breaking Free
A primeval-feeling forest of red spruce and Fraser fir trees lined the trail. I had just turned off the Appalachian Trail onto a less traveled trail and was enjoying solitude. A few minutes prior I had put out a request to the Universe to help me learn how to regain emotional sovereignty during these times of intense turmoil in the world. I asked to be shown a key to understanding how to regain my joy amidst the insanity of the times.
I hadn’t gone but maybe a quarter mile up the trail when I saw a beautiful owl feather laying perfectly positioned beside the trail. As I touched it, I heard… ‘so you can fly without noise.’ I always think of the ability to see in the dark as being owl’s greatest gift, but noiseless flight was what Owl presented.
I recalled a large owl flying within a few feet of me and not making one sound…not a whoosh, or swish….totally silent flight. Decades have passed and I still vividly remember that experience.
As I continued up the trail, I pondered the answer that Owl brought to me. Two miles I walked, down 1000 feet of elevation and back up 1000 feet of elevation, allowing my mind to piece together the answer to my question….how can I gain emotional sovereignty during these trying times.
I thought of the quality of owl feathers, their softness and velvety texture. I also thought of using inner vision to fly within myself to see in the dark, but with gentleness and softness…like owl feathers…. not a wrecking ball of clearing uncomfortable emotions. As I imagined the gentle, soundless flight into myself, a surge of emotion arose within me and tears came. Along with the clarity I had asked for in my earlier request.
I’m only a victim as long as I am willing to allow the chaos of the world to make its way into me and ‘plug’ into me. Victimization happens when we allow what’s happening around us to determine how we feel, think, and act. Freedom comes from unplugging from the chaos outside ourself, to regain a sense of personal power.
It isn’t only claiming sovereignty—personal power—over my emotional triggers. It’s also about having agency…knowing that I have the capacity to act independently and to exercise free will. And therein lies the key to freedom from victimization.
I have a choice in how much I allow what’s happening outside of me to influence what’s happening within me. One way of looking at this is like a loving and strong inner guardian setting boundaries that keeps harmful bullies from hurting me. This guardian doesn’t block everything from touching me, only the hate, the meanness and everything that goes with those intentions.
After retracing my steps, I turned back onto the Appalachian Trail and within a few minutes saw a beautiful doe grazing on ferns, just off the trail. She looked up at me as I paused. Deer brings gentleness into our lives. She was a reminder to be gentle with myself, to be soft in my inner explorations, and to know that I have choice. I can choose to be free.
And a closing thought….colonizers, dictators, and authoritarians try to take away sovereignty by limiting rights and freedoms, and they try to take away agency as well. They don’t want the people they are trying to control to think they have the ability to act independently and exercise free will. We will do well to remember that nobody can take away our power over ourselves and our ability to think, feel, and act independently of anyone’s approval. We always have choice with our inner freedoms.