While cycling yesterday I put my iPod on shuffle of all songs on it. I do that sometimes as a way to let the Universe choose my inspiration for the ride. David Wilcox’s song, Let It Go, really touched me…
“I watched it sinking down…the treasure I’d almost found is gone…I had been holding on so long I had to let it go….I wagered my heart and soul, all of that weight in gold and dreams….the woman I thought I should be, I had to let it go….High above the broken opening I see the light of love is spoken, welcoming me…Now that I remember how this love can be, full of my surrender emptying….Into the deep blue sky when it’s my time to fly away I can release this weight, now I can let it go, now I can let it go….all of this love I’ve saved, I get to let it go.”
This seems so appropriate for the place in which I find myself. Letting go of the woman that I thought I should be. Who was she?
That question is so wrapped in expectations…of family, culture, institutions…my interpretation of what was expected and what I expected of myself.
The past 18 months have been a deep journey into all of these expectations and as I begin to move from this long threshold moment in this life, I gain perspective of what has been happening.
Today I listened to an interview with a guy who does some truly inspired work and he said he had gone through two major awakenings in his life. One led to his first spiritual opening where he moved more into alignment with his path and was very happy doing the work but eventually he began to feel called to deeper work and wasn’t sure what was happening. He related that his intuition, his guidance that he had grown to trust, disappeared and he felt as if he was stumbling in the dark. It went on for a few years until finally he came through that long period with guidance that was specific about the next phase of his work. He had no idea how it would work out but he listened and the result is simply amazing.
This resonated so deeply with me as I have been very happy in the work I’ve done over the past decade or so. Photographing underwater wildlife, writing about the connection with Nature and sharing with others has been amazing but my guidance is taking me to different work. And no matter how much I question and wrestle with the direction, in the end I completely trust it.
For many, many years–even when I lived in the mountains years ago– I have heard guidance to go outside each day and connect with Nature. I didn’t know what that meant…not really. I meditate and do yoga and even when I cycle I’m tuning into Nature. What exactly was this guidance telling me?
Over the past few months, as I have started to come out of the threshold and begin the first tentative steps to the other side of this transitional period, the meaning has become clearer. There’s a different level of opening that occurs when we take our wholeness into Nature and sit simply with the intention to connect.
For example, if I (personality self) connect with my soul self (higher self) and allow that soul self to expand into its proper ‘size’ I notice an inseparable connection and flow with Nature….complete Oneness. Nature and this expression of life known as Simone exists in the state of Oneness with all life….trees, insects, bats, dogs, cats, grass, stars, you, the homeless woman, the wounded child, the cow in the pasture.
That experience helps me deal with the insanity happening all around the planet. Nature is teaching me how to be balanced while it seems everything in the world is falling apart. And this is key to being present with this mess and not going crazy. It seems the answer lies in realizing Oneness.
I believe the solution to the problems of the planet begins within each of us. And it seems that recognizing Oneness and experiencing it is the first step. Perhaps our only task is to stand in conscious awareness of Oneness with Nature and all life. What if we all did that? There would be no war, no hate, no pollution or destruction of our planet, no fighting…imagine.
I’m not suggesting that we stop everything we are doing to help make a difference and just meditate (well, not really) but I am suggesting we take a few steps back and clean up our own emotional, spiritual, mental and physical selves and find our own experience of Oneness so that the actions we take come from an egoless intention. Sometimes the rhetoric of the ‘good folks’ is as scary as that of those committing the atrocities.
My work is unfolding from this shift in focus, this beautiful place of connection. The animals I have worked with through my photography and travels are encouraging me, from inner guidance, to take the work deeper and share what I’ve learned from them with others. The first stage of this is through a course of study called Deepening with Nature. It’s a thirteen lesson self-study course in which animals guide participants through 28 days each lesson with exercises and meditations to deepen the relationship with Nature and thus the self. Each lesson is guided by a wisdom keeper animal spirit. It begins with a Humpback Whale. Lesson two is a Wolf…three is a Dolphin and four a Bear….and so on.
The other way the work is unfolding is to consult with individuals wishing to gain insight on their current life path. I do this through intuitive consultations via phone or in person. This is unfolding quite beautifully. The synergy that occurs expands the process of healing and wholeness.
I’ve had to let go of the direction I thought life would unfold and allow it to organically blossom into a deeper expression of my heart’s profound love of this planet. Years ago I made the commitment to be a bridge between humans and nature and envisioned it would be through me connecting with Nature and then sharing photographs, videos and writing and that would be it. Now I see the depth of the work I am called to and it’s quite humbling. I’m being asked to go much deeper in helping people connect to Nature, not just from a superficial level but to the real core of it all.
All the energy invested in the previous direction, all the love for what I was doing, I can release and allow it to guide me deeper…and help guide others deeper into relationship with Nature, with themselves.
When we open our hands and hearts and let go, we can once again receive.