Category: conscious change

My Life is a River

My Life is a River

Over a week ago coastal Alabama had 8 inches of rain in a short period of time. This created a great amount of water than ran into our creeks and rivers. The Magnolia River, where I live, was no exception.

Beach across the river
Beach across the river

After the high water subsided I wheeled my SUP board down to the little beach near the headwaters of the river and noticed quite a change. Brilliant white sand had built up on the beach across the river and on our little beach.

This might not seem like such a big deal but since Hurricane Isaac last summer, high tides from the storm had deposited large amounts of very dark, sticky mud on the beach so every step left feet or sandals caked with mud. It stained feet, gummed up flip-flops and was a nasty mess. That’s the thing about this tidal river–it is affected by whatever is pushed into Week’s Bay or Mobile Bay.

The beach where I put in used to be a muddy mess...now white sand graces the shore
The beach where I put in used to be a muddy mess…now white sand graces the shore

It was exciting to see that the old snag by the rocks had been flushed away. There had been too many close calls with that bit of debris and my SUP board narrowly escaped slices and gouges from the old, dead wood laying just beneath the surface.

Taking a moment to contemplate life
Taking a moment to contemplate life

As I paddled along today I thought how my life is like this river. There has been a lot of dark, sticky yuck that has lurked just beneath the surface for many years. Finally, a series of events brought these unpleasant, dysfunctional behaviors to my attention and I’ve been working to clear them.

A big gully-washer of tears from grief and sadness over what I have lost throughout my life flushed out of my unconscious in bits and pieces. The darkness was loosened and freed and the beautiful light within was brought up. I call it love…unconditional love. Like the white sand on the beaches, new ground has formed for my life. The old inner snags that hooked me have been flushed away and I’m left with clarity and peace.

Clowning around for the camera
Clowning around for the camera in Crystal River, Florida

There will continue to be tides that bring change and heavy rains that clear away the old but one thing is certain to me–my life is a river of love and light. I finally understand that. And so is yours. And someday, maybe we can have ‘inner rivers’ that are crystal clear and filled constantly from the Source of Life.

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Awakening from the Dream

Awakening from the Dream

View from Blue Ridge Parkway near Cherokee, NC
View from Blue Ridge Parkway near Cherokee, NC

It was a dark and cloudy night. I was riding my bicycle in the mountains and had followed a friend to a turning point. After he made it to his driveway, I turned to go but mistakenly took a wrong turn and ended up behind a fence and at the bottom of a very steep, winding road. I knew the road would take me home but the danger involved was too great in the darkness.

So I turned around and headed back beside the fence to the main road. But along the way saw huge, fresh bear tracks or scratches where a bear had claimed his territory. I got very frightened and as I pedaled faster, I passed a large, dark shape. I became even more frightened. Then something started chasing me and as I glanced down I saw it was a large coyote. I pedaled faster. Another large coyote appeared and both were attempting to drag me off my bicycle. I tried kicking them and launched my cat off the bed. He wasn’t impressed.

Coyote
Coyote

My legs actually ached and I was so shaken that I sat up and wrote notes on the dream and attempted to decipher it. What the heck had I eaten for dinner? 

When I went back to sleep I dreamed I helped people speak to large gatherings. In fact, I even helped Bill Moyers speak to a group of students. His chair, for the gathering, was beautifully colored in white with red and purple flowers.

Maybe the answer to my nightmare came in my final dream of the night–Bill Moyers. He worked with Joseph Campbell in a series entitled The Power of Myth. As I started researching on the internet I found an interview Moyers did with Campbell on the journey of the Hero archetype. Within this 51 minute recording I found answers.

Entrance to underwater cave in Akumal, Mexico
Entrance to underwater cave in Akumal, Mexico

Campbell  spoke of this journey we undertake–that of slaying the ego–to find our true nature. In this journey there must be courage as we face our darkest, deepest fears. The journey includes a theme of death and resurrection…a dying to a part of us that no longer serves us and being born into a greater version of ourselves.

The journey always begins by going into darkness, our unconscious.This triggered an experience I had in meditation last week where I journeyed into dark water, through a vortex and ended up connecting with a huge whale. Campbell spoke of the whale as being a symbol where all that is unconscious within us is held. He says the unconscious is the edge or interface between what can be known and what can never be discovered. We must learn to live life with knowledge of its Mystery and our own Mystery.

Pre-dawn Gulf of Mexico
Pre-dawn Gulf of Mexico

Life is an adventure of being alive. We journey into our own unknown in order to slay the ego so that we can follow the soul’s path. He said the journey to save the self actually saves the world. We bring the world to life by bringing life to the self.

“Follow your bliss,” he reminded as I listened intently. The ego tells us why we can’t follow our bliss, the path of the soul. It’s what keeps us small. The adventure of the Hero is having the courage to do it anyway.

There is within each of us a quiet center and from this center is where all action comes. Unless the center is found, we’re torn apart because we act from outside ourselves. This always leads to ruin in some form, he reminded.

Magnolia blossom
Magnolia blossom

The dream was a reminder for me that I am on a journey into my own life, my own unconscious. I choose this journey willingly and admit it is scary as hell at times. We all have darkness or unknown dragons or coyotes nipping at our heels. And it may indeed feel as if they want to slay us.

Campbell said that as the Hero leaves the realm of light and moves toward the threshold of the unconscious, the monster comes. The Hero is either resurrected after being torn to bits by the animal or kills the animal, tastes the blood and transcends.

I suppose we each have the choice of continuing our slumber or taking the journey of the Hero and risking everything to find our true nature. Ultimately it is a journey we do alone but made sweeter by those who have the courage to shine a light for us as we emerge from the dark waters to welcome us back home.

Sunrise in Akumal, Mexico
Sunrise in Akumal, Mexico
Living in the Moment

Living in the Moment

Stanley and Gracie teach me about relaxing into the present moment
Stanley and Gracie teach me about relaxing into the present moment

When we are really supposed to learn something it seems as if it continues to come up over and over in our daily lives. Have you ever noticed that? Themes that pop up so often you can’t ignore them?

Of late the idea of living in the present moment has been bombarding me from every direction. My meditations are filled with this encouragement. While I am in nature or performing everyday tasks like folding clothes, cleaning the cat box or washing dishes, I feel an inner nudge to stay anchored in the here and now.

Azaleas
Azaleas

This way of living doesn’t mean we neglect the ‘future’ by being irresponsible; far from that, it really helps us embrace the fullness of each day without getting stuck in worry and anxiety. We are then able to create a clear path for the future as we sweep away that which keeps us tied to the past.

It could be, at first glance, viewed as a cliche. But be assured there is absolutely nothing trite or cliche about it. In fact, being fully present is one of the deepest spiritual practices I have ever experienced. And it takes a lot of practice. But I finally feel the joy of choosing to be present with whatever is happening. Even if it’s deep emotional pain…choosing to stay with it, to breathe through it, I find the way to the other side of it.

Sunset over Gulf of Mexico at Fort Morgan Beach
Sunset over Gulf of Mexico at Fort Morgan Beach

Without hesitation I admit that nature is what most calls me to be present. Beyond seeing flowers, the Gulf, wildlife superficially, I look deeper and connect with my breath. Stopping to smell the azaleas, I inhale their sweetness and take in the pink color and exhaling I feel gratitude. Gazing out over the Gulf of Mexico I inhale the beauty of light dancing on the surface, blue-green color, pelicans diving, fish splashing….and I exhale gratitude.

This simple practice helps me stay in this beautiful present. I long to see past appearances and connect to the essence of life that constantly surrounds me. Life is only found in the moment. It is right here. When we are focused on the past or future we actually miss living our lives.

Random, wandering horse in desert. Bonaire, N.A.
Random, wandering horse in desert. Bonaire, N.A.

 

Here is a short video on living in the moment. Just click this sentence to link to it.

Anhinga and Mullet–Unlikely Partners

Anhinga and Mullet–Unlikely Partners

Beautiful Three Sister's Springs
Beautiful Three Sister’s Springs

After traveling to Crystal River, Florida today my friend Sherry and I SUP boarded to Three Sisters Springs in search of our manatee friends. The warm weather had enticed them out to feed so the springs were just bubbling away with a quiet serenity that was appealing given the usual crowd of people floating, splashing and screeching.

We paddled around for a while and I played with my underwater camera and video from atop the board. It was nice to be outside on water connecting with the palm trees, cypress trees, clear water, and wildlife.

The anhinga's perch
The anhinga’s perch

An anhinga was perched in a wildly arching palm tree for a bit then decided to go on a hunt. I paddled around the edge of the spring watching it weave in and out of tree roots and rocks searching for dinner. A large mullet was shadowing the bird probably waiting for it to stir up some plant litter for its dinner or a bug or something else it might eat. It was weird though as anhinga’s eat fish.

Of course, it was a large mullet…but still. Aren’t they suppose to be ‘enemies?’ Are we really supposed to hang out with those who might destroy us? Haven’t they been taught that they are NOT supposed to be friends? Or even help each other? (smile)

CopyrightSimoneLipscomb (2)They seemed very comfortable with each other so I’m guessing they had their negotiations and settled on a way to be together peacefully. It appeared that they were utterly comfortable with each other and were even friends. It was quite awesome to observe.

Perhaps we humans could learn from their behavior.

The Seeds We Plant

The Seeds We Plant

Glastonbury Tor
Glastonbury Tor

As the elliptical trainer whirled and my heart rate increased, my mind calmed. This rainy morning forced an indoor workout so to pass the time, I turned on an audio of a favorite speaker, John O’Donohue, and listened to his address called, Love Antidote. Even though it has been heard many times, more good stuff was gathered from his wisdom.

When he told a story or introduced an idea, my mind would take it and turn it over like a stone, wet from its life in a clear river. Textures, layers, colors spoke to me and offered insight into the human condition.

Rock stack in North Carolina river
Rock stack in North Carolina river

Have you ever had someone plant an idea in your mind that was based in fear? I have seen how much deep damage can occur when others sow seeds of fear and doubt in the minds of those we love, creating fertile ground for distrust to occur. The destruction of trust, joy and happiness that occurs when seeds such as this are scattered can be devastating.

I once had the privilege of helping teach a woman consumed with fear how to dive. She stood on the pool deck, that first night of class, and was shaking uncontrollably. Not even wet or in gear, she was terribly afraid. While my partner/instructor began the class, I began to work with her. What was uncovered were deep-seated fears about trusting herself. As a child she was taught to fear, to not trust herself to make good decisions. She experienced much growth from facing her fears and with a lot of one-on-one instruction from my partner, went on to become a good diver.

A friend of mine diving in Bonaire (not my student)
A friend of mine diving in Bonaire (not the student I referenced in writing) showing the joy that can occur from                                        doing something that pushes us through our fears

“Occasions of fear are invitations for freedom and courage.” (John O’Donohue)

How many times do we allow seeds, that other people plant within our minds, destroy our peace of mind or even relationships with those we love? How often do those seeds of fear grow into mind-beasts that control us and ruin our happiness or our potential for happiness?

John said that fear blinds us and we see only one door, one possibility, when there might be seven or eight doors. Every person is the holder of incredible possibilities. Deep down, he said, we know exactly what is going on and we have to give that truth a chance. If we can drop into stillness, silence and solitude everything that needs to happen will happen. The key is recognizing the seeds planted by others, that we have watered and tended with attention, that overshadow the truth.

Injured diver from Great Britain doing a dolphin therapy session
Injured diver from Great Britain doing a dolphin therapy session

He tells of sitting at people’s bedsides while they are dying and finding that regret is one of the loneliest places humans can ever find themselves.What is it that your heart truly wants to do but you are too afraid to do, he asks? What seeds have others planted that have made you doubt your own heart’s voice? How does fear keep you from living your life the way you want to?

Manatee
Manatee

So many need help…..children, animals, rivers, oceans, elders, trees, veterans. What holds us back? What seeds of fear have we allowed to take root so deeply that we choose no action rather than risk an imagined or perceived outcome based in fear, not in truth?

Child fishing near Coden, Alabama
Child fishing near Coden, Alabama

What if we choose to sow seeds of love and compassion? If we align our passion with that group or situation we feel most drawn to, only good can come from our step toward that which calls us. What is your passion? What opens your heart? My wish is that we all have the courage to step out of fear and follow our heart’s path. Imagine the results!

Girl Scouts welcoming wounded veterans to Key Largo, FL
Girl Scouts welcoming wounded veterans to Key Largo, FL