On the eve of a trip to visit with humpback whales I reflect. The bags are packed, the gear is loaded in my car for a 3.30am departure for the airport. Now, nothing to do but wait until it is nighttime for rest. On this dark, wet day the softness, gentleness of the rain has surrounded me with calm as I have finished the final tasks.

In fact, the entire week has been a week of inner calm, a direct opposite of last week when I was traveling and found out a space had opened up on a whale trip. Last week…chaos. This week…calm. Sweet, beautiful calm.

When I first heard whale song it deeply touched me. Roger Payne, back in 1967, first recorded whales (with Scott McVay). It was probably in the 1970’s that I heard his recording which was used to help promote an end commercial whaling in most of the world. Whale song travels across entire oceans. Perhaps their song was a call to action to my young environmentalist heart and to many others.

A couple years ago Bryant Austin published a book called Beautiful Whale. His project was the first life-size photographic documentation of whales. He basically sold everything he had, built a computer to handle the size of the files and proceeded to create a most amazing project. His work deeply touched me.

Around that same time I decided to paint a mural in my office and was inspired to paint a cosmic scene with stars and Earth. Floating in the Cosmos was humpback whales.

My daughter and son-in-law made a cool project for me that had the word ‘dream’ on it. I placed it under the cosmic whale mural and see it every day when I work.

Last summer my artist cousin told me of a program at an art museum in Pensacola. Roger Payne was speaking about a project Ocean Alliance had been doing with sperm whales in the Gulf of Mexico over the past several years. I heard him speak, met the crew and toured their research vessel.

In January I had a very wild experience on the way to Crystal River. I was listening to a John O’Donohue recording on Beauty and had paused it to speak into my voice recorder to take notes about my life dreams. At that moment, I glanced over my left shoulder and a huge, double rainbow was in the sky. I pulled up to a traffic signal and the name of the cross street was, Follow That Dream Parkway. I met a marine biologist and his wife from Australia and he encouraged me to visit Tonga and their humpback research station later in the year.

The entire series of events was put into motion by a very significant push to leave a day early for Crystal River. I listened, packed my stuff, and arrived a day early. The next day on the manatee trip I met Rich and learned of his work in marine education. After sharing a boat trip with Rich, Deb and Indiah and friendly manatees in Homosassa and having a very nice dinner with them, it felt like a series of doors begin to open within me.

I wasn’t sure about Tonga…it’s a very long trip for a solo traveler but other options were possible off the Silver Bank near the Dominican Republic. I remembered the captain of a live aboard dive boat’s encouragement a couple years ago to go with their crew on a whale trip and long story short I was chosen from a waiting list to go…just 10 days ago.

As I reflect back on this long love for humpback whales, I’ve been pulling on the thread a bit. How did this trip come about? What is it about? Where is this open door taking me?

The best way I can explain it is simply…surrender.

The words of John O’Donohue ignited a spark that was lit long ago and finally I have the courage to follow the dream. I’m not fearful of whales or the ocean. What’s held me back is fear of surrender. Surrender to my dreams. If I completely surrender and follow the Path that is opening before me, what will be the outcome?

What if I dare to live my dream? What if I surrender to that teenage heart that was so moved by whale song? What if I give myself the necessary tools to create the vision that is within…that perhaps I was born with?

I don’t know the outcome. I don’t know if whales will show up for those of us making the pilgrimage. I suppose the true pathway to our dreams comes with each small step we make in the direction of them.

On New Year’s Eve I sensed a huge change coming in 2015. The message I received during my meditation that night was:  I can no longer hide from the world. It is time to fully engage and remove anything covering the light I wish to bring to the world.

This afternoon, as I reflect back through my life, I see where whales have always been deep within my consciousness. The other night I had a dream: I arrived at the boat where we’ll be spending the week. The crew was giving me a tour. In the center of the boat was a moon pool but instead of going into the ocean it was the Cosmos…the starry heavens. I looked within it and dolphins and whales breached. And then I woke up and scribbled notes so I would remember.

I want to remember…I want to awaken to the wisdom calling me.

What is your dream?