We are shifting. Consciousness is evolving. We are witnessing the breakdown of the old way of fear so that we can live from our hearts. Those that are wanting to amass more power and wealth are doing everything they can to create more for themselves. What they don’t realize is that the chaos they are creating is causing a massive awakening. And it’s scary.

Transforming the self takes hard work and the level of transformation we are going through is deep and powerful. Fears arise. Deeply rooted fears arise. The scariest things we’ve ever imagined began to stand beside us as we tremble. And yet, the way through this time is to dive deep into the shadows within ourselves, for in those shadows are found our most incredible gifts. Our inner treasures are hidden in those dark shadows. The question is, who is willing to journey there?

It comes in waves for me and I was doing pretty good by staying off social media (I don’t watch the news). Then there was a fire near my home…a big one…and I used social media to stay informed. Then I got back in the habit of scrolling. And this evening, I got triggered. 

You see, I work on a federal grant. The government does not fund the grant, though. Nursing homes that are fined for violations fund this grant and many others. Last week all applications for new grants funded thusly were frozen as well as extensions on current grants…which we were about to apply for. This program is funded by nursing homes for nursing home residents, to improve their quality of life. So, not a waste of money or funded by the federal government. It’s one of those programs that support our elders who are suffering in their later years. 

The post that triggered me listed more agencies and programs that are being gutted…service programs for the less fortunate. And fear arose.

So, I went outside and stood on the ground with bare feet and placed my hands on the bare earth and felt my feelings. And breathed. And asked for help.

My life has been about service…state park naturalist, mental health counselor, massage therapist, nature photographer and writer. And now, project coordinator for a nursing home grant. I’ve volunteered to help sea turtles, dolphins, manatees…have worked with children in environmental education and with children and adults as a fly fishing guide volunteer. I’ve picked up litter on beaches and along roads, and currently volunteer with the national park nearby. Most of the books I’ve created and published I’ve shared profits with environmental groups. It hasn’t been about amassing a fortune. It has and will always be about wanting to help others…people, animals, places.

My life has been focused on empathy. Something the current administration says is a weakness, a flaw. If this is so, I am horribly and magnificently flawed.

As I knelt under the new moon, I spoke out loud about my gifts and talents and my desire to serve and help in the massive awakening occurring on our beloved planet. I don’t know if my job will continue or if tomorrow, I’ll be without income. But I do know I came here to serve and share beauty, kindness, and compassion. And I will continue doing that, no matter what.

I’m engaging deeply in my own transformation and I’m here to help others who wish to engage with theirs. Reach out. You are not alone.