Tag: Nature’s Teachings
Lasting Treasure

Lasting Treasure

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Some times I find myself working too hard to figure things out. That’s been the case with my feeling of stuck-ness that has lasted for five years. Sure I’ve written books, taken really nice photographs resulting from amazing travels, possibly even contributed to the awakening happening on our planet…but I’ve just not been able to find a steady rhythm of forward momentum. For an Aries, a trail-blazer, it’s almost unbearable. Shouldn’t I be doing SOMETHING more!?!?

I came across some guidance the other day that basically said I need time to withdraw and contemplate after the breakup of a relationship I thought was my happily-ever-after. (That break-up was over five years ago). It said to rest and grow strong, retreat from life. I was reminded of The Hermit, the archetype that withdraws and consolidates and visualizes the pattern of destiny, the Will of the Spirit.

It’s not a daily sadness or even missing him but a daily remembering of the good times when two people vow to share their lives. I’ve done the healing of grief and sadness but haven’t been able to move out of the stuck place. So in meditation I asked what I was missing in the situation, thus the guidance. How does one create a new vision of life when the path seemed so beautiful and clear with another person? Or job….or home….or child…or planet.

Then I thought, it’s not just ‘him.’ I planned on the the ocean and rivers and mountains and shores being healthy…dolphins, whales, sea turtles, manatees….I’m not just trying to find a way forward from a man I loved, I am trying to find footing on a planet that is in peril. What if everything I have taken for granted and loved deeply disappears? This is the big existential question looming and creating a major pause in my skipping along the merry path. It’s more than just a man…isn’t it always?

Thirty-two years ago I consciously stepped on to a spiritual path seeking truth and searching for meaning. There have been so many times along the way I wished I could forget what I had learned about myself, about the world around me and return to ignorant bliss; however, somewhere along the way I realized clearing out the old ‘yuck’ and healing old, unhealthy patterns of behavior was slowly allowing me to experience deeper joy, stronger peace that lasted longer with each step up the ladder. As my wholeness increased I became more aligned with work that held meaning and felt inspired by my heart.

Photograph Summer 2010…Shell Oil

When the BP Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill occurred I was living in Asheville with my husband. That moment….April 20th, 2010…called me to service. It was my personal wake-up call/invitation to fully commit my time and resources to raising awareness of the beauty of nature and the brokenness that exists between humans and nature…and the importance of restoring the awareness of Oneness of all life. Oddly enough, that was the beginning of the end of my marriage….the unraveling had started but it was the deep call to service that ultimately pulled us apart…him to Iraq, me to coastal Alabama.

Photograph I took Summer 2010. It reminds me of a woman’s body and so I call it the Rape of Mother Earth

I reported the oil when it first washed ashore in the Bon Secour National Wildlife Refuge on the Gulf of Mexico. I sat there and wept as waves of chocolate-colored, benzene-smelling crude oil and dispersant made landfall on the sugar white beaches. My world fell apart. I couldn’t believe humans could do this to a planet. It’s one thing to see it reported on the news and quite another to smell it, feel it, and watch the destructiveness as it creeps along killing everything it its path.

Gulf State Park Summer 2010

I haven’t broken my relationship with nature but humans have, as a whole, broken the bond of Oneness, the realization that whatever we do to nature, we do to ourselves.

How does one move forward with the awareness of such brokenness?

Perhaps it begins by taking time to listen to the Path of Destiny, to form a new vision by taking a break. By asking what the Will of Spirit is preparing as I surrender more to my heart’s calling.

While cycling this morning a David Wilcox song (Deeper Still) came on my playlist and the lyrics really spoke to me, not just about my former beloved but about the path of service. Often these thoughts come…Have I wasted my time and resources? Am I on the right trajectory? What was I thinking? This song was my answer…. “In this life the love you give becomes the only lasting treasure.”

In the tears you gave to me
I found a river to an ocean.
Concrete sky and a stone cold sea
Came to where the emptiness cracked open.

Then all my fears came crashing through
And met the fire of my sorrow.
But I found my strength in forgiving you.
I never even knew how far my heart could go.

I live my life beyond each death
From the deeper well of trust.
To know that when there’s nothing left
You will always have what you gave to love.

In this life the love you give
Becomes the only lasting treasure.
So that what you lose will be what you win.
A well that echoes down too deep to measure.

Every bit of love I have given along my path is my greatest treasure….a well too deep to measure.
Chasing Sunrise

Chasing Sunrise

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The route has been the same for a few years now. If I time it right, the orange orb rising over the swamp greets me as I traverse the cross-over trail. And if I’m really lucky, there is mist hovering over the area.  I am a creature of habit.

Now there are many new trails over previously inaccessible areas. And the Gulf of Mexico wonders where I’ve been all these months. Where did you go? she whispers in Her waves as they kiss the shore.

So many choices now. Which way to go?

First, I answer Her call. Straight to salt water before the sun arises from slumber. Sometimes She is rowdy and throws Herself on white sand and other times She is metallic turquoise and barely moves, containing her energy. But every day Her voice whispers advice or leads me deeper into silence.

And then the sun calls me and I do something not previously done….I ride into the Light.

I realized last week that for years I have planned my rides so that I don’t have face the sun…who wants to stare into the sun when there are other ways and routes that prevent this? But sunrise over the marsh, elevated on the boardwalk is exquisite. The Light calls me to face it….to turn towards it and allow it to bathe me in its glow.

I used to want to observe the sun as it peeked over the swamp. Now I want it to wrap around me, shine upon me and fill me…so every day I cycle I chase sunrise.

 I have started a line of shirts called, Follow the Light. The first one is now available for purchase. The sale of these tees supports my work and allows me to do more of what my heart calls me to do. This design is available in white unisex sizes or ladies v-neck rocking a modern cut and design. Support the work but above all, Follow the Light!

There is a limited number available on this first production.

Purchase here or send me a message to purchase.
You Open Me

You Open Me

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The Gulf has been calling me lately and so my cycling mornings have included a visit to Her as the sun rises over the sugar-white sand dunes. This morning on my journey to Her, a song came on my playlist that took me deeper into the magic of the morning.

“So sublime, this meeting, you and I. So beautiful that sparkle in your eye.” Just as I passed a freshwater canal leading to the big lake in the state park the sparkle of the Divine reflected off of the water’s surface. I stopped to take in the moment and breathe deeply with Her.

“I see you. You see me. Makes me realize how tragically rare and wonderful is this scene. I treasure this moment however long. It’s teaching me maybe I don’t need to be so strong….You open me….You open me….You open me.”

As I continued listening and humming along, my heart opened and tears came. How precious is this moment….this time in relationship with Mother Earth, the physical expression of the Divine. I broke open. The thought came, we never really know how much we love someone until they are gone from our lives. And then…we never really know how much we love this planet until it begins to die….bit by beautiful bit.

Over the boardwalk my tires thumped until I reached the beach. Metallic turquoise water and soft, pink skies reached out to me and I laughed out loud at the sacred beauty.

“I love that you are a being, magically. It’s so lonely sometimes being me. It’s what we all wish for and need. So precious this moment, to be seen….devastatingly beautiful….humanity.  You open me…you open me…..you open me.”

I pushed the replay button and stood feeling the cool air kissing me as the music played. “I treasure this moment however long. It’s teaching me maybe I don’t need to be so strong.” And as I sang along, two dolphins appeared within a few feet of the shoreline.  I walked my bike on the soft sand to the water’s edge and stood laughing with unbounded joy as the dolphins continued feeding a bit further offshore.

As I clapped and sang my gratitude they jumped completely out of the water three times. “You open me…you open me…you open me. Sita ram….sita ram….sita ram.”

Sita ram is a mantra that invokes the energy of the divine couple, a perfect balance of masculine and feminine energy, a balance of the left and right sides of the brain. As I stood watching the dolphins swim west, I found deep calm and balance as I opened to Mother Ocean, Mother Earth and the sacred dance we share.

You Open Me…a lovely song by Jim Beckwith performed by him and Hans Christian that helps me open to the magnificent beauty of our Ocean Planet….and the light that shines through all willing to be a channel.
Another Way to Connect

Another Way to Connect

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Pizza slices, cherries, flamingos, ducks, bulls, dolphins, sharks….plastic devices for floating down the Sante Fe River at Ginnie Springs whizzed past.

A steady parade of these and many more creative devices tied to the tops and sides of all kinds of vehicles, but especially pick-up trucks, made its way past.  The choking dust drifted over dive gear, into eyes and lungs and I wondered what in the world we were thinking. Sunday at Ginnie Springs during the ‘season.’ The season of wildness where people mount and ride the variety of colorful floats, some the size of a small room, while pulling coolers of favorite libations with portable stereos blasting country, rap, Mexican, hip hop, 80’s and everything except classical…there was no classical music. Scantily clad people from late middle age to toddlers demonstrated a different way to enjoy the 72 degree, clear water.

Generally I’m underwater in a cave at Ginnie Springs or in the cavern or just underwater playing with my camera gear and this during the cooler months when cold water and cold beer aren’t nearly as attractive when straddling a bull while floating down the river. But this is when the trip was scheduled so we dealt with the situation.

I hurriedly got my gear assembled and slid into the water while the other divers were getting situated. The canal or run going from the steps to the Devil’s Eye cave entrance was almost completely silted out due to bouncing, tube-happy, inebriated merry-makers. I wound my way through legs of all shapes, sizes and colors and tried to avoid being kicked or hit with wildly waving hands paddling underwater.

The Eye, one of two entrances to the Devil Cave system, was inviting. At about twenty feet in depth, the nearly perfect circle was empty at the bottom. I drifted down, grateful to be out of the barrage of insanity. Peace….

An open water instructor and a student or two came down for a while but eventually I had it to myself and waved at a couple of cave divers as they slid past into the gaping mouth of the cave. I knelt on the bottom and photographed….played for over half and hour with the light and shapes of people coming and going overhead.

Then I braved going out of the Eye and headed toward the Ear entry of the cave, hoping that the brown tannic water of the river would be intruding with clear, spring water just enough to create interesting photography. I had to wait for a few open water divers to leave and eventually they did. I dropped into the Ear and felt the rush of the fresh water spring as it blasted against me. I dumped the air from my BC (scuba vest) and landed on a large log at about seventeen feet in depth. I straddled the log and sat for another thirty minutes or so and watched as the brown water swirled overhead with the sun giving special effects. I didn’t want to leave but after an hour in 72 degree water in a wetsuit, I was cold.

On my way back to the take-out point I passed our open water divers and took a few images of them then headed into the chaos of the channel, back through more legs and thrashing arms and finally exited to dust, blaring music and screams of people enjoying their Sunday afternoon.

I couldn’t get in my car as my keys were locked in another diver’s truck, so I removed my soggy wetsuit and sat on the bench drinking water while watching as the parade of merry-makers passed in their trucks, golf carts, four-wheelers…all carrying their colorful and quite bizarre vehicles of floatation on top, tied to the hood, sides…anywhere they could secure them.

Some of our group of open water divers enjoying the Eye.

At first I admit there was judgment on my part about the noise and rowdy behavior but as I softened my attitude and simply observed, I saw how much fun they were having. They could have been sitting at home becoming brain-dead with televisions but they were interacting with nature and having a blast.  And somewhere in my surface interval I came to appreciate the fact that connecting with nature isn’t always about solitude and quiet.

A UFO (unidentified floating object) overhead from my perch on the log in the Ear.
Lightness of Being

Lightness of Being

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Usually I share my own photographs and video as part of my work, my gift to the world. Lately I haven’t felt the words form, haven’t felt inspired to create. It’s been very heavy, bottom to top.

So today I found this video of a humpback calf playing with dolphins and it seemed to tell the story that I don’t feel inspired to tell now, but hope to soon.

I hope you enjoy the lightness of being. May the light of this calf and her friends shower all with beauty and peace….and hope.