Crystal-clear, warm saltwater caressed my feet and legs. In the gray, pre-dawn light I stood allowing gentle waves to wash away worries, concerns, grief. The Ocean brought me into the present moment.
The morning ritual, while in my Ocean ‘home’ island of Bonaire, is to gather tiny bits of sea glass, tumbled from the constant irritation of sand and movement. It’s a small beach of honey-colored sand, so soft it made me smile with delight. The tinkling sound of bits of coral clinking together was music made by the Ocean…the soundtrack to my morning.
A dry and exposed wall of fossilized coral protected me from the strong and constant winds of this small desert island. I stood gazing into the water and felt someone looking back at me. My eyes scanned the water as movement within a few feet of me caught my attention.
This is NOT a photograph of a sea turtle…just a nice gathering of corals and sponges.
There, at the edge of the coral and sand, was a small sea turtle. No more than 10 inches across, it was peeking out at me–a lovely little hawksbill turtle. Mermaid practice started early this morning. The lesson? Everything’s okay. In this moment, at this place…all is well. Time to take a break from planetary destruction, humanity’s hate/humanity’s fighting. Time to allow grief, of loved ones lost, pass into another dimension as the present moment embraced me with such beauty. A juvenile hawksbill friend reminded me of this with her intense gaze from her eyes to mine.
After breakfast I gathered dive gear and headed with my buddy down to the water. It felt magnificent to be submerged again, one with the Ocean, breathing on life-support that would allow me over an hour of communing with my brothers and sisters of the sea.
Friendly porcupinefish
A friendly and large porcupinefish escorted me for the first half of the dive, looking back occasionally to see if I was still there. One time he circled back and waited for me when I stopped to look at two spotted moray eels tucked under a coral head. When I turned to head back to the exit point, the sweet, prickly friend waved a fin goodbye. I blew a farewell kiss.
An hour break to hydrate, eat and assemble The Beast–my Aquatica housing for my Nikon D-800 and two massive strobes. I think I should intensify my upper body workouts just to lift the gadgetry.
But once underwater, tools I had only dreamed of in the past became a reality. A big smile erupted from deep within me. This system…this beast of a system…was almost neutrally buoyant…just slightly negatively so. It handled like a dream and produced images with a fisheye lens that made me very happy…finally….I can create images that in some way do justice to the magnificent beauty of this realm, this Ocean of beauty where I find peace.
Before even reaching the drop-off on the reef, three friendly squid played with me and one especially like my dome port. It was a squid dance unequal to any I’ve had in the past. Sometimes they can be shy and evasive but these guys actually invited me to play.
And once again, the larger-than-life porcupinefish met me at our appointed time and posed for a couple of photographs before I turned to head back to dry land….a most challenging proposition for a mermaid-in-training.
Special thanks to my friends Will and Dolphi for helping me and The Beast into and out of the water. It’s a learning experience…accepting assistance and even asking for it (gasp!).
“The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.” My pen scribbled notes as I watched the video of Jim Carey giving the commencement address at a college. His entire speech focused on letting go of the armor that we use to set boundaries and allowing the light to shine through our form. “The peace we’re after lies beyond personality, beyond effort, disguise. Risk being seen in all of your glory.” He reminded….we are the light that shines through us, nothing more.
It felt as if a bell was ringing with each sentence of insight he shared. How much effort do we put into creating a persona? Designer clothes, make-up, shoes that cost more than some worker’s weekly wages. Rather than relaxing and allowing the light to shine through us we tend to create a false self that feeds ego. We’re all guilty of it in varying degrees. And as we do this, it takes us further from our truth.
“Ego says I can’t stop until I’ve left an indelible mark on this earth,” Carey stated. I paused the video and breathed in that statement. While our intentions might be good, all the striving and pushing to make ‘the mark’ distracts us by the angst created. The definition of angst according to Siri? “An acute feeling of anxiety; usually reserved for philosophical anxiety about the world or about personal freedom.” Yep, angst….created by striving and pushing to ‘make something of ourselves.’
Will Kimbrough, a prolific songwriter and performer, shares his light….
This doesn’t mean we sit on our rear ends and wait for the Universe to shower us with everything for which we’ve ever dreamed. We let the Universe know what we want, work toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass…according to Carey. “Your job is not to figure out how it’s going to happen but to open the door in your head and so when it opens in real life you just walk through it.”
And lastly: “Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world.” If we play into ego’s game then working to fit in, find our niche, make that big difference in the world relates, at the core, to fitting in with the crowd. Yet again, when we act from this mindset, we shut down our beauty, our gifts and talents…our light.
Sugarcane Jane, Anthony & Savana Lee Crawford, create beautiful music, have a family and share their beauty with the world.
It’s not easy being different, dancing to the beat of your own drum. It makes many people very uncomfortable. It takes courage and a strong belief that who we are is valuable…just because…not because we act a certain way or say the right thing or dress in $400 shoes or wear a designer label.
The challenge offered is to make a choice between love and fear. Dare to be the wondrous light you are and follow the flow of talent, interest, skill that you have within yourself. The funny thing is this–you will indeed make a mark on the world without making that your intention…just because you are being your authentic self.
Be the Light. And as Carey said, “Don’t let fear turn you against your playful heart!”
Sunrise sea turtle patrols have given so much beauty to me. Amazing colors, painted across vast expanses of salt water and open sky, instill within me such gratitude and peace. Occasionally that sweet peace is hard to access due to vast expanses of trash washed on shore.
This morning was a struggle…it was very humid and over 80 degrees at 5.30am. Trash littered the beach as I walked, looking for sea turtle tracks. The bag I brought was soon full and a plastic bucket was half-way full when I saw a glass bottle floating in a tidal pool. I reached for it and noticed a small, roll of brown paper with writing on it. It was wet but the writing was still readable so I stuck it in the plastic pail and carried it as I completed my walk.
After filling another plastic bucket along the shore, I got permission from tenants at a beach home to dump the trash in their can. The glass bottle remained with me as I walked the mile and a half back to my car.
Breakfast with our sea turtle team lifted my spirits from the sadness I felt from humanity’s apparent lack of concern for our beautiful planet. Good laughter and food helped.
Once home, I uploaded photographs from the morning and then washed sand off the bottle. Carefully I removed the cork and unfolded the saturated paper. The words across the top were…”For Kyle.” This wasn’t going to be like the first message in a bottle I found a couple years ago…one of marital celebration and commitment. No. This was very different. I could feel it as I unrolled the paper.
Both sides were filled with writing and the message of love was so powerfully written. It was a memorial for a man. At first I thought it was in regards to one of the sailors that drowned during the severe storm during the Mobile Bay Regatta. I couldn’t recall the date of that event but the writer mentioned him sailing away on a sailboat. It wasn’t until I completed reading it that I found out what happened.
After completing the first side I turned the note over and found a request for whoever found the bottle to please call or write Kyle’s mother in Kentucky as she loves the beach so much. “Please….if you find this ‘message in a bottle’ please write or call Kyle’s mother. Let her know you found it (and where). Her name is Rhonda. Her son Kyle went to meet the Lord on May 11, 2015. He was a victim of an explosion. He hung on to life for 2 ½ weeks. He was only 27 years old. His mother loves loves loves the sun and beach, so I thought it only fitting to write this message in tribute to him, while on vacation in Orange Beach, Alabama and during the time of his passing. So please….write her a note or give her a call. I’m giving her a framed copy of this ‘message’ so….she’ll be waiting! God Bless You!”
Internet Photograph
I did an internet search and found his name and the details of what happened. Kyle Rogers was a distiller in western Kentucky and was severely injured along with his cousin Jay Rogers in an explosion and fire on April 25th. They were both air-lifted to Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville. After 2 ½ weeks Kyle passed from his body at 5pm on May 11th.
As a writer, there are few times where words escape me but now, as I sit here trying to write something that honors this young man, I find only tears for Kyle’s suffering and loss of life and for his family’s deep loss. I know that each time I walk along the beach at sunrise, searching for mother sea turtle tracks, I will think of Kyle and his family and will say a little prayer that their grief will be healed over time.
From these beaches each year comes thousands of sea turtle hatchlings that bring hope to an Ocean challenged by many environmental issues. When babies hatch from along our shore later this summer I will remember this young man and his family and will light a candle of hope in my heart for all who suffer.
The shell was still warm from saltwater. The perfectly formed brown and cream-colored swirls of calcium carbonate dried quickly in my hand. The empty shell was an unexpected gift, a reminder of the beauty and mystery of life in the sea.
I walked eastward in the pre-dawn light searching along the high-tide line for sea turtle tracks. The calm, clear water of the Gulf of Mexico reflected soft, pastel light that illuminated my early-morning walk with exquisite colors that made me yearn for my big Nikon…left behind on this sea turtle patrol.
The only tracks I discovered were those of a four-wheeled type driven by a biologist and crew who have been studying sea turtles in Alabama since the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill in 2010. Over the past five years they have satellite tagged, drawn blood samples, conducted DNA tests and other measurable markers on our sea turtles in an effort to study where they feed and live…and probably gather a little data for evidence in the BP Deepwater Horizon legal case.
A report compiled by the Ocean Conservancy in 2014 stated that 1149 sea turtles were collected during the BP oil spill from April 30, 2010 to April 12, 2011. Of those 613 were dead. Out of the total number of sea turtles collected, 809 were Kemps Ridley’s…a highly endangered species. And 481 of those were dead. “Tens of thousands of sea turtles were located in coastal waters within the surface oil extent and were exposed to oil.” There were 278 sea turtle nests relocated from the Northern Gulf Coast that produced 14,700 hatchlings.
So there is a need to study sea turtles in our area and while the study sounds great, there are some things to consider. First, the satellite tags are attached to the shell with epoxy which gets quite hot as it hardens. There are nerve endings in the shell or carapace so sea turtles so they actually feel the burning of the epoxy as it hardens. When a female has completed her exhausting nesting process–heaving her 350 pound body out of the water and crawling in soft sand, digging a hole with her rear flippers, laying maybe 120 eggs, covering the hole and crawling back towards the water–she is corralled by two-legged beings, ‘burned’ with epoxy, poked with needles and held captive until the ‘glue’ hardens and the scientists have everything they need from her. Then she is released and must crawl back into the water…after being exhausted from nesting and ‘harassment’ by the team.
Harassment, in terms of the US Fish and Wildlife Service, is any human-generated behavior that causes a wild animal to change his or her behavior…including feeding, watering, touching, chasing, injuring, changing habitat, etc.
No matter how much good the data does the scientists…or sea turtles…it is a very stressful process for the mother turtles.
According to a report released by the biologist, they have tagged 59 females (that’s perhaps 15% of the Northern Gulf of Mexico population…a large sample for scientists). They concluded that one-third of the small and declining population live year-round in the Northern Gulf of Mexico. They want to continue tracking and studying sea turtles to test whether they revisit the same feeding areas and this gives new possibilities for management and conversation practices.
What if 15% of the total population…the tagged turtles…. are in some way damaged from the very process that is supposed to help the species? How many tagged sea turtles is enough? How much data is enough?
I have attended two of the debriefings done by the scientists after their tagging season here and saw how the data and the drive for more data seemed to overshadow the species they intend to protect. Watching the scientists light up when describing numbers or capturing male loggerheads by jumping on their backs while the turtles are swimming… bothered me. Is collection of data the prize, the goal? How does long-term concern of the individually tagged animals enter into the equation? It’s easy for humans to say, it doesn’t hurt the turtles, but where is long-term research and evidence to back-up that statement?
The government won’t take action against business unless there are very specific and detailed data showing how the species is being harmed from corporate functions (fossil fuel industry as one example, commercial fisheries is another). So scientists have to focus on numbers…the only thing the government seems to understand….or maybe the only thing scientists understand. It could be very easy to lose track of the health of individual animals while wanting to save an entire species. But this only supposition on my part.
For many years I have volunteered with wildlife biologists and most are very dedicated, caring individuals. I have had discussions with some of them about the issues addressed in this commentary. I hope they can understand how their actions might look to those of motivated to act solely out of compassion and love.
Weather in which northern flying squirrels are removed from nesting boxes and processed for data
Waking an endangered northern flying squirrel in the high altitudes of the Blue Ridge Mountains during intense cold to weigh them, measure their back leg and tag them seems edgy. But they must have their numbers to justify continued endangered status. I assisted with this research and it bothered me because it seemed to endanger an endangered species…to collect data to justify its status as endangered. (Twisted??)
Sea turtles here in Alabama have been poked, prodded, tagged now for the past several years. Can’t they just be left to nest in peace? But no, numbers are needed…more, more, more numbers.
While earning my undergraduate degree at Auburn University I took a wildlife conservation class and learned the history of this endeavor. Science has evolved through the years and thankfully moved to a more compassionate way of studying species, but I think it has a long way to go.
My theory: Scientists become hyper-focused on numbers and data because that’s the only way they can get the money to fund more studies to prove to the government that the species is endangered, threatened or healthy. I can imagine that their original intention to help wildlife must become a frustration to them as they have to work within a broken system focused on money, money…money.
Last night I was reading a chapter in a book by Jim Nollman. It was about his time spent with orca in Buddy’s Cove, British Columbia. He describes the non-stop ‘researchers’ who visit the whales and spend hours each day in small boats chasing them or the film crews who are equally aggressive in their pursuit of orca. Their justification is to help orca but in the truest sense, this is harassment. And the government issues permits to allow it.
I totally understand the need to study wild animals in order to provide data that gives proof to the government of what’s supposedly happening so that laws and rules and status changes can be implemented. But a red flag seems appropriate to raise when the welfare of the species they are trying to ‘protect’ comes into question from the research practices. Animals harassed long-term due to research become stressed. Perhaps we need to look at the practices of science that insist on data to prove anything. So it’s not as simple as finger-pointing at the government or corporations or scientists. Perhaps the process of research has never really taken deeper issues of quality of life and respect into consideration.
Can science, common sense and compassion coexist? It is a question yet to be answered. The sea holds many mysteries. Humans who think they can unravel the mysteries without common sense and compassion will never fully understand the very thing they think they are protecting. I wonder if some scientists feel as if they have to sell their soul, little-by-little, as they work within such a warped model to protect wildlife that live in environments highly damaged due to human exploitation.
Humans can justify just about anything in the name of science. Governments can refuse to take protective action unless there are years of data. Corporations know this and profit from it. And what about the wildlife? Indeed…what about the wildlife.
Muted light from behind a large, orange and pink cloud bank illuminated the white sand and clear salt water of the Gulf of Mexico. So gentle this day began as I walked in quiet contemplation, looking for sea turtle tracks.
A pastel palette offered itself to the Master Artist as dolphins and human alike witnessed the birth of a new day. Gentle, lacy-edged waves kissed the shore, their whispered voices singing…. Shuuuuuuuu……… Shuuuuuuuu…….. Shuuuuuu.
It isn’t easy rising at 4.30am but never has the dawn disappointed. And this morning, in particular, was soft and lovely and embraced me with gentleness.
Crystal-clear, warm saltwater caressed my feet and legs. In the gray, pre-dawn light I stood allowing gentle waves to wash away worries, concerns, grief. The Ocean brought me into the present moment.
The morning ritual, while in my Ocean ‘home’ island of Bonaire, is to gather tiny bits of sea glass, tumbled from the constant irritation of sand and movement. It’s a small beach of honey-colored sand, so soft it made me smile with delight. The tinkling sound of bits of coral clinking together was music made by the Ocean…the soundtrack to my morning.
A dry and exposed wall of fossilized coral protected me from the strong and constant winds of this small desert island. I stood gazing into the water and felt someone looking back at me. My eyes scanned the water as movement within a few feet of me caught my attention.
After breakfast I gathered dive gear and headed with my buddy down to the water. It felt magnificent to be submerged again, one with the Ocean, breathing on life-support that would allow me over an hour of communing with my brothers and sisters of the sea.
An hour break to hydrate, eat and assemble The Beast–my Aquatica housing for my Nikon D-800 and two massive strobes. I think I should intensify my upper body workouts just to lift the gadgetry.
But once underwater, tools I had only dreamed of in the past became a reality. A big smile erupted from deep within me. This system…this beast of a system…was almost neutrally buoyant…just slightly negatively so. It handled like a dream and produced images with a fisheye lens that made me very happy…finally….I can create images that in some way do justice to the magnificent beauty of this realm, this Ocean of beauty where I find peace.
Before even reaching the drop-off on the reef, three friendly squid played with me and one especially like my dome port. It was a squid dance unequal to any I’ve had in the past. Sometimes they can be shy and evasive but these guys actually invited me to play.
And once again, the larger-than-life porcupinefish met me at our appointed time and posed for a couple of photographs before I turned to head back to dry land….a most challenging proposition for a mermaid-in-training.
Special thanks to my friends Will and Dolphi for helping me and The Beast into and out of the water. It’s a learning experience…accepting assistance and even asking for it (gasp!). 
