Today I read a story about two men who lost loved ones in the tsunami in Japan a few years ago. The two women, who worked at the same bank, were swept away in the huge wave and left behind a husband and a father. After the devastating event, the men decided to learn to scuba dive.
This wasn’t an easy task. Both were in their fifties and while that’s not a deterrent, they both reported it was difficult learning to dive; however, their desire to dive pushed them to complete the training.
It wasn’t a recreational pastime they sought but a way to search for the women they loved. Now they regularly dive in the cold waters off the coast of Japan looking for anything they can find of their loved ones….a shoe, a purse, a dress….their physical remains.
I was reminded, while reading the story, how we search for those we love. They may no longer be with us in the physical sense yet can continue to be very present emotionally, spiritually and mentally. We hold their love, their shiny brilliance and the good they brought to us, like priceless treasures. And like the divers from Japan, we are willing to explore dark, cold waters of the subconscious mind to gather in the remnants of memory that keep us connected to them.
The loss of someone close–through separation, divorce, death–is profound, deep and difficult to move beyond, especially when the love was strong. It’s been over three years for me and the love is strong and deep and the memories of our first few years together sparkle like sunbeams in my heart. Even though it was a choice we both made, the pain is no less real, the loss is no less great, than death. And it was a death…of us as partners.
It’s okay to dive deep within looking for those beautiful moments and memories…not to stay stuck in the past but to celebrate something that was really good and beautiful once upon a time.
The mind is a powerful tool. Many times we forget how our thoughts, especially thoughts charged with emotion, can affect our lives and the lives of others. If we pause and simply monitor our thoughts we might be surprised at how much negativity we put out into the world.
Usually it’s subtle. It’s not the angry rants that lie just beneath the surface, sending out energy that is harmful. Those are relatively easy to see. It’s those very subtle thoughts that lie in the shadows, avoiding conscious attention yet almost imperceivably going out into the world to cause harm.
During the Gulf Oil Spill I discovered that I had very serious hatred of BP and Halliburton. As I walked the miles of oil-coated beaches, my eyes and nose burning from crude oil chemicals and dispersant, I seethed in anger and rage. Finally, I stopped and realized how harmful this was to my own well-being and realized the energy I was putting out into the world was incredibly harmful and offered no solution to the problem.
So one day in meditation, I imagined a huge table. Executives from BP and Halliburton were seated around it and I saw myself there with them. I looked each person in the eye and said, “You are my brother” or “You are my sister.” I saw that they were human, capable of mistakes. It brought much-needed peace to me.
As I monitor my thoughts, I seek those subtle, sneaky bits of messages that tend to repeat in my mind and especially look for those charged with emotion. It’s amazing what can be found lurking in the shadows of our minds. Oddly enough, we might discover that our emotionally-charged, negative thoughts about others help to create the situation in which we feel wounded.
Given this realization, what can we do?
The great hurdle is realizing our own role in creating the situation. One way to promote healing is to offer the simple practice of seeing light in others.
For example, as I worked out on the elliptical trainer today I listened to meditative music and imagined myself telling someone from my past what I admired about them. I reflected to them their beauty. Thirty minutes was spent directing positive energy toward this person. It felt as if a window was being washed, so the person could be seen clearly.
Hours later, asI sat to do my daily mediation, I had in my hand a fossilized whale ear bone this person had given me. As I went to stand up I put pressure on the stone and it broke. How can I fossilized bone that turned to stone break? It felt like a significant and great mystery was being shown. Perhaps things we think are hardened like stone need to break open so the wounds can heal.
Seeing the light in others is not always easy. In the relentless assaults on Mother Earth and all Her creatures it is especially difficult to find light in the perpetrators. Yet if we can’t imagine there is light in the darkest heart, how can we ever have hope?
To those whom we love the most, we must forgive ourselves when we project negative opinions to them and be a mirror that shines the bright light of their highest self to them. And we must have the courage to see the light within ourselves, which is perhaps the most difficult task of all.
The grooves of brain coral remind me of the chemical grooves worn into our brains by the stories we repeat to ourselves, the stories we re-live over and over again.
The brain is an amazing organ upon which we depend for survival. It’s like the movie director of the body giving directions that enable us to move, breathe, think…the list seems endless. Chemicals in the brain transmit thoughts and create neural grooves, like grooves in a record album, and the more we practice the thoughts associated with a particular groove, the deeper it becomes.
Take the Reticular Activating System (RAS). It’s a small part of the brain that acts like a filter between the conscious and subconscious mind. It takes instructions from the conscious mind and passes them along to the unconscious mind. And here’s the amazing part: It cannot distinguish between real and synthetic reality. It believes whatever message you give it.
By repeating the same, old stories to ourselves, we stay stuck in the traumatic event, unable to create a better life.
For instance, if you had a bad experience in your past that was very traumatic and created a deep scar on your life, you focus on the event and think about it for years creating messages you continue to send to your subconscious mind. If your spouse was unfaithful and your relationship dissolved and you lost everything, this negative experience replays over and over in your mind. When you have other relationships, your conscious mind tells your subconscious mind the story associated with your relationship experience. If you haven’t healed those old messages, then your mind creates scenarios where you believe your current partner is doing the same thing as the original partner who was unfaithful. You begin to act as if it’s happening again, your behavior becomes suspicious, you withdraw and the current spouse is clueless as to why you are angry, upset and blaming for no reason. The end result? Your relationship ends and your storyline is reinforced.
BP Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill…I documented this for a year while I lived in North Carolina. It took me a very long time to free myself from this trauma.
Or perhaps you have an experience of an environmental disaster and witness, first-hand, the death, destruction and devastation caused by such an event. Your mind creates a negative experience and communicates daily messages through your RAS in your brain. The result? Depression, anxiety, frustration, anger and the message of gloom and doom.
We can apply this to each of our lives in many situations. What is the message we are telling ourselves? What are we creating by telling ourselves the same stories? Without judgment we can look at our self-talk and the thoughts we dwell on and begin to unravel the tales we tell ourselves, the stories that can make us leave life, give up hope and withdraw into our own self-created hell.
We chain ourselves to past trauma when we continue to tell ourselves the same story.
Quite simply put, whatever we think about, picture in our minds, repeatedly on a daily basis and put emotional energy into is what we experience. We might have been victims of a tragic event or illness, but how we choose to move forward from those events becomes vital to the quality of our lives and the possibility of a bright future.
When we live stuck in the past, reality is overshadowed by the event that happened in the past. The tragic event becomes bigger than real life.
Friedrich Nietzsche wrote of the evolution of consciousness in three levels described as the Camel, Lion and Child. The camel is sleepy, self-satisfied and dull and lives on delusion, thinking he’s everything, the ultimate but is so concerned with other’s opinions that has hardly any energy of his own.
Coming from the Camel is the Lion. Nietzsche wrote that once we realize we’ve been missing life, we begin to say ‘no’ to the demands of others and we don’t allow ourselves to be used. We find ourselves alone, by choice, proud and roaring in our truth. But he reminds us that this isn’t the end.
The Child emerges from the Lion as innocent and true to his or her own being. Moving from the depression and sleepy state of the Camel to the rebellious Lion, the Child finally emerges as spontaneous and centered, whole.
When we dare to become aware of the stories we tell ourselves, we can become full expressions of our most authentic selves. There’s no need to repeat the same stories of our wounded past or expect that those who love us will repeat the same behaviors that created the wounds. And on a macrocosmic level, if we dare to stop repeating the same stories and envision a planet of health, peace and love…well, anything is possible. It’s time to become aware of the stories we tell ourselves….and create new ones.
A week has passed and sadly I must pack away my mermaid gear and make the journey back from Poseidon’s Realm to Gulf Coastal Sands. Can’t really complain about that though.
The moon and sea have shared many Mysteries with me, some of which will find their way into future writings. All of which enrich my life and help me be a better Ocean steward…and mermaid.
Fish have befriended me, iguanas have claimed me as their sister and the Ocean has enveloped me in liquid love so sweet I can scarcely put it into mere words. An octopus danced with me, squid played with the dome port on my camera housing and my soul was washed clean and healed on levels I’m not even aware of at this juncture.
New friends who played with this mermaid.
New human friends have come into my life and perhaps on some future dive trip we’ll get to splash into the watery depths and share the special magic of scuba diving….that amazing adventure that allows us to become, for a time, witnesses of the Ocean’s magnificent splendor.
As I was exiting the Ocean after my second swim this morning, I felt Her blessing and a gurgling giggle that said…’now get back to work.’ With a push from a gentle wave I stepped out of the water.
The full moon called me to the sea. It was early this morning, before the sun peeked out from the eastern horizon on the far side of the island.
As I approached the steps to go down to the seaside patio, the moon glade of silver light on Ocean was so strong and powerful it was as if I was descending the stairs of Poseidon’s temple into the watery realm and could have continued on that silver path to reach the island across the way to places of magic and wonder beyond and beneath the surface.
Where are my mermaid scales? My tail? I feel so trapped by this mortal body.
Clouds passed in front of the brilliant moon and I sat drinking in her light with my eyes. So powerful is the pull of the moon’s magic…that fat, perfectly round orb. It weaves a spell with the sea to forever bind my soul to saltwater and the Mysteries contained beneath the surface.
Even as the gray of pre-dawn light began to overtake the darkness, the moon’s light illuminated the western sky and glowed brightly over Klein Bonaire. The sound of waves gently kissing the shore reminded me of the inner cycles, the coming and going, the building and diminishing of this flesh-bound existence.
As the moon faded and daylight grew, the iguana family awakened and began staring at me. Yes…of course. I’ll go get breakfast.
I returned with honeydew melon and my camera. The container of melon was rushed as soon as I placed it on the concrete so I sat and chatted with my spiked-out friends as they breakfasted. They struck a few poses as my camera sat beside them so I got some really detailed shots of their best iguana-selves.
Once finished, they all turned to face the sea. I’ve noticed they do this and have wondered…what is the reason? Today I might have figured it out. A guy who swims laps each morning between two resorts passed and they all rushed to watch him. They either expect him to become dinner some day or they are telling secret iguana jokes about him. Either way it’s pretty hilarious stuff. Iguanas…what are you gonna do with them?
This shore, the elements of salt, sea, moon, tides…wildlife like my octopus friends, sea turtle friends, tarpon friends…the porcupine fish that actually got to know me and follows me when I dive….the squid that liked playing with my dome port….all of these things create a love affair with this place that will beckon me to return again and again.
As I sat on the concrete conversing with the iguanas during breakfast, I reflected back to a conversation with a girl and her family at dinner last night. After listening to some of my wildlife stories she said, “Simone, you know why the animals come to you don’t you? It’s because you love them so much.” Tears came as my heart melted. Yes, sweet friend. This is true. This is why I write and do photography and visit schoolchildren… to share about the Ocean and all Her magnificent creatures I love so deeply, so much.
Today I read a story about two men who lost loved ones in the tsunami in Japan a few years ago. The two women, who worked at the same bank, were swept away in the huge wave and left behind a husband and a father. After the devastating event, the men decided to learn to scuba dive.
It wasn’t a recreational pastime they sought but a way to search for the women they loved. Now they regularly dive in the cold waters off the coast of Japan looking for anything they can find of their loved ones….a shoe, a purse, a dress….their physical remains.
The loss of someone close–through separation, divorce, death–is profound, deep and difficult to move beyond, especially when the love was strong. It’s been over three years for me and the love is strong and deep and the memories of our first few years together sparkle like sunbeams in my heart. Even though it was a choice we both made, the pain is no less real, the loss is no less great, than death. And it was a death…of us as partners.
