Tag: love

Years Pass, Love Remains

Years Pass, Love Remains

dadThirty-two years ago my father transitioned from his physical body. He was in his early forties and had been sick for many years. The memories of him seem distant now, faded like old photographs.

I was a senior at Auburn, my brother still in high school when he died. I remember my grandfather telling me, years later, that he wished he could have gone before daddy because the grief was so terrible. He said even worse than that of losing his spouse…our grandmother…after over 60 years of marriage.

When someone we love leaves, a hole is left in our being. No matter the cause or how long the illness lasts or if it is sudden, losing someone is difficult, it’s painful and we’re left behind trying to make sense of life.

Part 4 Image 14 (2)At my daughter’s wedding this past summer I thought of how my father would have loved seeing Emily and Kevin get married. He never got to meet Emily….or her cousins. Or see me graduate from college.

The morning of my college graduation I woke up before everyone else and felt my father there….strongly. I had no doubt he had come to congratulate me. It was only six months after he had passed.

With Christmas being 15 days after his passing, less than two weeks after his funeral, none of us felt in the spirit; however, mom and my brother came to Auburn, where I lived at the time, and we celebrated the holiday as best we could. It was a difficult Christmas.

In an illness that is lengthy and mysterious and debilitating as was my dad’s, all the attention is placed on on the patient, the one that is sick. And of course that makes sense. But the hero in my father’s struggles was my mother. She managed to work a demanding, stressful job at the post office, put one kid through college and help the other graduate from high school during the worst of dad’s illness. That’s what parents have to do isn’t it? Keep on going for their children.

Part 1 Image 27 (14)We never really talked about his illness and at the time there wasn’t much available as far as family counseling, grief counseling. Each of us did the best we could. My grandfather and other men cared for my father while mom was at work, when he got too sick to be alone. I was at Auburn, Lance in high school. And mom juggled it all.

When I got the call that he had passed, I had just finished my final exams the day before. Mom had gotten new tires on her car, at his request. I supposed he was tending to those last details, exercising what little control he had, remaining in his body until he could slip away peacefully, his mind at ease, his family as prepared as could be.

simonelipscomb (1)I’m not sure I’ve ever thanked my mother for being such a strong force during those years. I am so grateful for her strength and dedication to my father, to our family. So while I think of my father, it’s my mother I want to remember especially today. And thank her for everything she did for us…and continues to do.

Wille Fay

Wille Fay

photoMeet Willie Fay. Her story touched my heart and I couldn’t help but invite her into my home.

Over three months ago Willie and two other cats were tied together using plastic zip ties and secured to a veterinary clinic’s door. Two survived this strange ordeal. Supposedly the owner’s wife had died and he couldn’t keep the cats. Seemed a drastic way to find help for them but regardless, the vet clinic had them for three months when my mother stopped by to purchase meds for her aging labrador, Sambo.

She told me of meeting the sweetest, cutest cat and related the story. The next day she and I stopped by the clinic. I didn’t need another cat but I felt compelled to meet the little one. She was sweet-natured with colors that were wild and oddly placed…probably the reason she wasn’t already adopted.

I had another appointment that day but asked them to get her ready (shots, check-up, etc) and I’d be back later that afternoon to take her home.

photo 3The cat friends that live with me were not over-joyed at their new sister but then cats rarely like change–especially when it involves sharing with other cats. Stanley warmed up to her very quickly with minimal hissing and now, three weeks later, they are best friends. They create general chaos and mayhem as a team. Gracie has just now realized she doesn’t have to hiss to claim her place on the porch or in the doorway. So things are good in our home now.

Willie got her name from a great super-group of musicians called Willie Sugarcapps. For a couple of days I didn’t know what to call her. She was still very anxious but super-friendly with me. I was working at my desk and listening to the Willie Sugarcapps album and my new buddy climbed up on the recliner and fell asleep…blissfully, soundly asleep. She was so relaxed and so at-peace for the first time since coming to live with me I decided her name was Willie. Her middle name is for my mom, for finding her. It’s my mother’s middle name (don’t tell mom I told you).

photo 4Willie Fay is a wonderful companion. She follows me, talks to me, enjoys time on the screened porch and always appears grateful, sweet, kind…and wild. Please join me in welcoming her to a home of love, a home where she will be treasured and appreciated as a valuable friend.

If you can, please share love today…with an animal, child, adult, elder, place. There is always room for more love to be given.

 

 

 

To Listen, To Connect….To Love

To Listen, To Connect….To Love

800_4167It was below freezing when I arrived at the farm. Frost dusted delicate tendrils of dried wildflowers in open fields and glistened in the early-morning light. Everything it touched was transformed with crystalline beauty.

Many years ago I stopped bringing live trees into my home for Christmas. Instead I purchased a fake tree manufactured in China….made of plastic. Three years ago I made the decision to support local tree farmers and remove the toxic tree from my life. I realized that trees raised on farms support local farmers and can be recycled. I also thought that when harvested and put in a place of honor, they are fulfilling their destiny. But being a sensitive soul I have to harvest consciously–with appreciation and love….with tenderness.

800_4116Weeks ago I planned the excursion to Boyd Mountain Tree Farm in Waynesville, North Carolina. I would be visiting my friends in Asheville over Thanksgiving so the fraser fir farm would be on my way home. When I made the decision to invite a living tree into my home, it was Boyd Mountain that called me. I was living in Asheville at the time so it was an easy morning’s outing then. The lovely energy of the land as well as the family and staff that cares for the trees stayed in my mind so I was excited to visit once more.

Last year I went to a local tree farm near my home in coastal Alabama but found out, the morning after bringing the Leyland Cypress into my home, that I was allergic to it and had to drag it, fully decorated, out the French doors on to the screened porch where it remained over the holidays. It graced my courtyard with beauty but I missed the closeness of it.

mitchellblogI remember vividly the smell of fraser firs when I would drive up to Mount Mitchell or other high elevations along the Blue Ridge Parkway for sunrise photography excursions. The intoxicating aroma was amazing and I felt changed, altered from it. Scents can do that and each of us has special ones that trigger delightful memories. For me, the smell takes me back to North Carolina and I see myself standing on a high ridge overlooking mountains with fog-filled valleys. The air is crisp and I feel as if I have wings that are strong and can carry me anywhere life calls me to go.

800_4131Many emotions filled me on the frosty walk up the mountain at the tree farm. Early morning sunlight filtered through dark green branches, some still dusted with snow. The beauty touched me deeply. I felt intense gratitude for the trees and those who care for them. The frozen earth, hard beneath my boots, seemed to pull me up and up as I was drawn further into the lush limbs that reached out to brush me as I walked past.

Rather than look for a ‘perfect’ tree I simply opened my heart and listened. Letting my mind quieten, I was guided to a snow-covered tree and knew it was the one when tears began to trickle down my face. I didn’t choose the tree, it chose me. I felt the connection strongly.

800_4119I gently touched its soft, snow-covered needles and offered gratitude and a blessing for the sacrifice it was making. But very clearly I heard in my mind that fulfilling a destiny requires a sacrifice. Later I pondered the idea and realized we sacrifice our ego, a direction we were headed, a relationship, a place of residence, a job, or any number of ‘things’ as we move through life, honoring our path.

Perhaps Christmas trees have a sense of their purpose as they grow in long rows hugging the mountain. Maybe they feel the joyful emotions of children and adults who weave trails across the slope. I wonder if they know something special awaits. Do they swoon a bit after being cut and then awaken later to find something similar to the stars of heaven resting on their branches, sometimes in bright colors. And maybe then, on some level of tree consciousness, they recognize the fulfillment of their destiny as they stand as the focal point of joy and love in their chosen home.

1412515_10152027915954214_382559382_oWhen we open ourselves fully to life, we cannot help but fulfill our ever-unfolding destiny. Perhaps it isn’t one, final event that gives evidence of success in life but each step along the way, each opportunity we take to open our hearts to listen, to connect….to love.

photo

Some facts about farm-grown Christmas trees:

-They are grown on American family farms and make an important economic contribution to many rural communities.

-One acre of Christmas trees provides the daily oxygen requirement for 18 people. There are 500,000 acres of Christmas trees grown in the U.S. which collectively provide oxygen for 9 million people each day. Young, fast-growing trees release more oxygen than mature forest trees.

-For every tree harvested, another one is planted to ensure a steady supply.

-Christmas tree farms support wildlife such as turkey, quail, songbirds, rabbits and deer.

-Christmas trees are an all-American renewable, recyclable resource. They can be chipped for mulch and used for building dunes at beaches.

800_4160

Building Walls or Building Bridges?

Building Walls or Building Bridges?

wallWalls of steel…walls of stone…..wooden walls…walls of fog…icy walls…emotional walls. To protect….set apart…keep safe…isolate…obscure.

Who among us hasn’t constructed a wall of some sort? Perhaps a wall in a home to provide protection from the elements or to create space within the home for privacy. Perhaps a storage room or garage wall to keep property safe. Walls are an important part of our lives. Sometimes they are the only thing between survival and death.

We construct inner walls as well. Many times these are erected in childhood when we’ve been harmed and we do this to protect that deep, sacred part of us to insure it doesn’t get wounded, scarred…annihilated. It starts out as an intelligent, survival skill but as we mature that structure becomes a liability that cuts us off from the world and usually from the people that love us the most.

One of the saddest things to witness is a person who refuses to deconstruct such walls and therefore creates a tighter and tighter corner in which to exist. If people in that person’s life act outside a very narrowly defined behavioral spectrum, his or her walls push them away and they are exiled forever. No amount of love can penetrate such rigid structures.

The perception is filtered through old wounds that fester like poison within and keep joy and true contentment from being accessible. And while I have witnessed such tragedy individually, microcosmically, I see this on a macrocosmic scale in how one political party relates to another; how our country relates to other countries and even how we relate to the planet.

The basis of all of this wall-building? Fear.

The Course in Miracles states: What is not love is fear. Over 28 years ago I read that statement and have pondered it. I see the absolute wisdom behind those simple words.

bridgesI believe it is time to deconstruct walls. Inner walls erected between individuals, communities, political parties, countries…the planet. If we aren’t coming from a place of love then we are coming from fear. Is this really how we want to live? Can we make positive changes in relationships, communities, countries…on the planet if we continue to base our behaviors on fear? Look around and the answer is evident.

If we must build anything let us build bridges from my heart to yours, from yours to others, from community to community, political party to political party…country to country….human hearts to the planetary heart. Who knows…when we meet in the center of the bridge most wondrous things can happen. When we choose to come from our hearts instead of our wounds miracles are birthed.

simonelipscomb (25)

How to Change the World

How to Change the World

Over a year ago I moved back to the Gulf Coast and at that time made the decision to delete television from my life. Unhooked from commercials and advertisements the freedom from bombarding marketing of one kind or another has been amazing. But I did want some way to watch movies, old television programs and documentaries so I opted to subscribe to Netflix.

simonelipscomb (1)

I enjoy a bit of mindless entertainment from time to time; however, tonight I watched a program that quite literally changed my life.

In searching the ‘recently added’ programs I found, I Am. It is a documentary film created by a movie director who was in a cycling accident and during his recovery decided to ask two important questions: 1) What is wrong with the world; 2) What is the answer?

simonelipscomb

Many wise people were interviewed and scientific evidence was presented and demonstrated. My excitement grew as I watched. This movie answered many questions I’ve had over the past few months. I encourage interested folks to watch for themselves but here are a few key components.

First, it has been proven that our moods affect living systems around us. They showed how a person’s emotional energy impacted bacteria (living organisms) as measured by a change in electrical field. Simple organisms are affected by how we behave. I’ve been laughed at for hugging trees…of course that didn’t stop me…and now I know my love and appreciation for them is, on some level, felt. Can you imagine the possibilities? Studies done years ago about talking to your house plants and playing beautiful music helps them grow. The film showed yet another study that gave proof on how we can positively affect the world around us if we live with the intention to do so?

simonelipscomb (2)

Conversely, if we practice anger and hate think what we are doing to those around us…and the planet…all living systems. Learning to cultivate compassion and love has never been so important. Letting go of negative emotions and thoughts has never been so necessary.

It was also shown in the film how we are not really separate. We are all connected. Have you ever had someone in your life and you knew something was going on with them even though you hadn’t talked in weeks….months? You just knew? Or you dreamed about them emailing you and when you awaken there’s an email…after months of not hearing from them. Love connects us. We are not separated by miles or time.

Another interesting point made by the film is the fact that we are wired, via our DNA, to have compassion and be cooperative. We have the potential to be violent and aggressive; however, we are hard-wired to love and help one another. Not just humans are genetically programmed to be cooperative, but many animals are as well.

In one study scientists set up cameras on fields where a herd of red deer grazed. They wanted to find out which deer led the herd to watering holes. Over and over again they watched in fascination as, one-by-one, the deer would raise their heads and look toward a watering hole. When the number of deer reached 51% of the herd the entire herd, as a group, simply wandered to the water. Unspoken consensus. Democracy in action.

simonelipscomb (8)

Perhaps the most important idea I took away from the film was the fact that every act of kindness, compassion, good will we do is truly felt and therefore makes a positive difference. This is especially vital to understand as we live in a time of great unrest and fear as the ecosystems of our planet undergo intense changes due to climate change, where economic problems grow and tensions between citizens of all countries increase. Stepping away from conflict, practicing compassion and love for an animal, a place, a neighbor….it makes a difference!

Now is not the time to give up. It is the time to love boldly, act bravely through compassion and joy. This is how we change the world.

simonelipscomb (9)