love Archives - Page 13 of 21 -

She Turns 30 Tomorrow

By Simone Lipscomb | May 12, 2015

Thirty years ago on Mother’s Day I was home with her dad experiencing early stages of labor. Two weeks over-due the little dumpling was arriving in true stubborn, Taurus, style–life lived on her terms, in her time. But when Monday May 13th arrived and the hands of the clock struck high-noon, Emily took her first breath.

I remember being in my room at the hospital later that day, holding her and realizing that it was the first time I really knew what it felt like to truly love someone. That was my daughter’s gift was to me. But I heard my inner, intuitive voice for the first time and it said: “You will never see her grow up.” So paired with the deep feeling of love was an immediate terror of something happening to this precious human I held in my arms.

Witnessing her grow into a feisty, wild child I was assured she could take care of herself. I allowed her to choose her clothes from a very early age. Her love of wearing large polka dots and stripes horrified my mother. Years later, when she was graduating from Auburn and fussing over her clothes matching exactly, I smiled at my mother and reminded her that Emily turned out just fine in the fashion realm.

She went from playing soccer as a five year old with shin guards that covered almost her entire legs and where the kids moved as one group of tiny ants to a high school player whose team negotiated complicated maneuvers…at least they were to me. I still don’t know soccer rules. I recall her being pushed to the ground and breaking her wrist in a high school game. My mother bear instincts had to be tempered as I sat helplessly in the stands watching her suffer.

Never did I have to ask if she did her homework…never. Not even in kindergarten. Emily was a self-starter and whizzed through school, including courses like calculus that she thought were fun and I thought of as foreign language from another planet. Her degree in Microbiology from Auburn amazed me, the mom who loved writing and photography…thankfully no calculus was needed in my degrees from Auburn.

Then two years ago my little girl got married to a wonderful guy. The time leading up to the wedding, the actual event and afterwards I spent much time reflecting on our lives. I realized I never really saw her grow up.

Thankfully the inner voice’s message that was heard the day she was born wasn’t referring to her physical life. What I missed was the day-to-day triumphs of her growth and becoming. Not because I wasn’t there but because I didn’t see.

Perhaps as parents we become too involved in surviving financially or emotionally to notice the really important stuff. I know I contributed to her life and was a good mom, but everyday stresses distracted me from being the mom I wanted to be for her.

A child of a thousand questions who always wanted to know more about everything and every situation she encountered, Emily’s birth launched me onto a path of deep, personal growth. Her gift to me was showing me that I could love deeply. My gift to her was showing her that nothing is more important than becoming the light we are born to be…and doing whatever inner work is necessary to find it.

She turns thirty tomorrow and it seems like yesterday she was born….my daughter, my teacher.

Enfolded

By Simone Lipscomb | May 3, 2015

The full moon hanging low in the pre-dawn sky lit the cool, white sand of the wildlife refuge. The path led me along the boundary of a nesting area of least terns down to the edge of the Gulf. Crisp air caressed my face and a slight breeze stirred, barely discernible.

The still-hidden sun created a kaleidoscope of color in the east as the moon set in the western sky. Balance. Perfect balance.

I paused a moment, thankful for the quiet beauty that created such peace. The reflections created by nature opened a doorway for inner reflection and in those moments, before my sea turtle patrol began, my breath traveled deeper….deeper, deeper into the depths of inner stillness.

Walking in balance, in peace, the colors of the dawn greeted my hungry eyes. Metallic turquoise and deep orange danced in the gathering light upon the surface of the sea. My heart sang with pure joy.

The rhythm of all life pulsed in harmony and was felt with every beat of my heart. As the birth of the day quickened, a blanket of pink spread throughout the sky and I felt completely enfolded in peace and light.

Saying Goodbye to Whales

By Simone Lipscomb | April 12, 2015

April 3rd

We left our mooring on the Silver Bank early this morning and it feels as if my heart is being torn from my chest. I sit on the flying bridge listening to Whales Alive through my headphones. A rainbow arcs across the sky. So many emotions, so much love and gratitude course through me. The building music mixed with whale song and poetry narrated by Leonard Nimoy matches the graceful and powerful movements of the whales in the distance.

As our ship moves ever-closer to land I see lob tailing by a baby and mother whale. How precious to see life expressed in these gigantic gentle beings so beautifully.

Now an adult begins fin slapping with the brilliant white of the fifteen foot long pectoral fins acting as beacons of light against the cloudy sky. It was as if two angel wings reached for the heavens and each thunderous slap on the Ocean’s surface a call…but for the whale I am unsure of the meaning. For me each fin slap is an explosion of energy and a reminder, “See this! Hear me! Pay attention! Goodbye! Thanks for visiting! Come again!”

Off in the distance a whale is breaching repeatedly…over and over and over…joy exploding from the depths and I am sobbing now. The music of Paul Winter builds as the whale song crescendos and I find myself lost in a world of music of humans and whales. Such harmony, such power.

Flying fish glide silver against the indigo, liquid light of the Ocean. They go bouncing from wave to wave, sailing through troughs of the moving sea. Such beauty.

This experience of being with my humpback sisters and brothers has taken me to a place within myself that is deep and silent, still. After a week with whales I still find myself at a loss for words for the depths of emotions they have brought forth from my depths. I don’t know how I will integrate this week with my life. Of this I’m sure, I am changed. Transformed.

The sky at the horizon is light blue and grows in intensity of blue as my gaze wanders upwards. Small, white clouds dot the sky–puffy delights of cottony, flat-based moisture-laden beings.

I hear a shout from the bow. DOLPHINS!

I carefully hurry down the two flights of stairs to find several of my two-legged friends from the past week cheering as 10 spotted dolphins ride our bow wake. We stand and gaze over the side and watch the acrobatics of these sleek and lovely creatures as they leap, surf and frolic. This lifts us all as each of us has expressed feelings of sadness at our magical time together with whales and each other comes to an end.

It feels as if my life suddenly makes sense but I have no idea where it goes from here. I simply know that something is happening that was unlocked that came from surrender to childhood dreams. Perhaps as children we remember the path we dreamed with angels, while floating in that amniotic sea.

The song of the humpback called me many years ago and finally I heard it in real time, in person. It is my intention to listen deeper to what they are singing. Not with a scientific mind but with the eyes of my heart.

——–

Even though words frustrated me as I wrote each day of my experiences with humpback whales, I hope in some way I was able to convey to those interested readers the sacredness of this experience. It is my desire to return often as a friend and support to the whales that call the Silver Bank home…and to think of them daily with respect and love.

Special thanks to Tom Conlin whose dedication to the humpbacks of the Silver Banks helps them remain safe and protected in their calving and breeding waters. And to his crew of Aquatic Adventures.… Lorenzo, Denise, Brandt and Lisa thank you!! And to the Crew of the Turks & Caicos Explorer II…JF, Mark, Jane, Pipa, and Mia thank you!!

Rainbow Thursday–Part One

By Simone Lipscomb | April 10, 2015

I awakened around 5am and climbed to the upper deck of the boat to await the dawn. A dark rain cloud was hovering in the eastern sky and a wall of rain soon began to move across the Ocean toward the boat. I moved down to the first level which is covered but open on the sides. The loud shuuuu sound of the rain on the sea was beautiful music.

Past the small boats that were tied behind the mothership I saw a fluke slap the surface…then another…and another! And then a baby fluke appeared beside the mother whale and joined in the tail-slapping fun. It was obvious the juvenile was still learning as the control of the large fluke was a bit wobbly.

A couple was standing just inside the salon of the boat so I ran to get them. The whales were pretty close to us. I commented, “There’s got to be a rainbow with the sunrise and the clouds.” Suddenly a brilliant rainbow appeared in the sky, arched over the mother and calf and the calf breached. We looked at each other in disbelief.

The whales continued their lob tailing, fin slapping and the juvenile played in the rainbow as the pastel colors kissed the surface of the sea. I was thankful there were others to witness this phenomena as who would believe this? One of the crew members, who was summoned to the otherworldly event by this invitation: “There’s a baby whale playing in a rainbow,” later said “Who says that?” Exactly. Who says...there’s a baby whale playing in a rainbow?

After people wandered away I stepped down on the dive platform so I could see the full arch of the rainbow. The mother and baby humpbacks were still there, but quiet now, coming up to breathe and then resting. Their white, misty exhalations a stark contrast to the dawn sky.

As I stood level with the Ocean, saltwater washing over my feet, I felt the immensity of this vision. Not just the vision of this incredible experience but the vision that guided me here, to this place…to this life. The support of those unseen forces that guide my life wrapped around me powerfully. I could quite literally feel their touch. And from unseen realms I heard clearly: “Your work is supported, your life is guided. This is the promise we give…you will always have our support.”

Remnants of the rainbow linger as I sit, writing about this experience. The mother whale and her baby just surfaced and exhaled. The mist from their breath lifted upward into the soft, pastel colors of promise. The Crystal River trip in January comes to mind where I was making a voice memo about following my dreams and the intense rainbow appeared…and the cross-street, Follow That Dream Parkway. Meeting the marine biologist who operates a humpback whale research station in Tonga who planted the idea and reminded me of my life dream to be with whales. This all seems so surreal. Rainbows and whales and life dreams.

Mom and baby whale are still there, literally at the end of the rainbow. And I know with certainty that I am guided, supported and loved, beyond anything I can imagine. I am so incredibly grateful.

Note: I didn’t have my camera on deck when the whales were playing in the rainbow. And I didn’t want to risk missing a moment of the experience to run downstairs to get it. These images are from later in the day with a mother and calf…I think it was the same one as this behavior continued for a long time. Regardless…the magic of it still moves me. And the rest of the day was amazing…stay tuned.

Permission for Passion

By Simone Lipscomb | February 9, 2015

The sea spoke to me this morning. For the second day I visited Her to connect, to pray, to ask for a vision. As the chilly, salt water caressed my ankles and splashed my legs, blue water peace filled me and insight came.

Last night was melt-down time. The actions of the past two weeks of forward direction, financial pay-out to that forward direction and future possibilities stood around me. They were like wild flames encircling me…a lot of money has gone out of my account and it scared me. Doubt began to rough me up and shake me. It was not a fun evening.

Arguments for proceeding through the opening echoed in my mind while voices of fears screamed. It would be safe to say that Monkey Mind was loose and gave a wild ride. Just shut the F**** up! All of you!!! Just shut up!!!

After wrestling with some old negative messages and emotions for hours yesterday, I managed to sleep and awakened to Willie Fay cat’s insistence to go onto the screened porch. It was barely light so I hurriedly dressed and grabbed my camera and headed toward the Gulf. If the next part of my life is going to be focused on the Ocean, then I wanted to connect with Her and feel my toes in salt water. And see if answers would come.

A few weeks ago the opening doors left little doubt of the next steps in life but on this side of the events, I began to feel fear. I’ve invested a lot of money into my work, with little financial return and I felt guided to lay out more big money for gear as well as for two more books. No question about doing it. The point of struggle was the fact that former work hasn’t paid for itself even though the message is well-received and appreciated by those who read my books or see my photographs.

I started to doubt my sanity for investing further in the work that is about healing environmental and societal hurts. The money I have saved will, at some point, be used up. Wouldn’t a wise woman with no retirement plan save that money and just forget her dream of making a positive difference on the planet? That’s such a lofty goal anyway.

The message I received from the sea was this: I am breaking free of old, societal conditioning. As I take this next big step those old voices of fear arise. I don’t want to be a prisoner to them. I want to live my life dedicated fully to helping…the ocean, people, ocean creatures. I want to be a bridge between nature and humans. I can’t do that if I hide in fear.

Today I had a vague memory of myself as a child being so afraid that I had caused something to happen because I had wished for it. I recognized, even then, that we have the power to create our lives and it scared me. Now I realize that we are indeed co-creating our lives by what we dwell on, what we hold in our minds.

I came to realize that I assessed value on my work by how many books sold, how many photographic prints sold and the fact that my creative efforts were not paying the bills. Thankfully, I have savings but the work of my heart has not provided for me physically. I heard an inner voice ask: Does it matter where the money comes from if it supports your work? In that moment I realized that I had placed the value of my work in the hands of others who may or may not purchase my books, my photographs. I was contemplating allowing other people determine if I continue on with the work I feel so powerful about doing. I was, in fact, giving my power away to others. A big mistake indeed for it puts brakes on my life’s work.

With the contemplation and realizations, I decided to allow myself permission to want something…allow myself to express the passion that fills me and do the work. I love the Ocean and Her creatures. It is my desire to dedicate my life to working toward creating a connection between the saltwater environments and humans…so more people will care, so the Ocean will be valued and all creatures within it respected. This is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I give myself permission to fully engage in this work and gratefully walk through open doors and follow the path that rises up to meet me. All is well…and all will be well. I know this to be true.

What passion is calling you? What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Beginning today…in this moment?