Tag: LIGHTWORK
Lasting Treasure

Lasting Treasure

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Some times I find myself working too hard to figure things out. That’s been the case with my feeling of stuck-ness that has lasted for five years. Sure I’ve written books, taken really nice photographs resulting from amazing travels, possibly even contributed to the awakening happening on our planet…but I’ve just not been able to find a steady rhythm of forward momentum. For an Aries, a trail-blazer, it’s almost unbearable. Shouldn’t I be doing SOMETHING more!?!?

I came across some guidance the other day that basically said I need time to withdraw and contemplate after the breakup of a relationship I thought was my happily-ever-after. (That break-up was over five years ago). It said to rest and grow strong, retreat from life. I was reminded of The Hermit, the archetype that withdraws and consolidates and visualizes the pattern of destiny, the Will of the Spirit.

It’s not a daily sadness or even missing him but a daily remembering of the good times when two people vow to share their lives. I’ve done the healing of grief and sadness but haven’t been able to move out of the stuck place. So in meditation I asked what I was missing in the situation, thus the guidance. How does one create a new vision of life when the path seemed so beautiful and clear with another person? Or job….or home….or child…or planet.

Then I thought, it’s not just ‘him.’ I planned on the the ocean and rivers and mountains and shores being healthy…dolphins, whales, sea turtles, manatees….I’m not just trying to find a way forward from a man I loved, I am trying to find footing on a planet that is in peril. What if everything I have taken for granted and loved deeply disappears? This is the big existential question looming and creating a major pause in my skipping along the merry path. It’s more than just a man…isn’t it always?

Thirty-two years ago I consciously stepped on to a spiritual path seeking truth and searching for meaning. There have been so many times along the way I wished I could forget what I had learned about myself, about the world around me and return to ignorant bliss; however, somewhere along the way I realized clearing out the old ‘yuck’ and healing old, unhealthy patterns of behavior was slowly allowing me to experience deeper joy, stronger peace that lasted longer with each step up the ladder. As my wholeness increased I became more aligned with work that held meaning and felt inspired by my heart.

Photograph Summer 2010…Shell Oil

When the BP Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill occurred I was living in Asheville with my husband. That moment….April 20th, 2010…called me to service. It was my personal wake-up call/invitation to fully commit my time and resources to raising awareness of the beauty of nature and the brokenness that exists between humans and nature…and the importance of restoring the awareness of Oneness of all life. Oddly enough, that was the beginning of the end of my marriage….the unraveling had started but it was the deep call to service that ultimately pulled us apart…him to Iraq, me to coastal Alabama.

Photograph I took Summer 2010. It reminds me of a woman’s body and so I call it the Rape of Mother Earth

I reported the oil when it first washed ashore in the Bon Secour National Wildlife Refuge on the Gulf of Mexico. I sat there and wept as waves of chocolate-colored, benzene-smelling crude oil and dispersant made landfall on the sugar white beaches. My world fell apart. I couldn’t believe humans could do this to a planet. It’s one thing to see it reported on the news and quite another to smell it, feel it, and watch the destructiveness as it creeps along killing everything it its path.

Gulf State Park Summer 2010

I haven’t broken my relationship with nature but humans have, as a whole, broken the bond of Oneness, the realization that whatever we do to nature, we do to ourselves.

How does one move forward with the awareness of such brokenness?

Perhaps it begins by taking time to listen to the Path of Destiny, to form a new vision by taking a break. By asking what the Will of Spirit is preparing as I surrender more to my heart’s calling.

While cycling this morning a David Wilcox song (Deeper Still) came on my playlist and the lyrics really spoke to me, not just about my former beloved but about the path of service. Often these thoughts come…Have I wasted my time and resources? Am I on the right trajectory? What was I thinking? This song was my answer…. “In this life the love you give becomes the only lasting treasure.”

In the tears you gave to me
I found a river to an ocean.
Concrete sky and a stone cold sea
Came to where the emptiness cracked open.

Then all my fears came crashing through
And met the fire of my sorrow.
But I found my strength in forgiving you.
I never even knew how far my heart could go.

I live my life beyond each death
From the deeper well of trust.
To know that when there’s nothing left
You will always have what you gave to love.

In this life the love you give
Becomes the only lasting treasure.
So that what you lose will be what you win.
A well that echoes down too deep to measure.

Every bit of love I have given along my path is my greatest treasure….a well too deep to measure.
You Open Me

You Open Me

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The Gulf has been calling me lately and so my cycling mornings have included a visit to Her as the sun rises over the sugar-white sand dunes. This morning on my journey to Her, a song came on my playlist that took me deeper into the magic of the morning.

“So sublime, this meeting, you and I. So beautiful that sparkle in your eye.” Just as I passed a freshwater canal leading to the big lake in the state park the sparkle of the Divine reflected off of the water’s surface. I stopped to take in the moment and breathe deeply with Her.

“I see you. You see me. Makes me realize how tragically rare and wonderful is this scene. I treasure this moment however long. It’s teaching me maybe I don’t need to be so strong….You open me….You open me….You open me.”

As I continued listening and humming along, my heart opened and tears came. How precious is this moment….this time in relationship with Mother Earth, the physical expression of the Divine. I broke open. The thought came, we never really know how much we love someone until they are gone from our lives. And then…we never really know how much we love this planet until it begins to die….bit by beautiful bit.

Over the boardwalk my tires thumped until I reached the beach. Metallic turquoise water and soft, pink skies reached out to me and I laughed out loud at the sacred beauty.

“I love that you are a being, magically. It’s so lonely sometimes being me. It’s what we all wish for and need. So precious this moment, to be seen….devastatingly beautiful….humanity.  You open me…you open me…..you open me.”

I pushed the replay button and stood feeling the cool air kissing me as the music played. “I treasure this moment however long. It’s teaching me maybe I don’t need to be so strong.” And as I sang along, two dolphins appeared within a few feet of the shoreline.  I walked my bike on the soft sand to the water’s edge and stood laughing with unbounded joy as the dolphins continued feeding a bit further offshore.

As I clapped and sang my gratitude they jumped completely out of the water three times. “You open me…you open me…you open me. Sita ram….sita ram….sita ram.”

Sita ram is a mantra that invokes the energy of the divine couple, a perfect balance of masculine and feminine energy, a balance of the left and right sides of the brain. As I stood watching the dolphins swim west, I found deep calm and balance as I opened to Mother Ocean, Mother Earth and the sacred dance we share.

You Open Me…a lovely song by Jim Beckwith performed by him and Hans Christian that helps me open to the magnificent beauty of our Ocean Planet….and the light that shines through all willing to be a channel.
Drumming Under Stars

Drumming Under Stars

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Once a month, those so inclined join together along the shore of the narrow headwaters of the Magnolia River to drum. We have a unifying intention of unity and peace.

Last night there were only four of us but the evening was powerful. Stars overhead called us to connect with each other, our ancestors and nature…to reach out with open hearts and minds to the Cosmic Mind, God, Source, Greater Good…whatever you might label the Creative Source.

As we shared before the drumming began, each felt a sense of powerlessness over the situation of our planet, our country and the many global ills. For those of us less likely to be outwardly active and vocal along the front lines of change, we discussed the idea of devoting 30 minutes a day doing the energy work of our choice directing positive energy to the cause that tugs at our heart strings. Interestingly, this was a theme that had surfaced for us individually and as we came together, the idea took on larger proportions.

Meditation, prayer, dance, singing, drumming, creating music, practicing yoga with intention….whatever a person’s method for generating positive juju. For me, it’s using crystal singing bowls, flutes and later this week, a large gong will find its way into the healing space. By setting aside time and space and creating an intention of sending good vibes to the recipient of choice, we are doing something to make a difference.

Everyone can do thirty minutes a day. This is our planet, our country. It’s worth the time and effort. And the most incredible thing is this:  in the process we open our hearts and minds and therefore, heal our own lives as we send love and light to others. Amazing how that works!

I am considering adding a page to my website with a map. Every time someone lets me know they are participating I’ll add a pin. The idea is still forming.

Today I dedicated thirty minutes of sound healing to whales. Who might you devote thirty minutes of your day to?

For the women who gathered last night and stood beneath the stars drumming, thank you! May we dance in starlight always!

 
The Cloak

The Cloak

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On the outcropping of dark rock I wonder—is this sea, sky or starry heavens? It appears as one magnificent space of endless potential.

The cloak I wear grows heavy. I know advantages of hiding and know the prison invisibility can become. Too much of a good thing.

Was it fear of trying or weariness from trying so many times that made this vestment so inviting, so safe.

It’s not that I’ve been idle during my exile. Many wondrous creations came from these depths. But the cloak is so heavy, so confining, so concealing….and suffocating.

So I stand at the end of what I have known–unwilling to go back, unwilling to stay in this realm of ghosts.

My hands rip the shroud. I glance down. Starlight peeks from its folds. Sweet water sings over pebbles and shells.

In stillness I stand as the weight begins to ease. My arms lift in joy. I step forward into the Abyss. Up and up I rise on wings of light, each feather created by a piece of tattered cloak.