LIGHTWORK Archives - Page 10 of 22 -

A Sensitive Heart

By Simone Lipscomb | October 13, 2013

“I have sea foam in my veins, for I understand the language of waves.” Le Testament d’Orphee is a movie I’ve never seen but this quote from it touches me deeply. It was quoted in an article I read this morning during my hammock time with my ginger cat, Stanley. It was a piece about sensitive souls…the traits and behaviors…the feelings. As I read it a mirror to my soul seemed to open. FINALLY! There are others out there. (Deep sigh).

My first memory of my inner life being at odds with the outer world was when I was about eight years old. My father and I were watching a movie about an old man who saved up hard-earned money to purchase a pane of glass for the only window in his shack. He installed it and it had only been in place for a brief time when his mule kicked a bucket that went crashing into the window–which shattered. The man beat the mule. I cried and my father laughed at me for crying. He asked why I was crying. For the mule, for being beaten, of course. It was then that I begin to learn that my sensitive heart was in for a rough ride.

The article states, “You absorb sensation the way a paintbrush grasps each color it touches on a palette. The ethereal beauty of a dandelion, the shift of a season, the climax of a song, or the scent of a certain fragrance can sometimes move you to tears…Basically this means if you are sensitive, you have the ability to see colors and feel energy the way others hear jet planes.” Victoria Erickson, the writer, goes on to quote research that says sensitive souls make up about 20% of the population. People who are super-sensitive have nervous systems that respond easily to stimuli which can be overwhelming and exhausting. “Sometimes your sensitivity makes life extraordinarily painful and you want to shut down and hide your raw self from the loud chaos that accompanies this earth’s continual rotation.”

Victoria lists six ways to stay balanced….create, enjoy the company of animals, seek out water, recognize what is only your energy and emotion (its easy to absorb other’s energy), surround yourself with people that understand your nature and nurture that connection, retreat, replenish and rejuvenate. Her advice was so good that I saved the article to my desktop so I can review regularly.

After I finished reading I sat in the hammock chair with my cat buddy and pondered the eye-opening information. There have been many times I have been laughed at, made fun of, and generally put-down because I am sensitive. And I know there are others who have experienced this treatment. When this happens we close down, little-by-little. Our experience of the world narrows as we deny the very ability we have that feeds and nurtures us.

When my daughter was born, I begin to reawaken to the part of myself I had closed off, lost even, through my childhood, adolescence and young adult life. Her arrival into my life was a catalyst that pushed me onto my spiritual path and steered me deeper into my heart. When she was born I suddenly knew what it was like to truly love someone.

Everything didn’t change overnight. It takes an immense amount of work to learn to stay open to the beauty around us and not close down when the rest of the world seems to not notice. There were many, many rocky years and times when the dichotomy, of what I knew to be my truth and what the world told me my truth was, was difficult to sort out. I carry many battle scars.

About eleven years ago I reached a very low point in my life when things literally fell apart around me. It was as if everything I cared for shattered and shifted and I was left feeling completely beaten down and also, oddly enough, feeling incredibly open. At that time a man came into my life that helped nurture me so that I could put my life back together, in a more harmonious way. His was a sensitive heart, even though he didn’t like to admit it. The light he shined into my life helped me believe that I could be myself and live fully. At first he kidded me about talking to trees but before our relationship ended, I caught him talking to trees….although he would most likely deny that now.

I was blessed to have someone who believed in me, that stood beside me as I lifted myself out of the rubble of my life.

What does the world do to a sensitive heart? How do we survive the challenges, the fears, the chaos we encounter simply by living on this planet? This fragile beauty, this light within us can be so easily destroyed, snuffed out. The magnificence of a sensitive soul can be chased into hiding by the stresses of daily life. This, to me, is the greatest loss we all experience. When we lose our brothers and sisters whose sensitive hearts and souls bless this place, then truly we have lost great treasures. I know there are many whose light has been diminished or hidden by the stresses of life. May we reach out in understanding and love and stand with them as they work to find peace and wholeness.

When these lights go into hiding it’s not simply a personal loss, but a planetary loss. We need more people now than ever before who are in touch with their hearts and in communion with the beauty..and who are unafraid to show it. May we support each other always in finding and staying connected to our true selves.

Change

By Simone Lipscomb | October 12, 2013

The sky was completely dark and I thought it must be 9pm. Time to curl up with a good book. Alas, it was merely 7.30 and once again the realization of seasonal change…. and change in general…. came to mind and became my meditation as I sat in my hammock swing on the back porch and listened.

The moon shone timidly through the grandmother oak’s massive branches and leaves as she spread her protective embrace over my home. Stars twinkled, bashful and fleeting in their dance through the sky. Change.. movement… cycles… rhythms.

Earlier today, as I worked to complete a book a friend and I are creating together, I was writing my part of the introduction. As I listened to my heart’s message I realized I have come to a point where I am letting go of feeling personally responsible for affecting change in other’s behaviors, specifically respecting the planet and each other. It’s rather arrogant to assume I could have that affect on others anyway. But I take the care of this beautiful planet seriously and somehow felt I was supposed to write, share photographs and teach others in order to create positive change in their actions. When change wasn’t forthcoming I felt a sense of failure.

Perhaps I thought that if people understood and grasped the depth of passion and love I have for the planet they would be inspired to love and care for it as well. It was rather unrealistic to think my actions could change other’s behaviors when I struggle at times to change my own behaviors. It’s sort of like thinking that loving and expressing your love for another person will make them love you….that never works no matter how deep and profound your love is for them. Maybe it was the head-banging-against-the-wall frustration that helped me awaken to how worn out I felt by taking on this unrealistic, unreasonable responsibility. (My inner psychotherapist is clapping her hands!)

I want to be at peace and feel open to love and compassion. I can’t have those qualities of mind, of life, if I’m ‘failing miserably’ at changing the world. I see what’s happening in governments, to wild land, to wildlife, to children, to humanity….If this is still happening I must be failing at my job. Honestly, a part of me really thought that way. And I wonder if others who love the planet, put their energy into creating positive change and wish for global healing share that feeling of failure when things seem not to change.

I realize now that the real reason I’m here on Earth is simply to express the love and gratitude within for this amazing planet with endless varieties of life and to be in Communion with It. By mistakenly thinking I could actually change other’s behaviors by my actions, I put myself under major-stress and took it very personally when people didn’t care–recycle, drive more fuel-efficient vehicles, buy less stuff, turn from greed, stop polluting, use solar energy, love each other, love animals and on and on the list goes. (Gulp….my inner psychotherapist is nodding her head).

As I was writing my part of the introduction to the new book I wrote: “Sacred Marriage with the Divine through nature, through life, is the only significant goal that remains in my life.”

Seeking a clearer connection with Spirit, being a clear channel through which this Force can flow, is my only desire. Gone now is the intent to change the world for that only created a life of constant frustration…although I still dream of a better world for all life. I wish only to change myself, to open to love and light that is abundant and available always, with every breath.

As I finished editing this post, an owl landed nearby and begin hooting. Seems I’m not the only one celebrating this shift in perspective, this clarity of focus. May each of us find our own dance….and if we’re really lucky, find others who will dance with us.

Transformation

By Simone Lipscomb | September 14, 2013

I watched a movie on Netflix called, The Chosen One. It was about a man who was struggling with his life….with alcoholism, a wife who left him for a yoga instructor, and his father’s suicide that happened years ago. Three shamen from a far-away, little-known tribe came to him and told him he was chosen to help save their tribe.

He thought they were crazy but he kept having strange things happen. One was a recurring hawk dream. Even through his resistance he saw changes in his life from their presence in it. Houseplants began to flourish, all alcohol evaporated from bottles and old behaviors began to be questioned and transformed as he began to open to change.

One of the key components of him stepping into his greatness to help this tribe was self-forgiveness. You see he was drunk when he came home and found his father hanging in his garage and for years had blamed himself for his father’s death. The shamen kept purifying him with sage and rattles and prayers. He slipped into old behaviors and fell backwards…briefly…but he finally put it all together and realized what his moment of greatness entailed and he took the risk to do it. In the process of helping a hawk in real life, his past was healed.

During his act of bravery to help the hawk, the scene flashed to him finding his father in the garage and taking him down from the rope. He was able to rewrite history, in a way. He held his father in a loving, tearful embrace and his father transformed into a hawk.

What a powerful moment in life when we can, with the utmost love and respect, open our arms and allow freedom to rule.We forgive our mistakes and the mistakes of others and stand with open hearts. With no need to grasp on to the past or future, we stand in the present moment.

Self-portrait in Bonaire, N.A. "One with the Elements." — Self-portrait in Bonaire, N.A. “One with the Elements.”

Perhaps we can begin by setting ourselves free, forgiving ourselves. Then, as the shamen taught, we are free to heal the world. Healing the past can open doors of great love in the present, the future. Who knows what miracles can occur when we choose to heal our lives? It can only create more room for love. Inner change can be scary as we are moving into unchartered inner territory. The key? Simply being open to transformation.

A Healthy Dose of Nature

By Simone Lipscomb | August 27, 2013

Sometimes a bit of nature helps me find balance, especially when I have sudden and unexpected emotions pop up. Things have been going well for weeks with my heart opening with feelings of it delightfully expanding in unconditional love and all the good stuff. Then for some reason, around lunch time, it was like poof! And I felt off balance.

It’s normal to have ups and downs. Being human and living life guarantees emotional tides. But when they bounce in and jump out, like my orange boy cat trying to scare me, I don’t get it.

It was like a dark cloud hanging over me. But I went on with my day–shopping at the natural food store in Pensacola, planting veggie seeds in the garden, potting plants for the courtyard fence and I still felt weird. So I decided to head south.

Our sea turtle team has a nest very close to hatching so I drove down to the beach for sunset with my camera and tripod and visited with folks and took photographs. At one point I sat on the damp sand near the water’s edge and just allowed the motion of the waves to cleanse the cloud from around me. I sang a while to the sea and by the time I left, was feeling better. Still a bit ‘off’ but lighter.

No matter what I’m going through, a healthy dose of nature seems to make everything better.

The Good Stuff Moves Closer

By Simone Lipscomb | July 7, 2013

The past three weeks have been incredibly difficult but I’m not whining. Simply stating a fact. The frustration has been centered around my work. Some days I have considered drawing a bullseye on the wall to give a target for head-banging.

Since I began documenting the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill over three years ago, I have felt pressure to work hard to make a difference in the world. That’s always been my intention but since witnessing the devastating effects on wildlife and human life, I have been almost frantic to help raise awareness of what humans are doing to the planet.

This year I’ve been feeling the importance of documenting nature’s beauty as a way to increase passion and concern but with the same push–the panic thought that time is short, we are losing this beauty!

I’ve felt stuck lately…more than three weeks of stuck-ness. Months of it. I feel my work…the images and words….exist in a small circle of people. Appreciative and grateful people…but I’ve wondered if what I’m doing makes a difference. And the more I did, the more it felt as if I were treading ‘water’ in mud.

Two weeks ago I decided to let go and see what happened. This coincided with a question posed to me.

Each morning I light a candle, do a dedication and say a prayer. One day I specifically said, “Would you PLEASE show me what you want me to do?” Immediately and with a rush of force I heard, “What do YOU want to do?”

I stood astounded as my inner voice faded. Oh…so if I’m doing what I enjoy, it will be my best and most creative work and therefore fulfill my purpose. From that day on I have asked myself, “What do I want to do?” All through the day my work unfolds and when I focus on my website or do graphic design, or go on photography shoots it is effortless. It flows.

For the first time in many, many years I’m learning to relax and rest. When I work now it comes from my heart, not from a mental effort to push forward, to do, to make a difference, to work, work, work….because I have believed that it’s not okay to take up space unless I’m contributing. My mind loves to create things for me to do to justify my existence. But the fact is, that’s really not how it works. The more pressure I apply, the less I felt truly free to create my life’s work.

As I have stopped pushing and started breathing….living, the joy has returned. My work flows when I am in a creative mood and without the heavy hand I was using on myself, I feel lighter and more at peace than I have been since the oil spill occurred.

Joy, pleasure, happiness felt foreign to me since witnessing the spill and its effects. Slowly, I’m freeing myself from the self-imposed prison of my inner task master. As I do this the good stuff moves closer….I can FEEL it! My body vibrates with the goodness that has been waiting just out of reach. All it needed was a receptive spirit.

I am grateful.