I know I’m paying attention when I see the fine ‘hairs’ on the stems and petals of flowers. Or notice the grains of pollen resting on a petal after being released by a pollinator’s visit or a burst of March wind.
Ready to blossom
I know I’m going slow enough when I see the details of life. For it is there that I realize and become aware of the depth of beauty around me.
University of Texas Arlington photo
Once a little green snake drank from a saucer of water my partner held for it. That moment of caring for such a small creature held such tenderness, such compassion. The details of daily moments, so precious. Such treasures.
Stargazer lily
When I allow myself to look deeper, to see with eyes of a student, nature has so much to share…to teach. Such loveliness to touch.
Orchid faces….always make me smile
Orchids share their unique personalities with the details of their blossoms. Every opportunity I have to photograph them I feel lighter and happier. The faces I see in each blossom bring such joy.
Life is a little softer, a little kinder when I take time to notice the details and embrace the moments to interact with beauty that nature offers. Some of these experiences will remain in my heart throughout my life.
This is NOT representative of this morning’s behavior from my darlings.
I awakened to soft thuds overhead. Cat play on carpet. I had been dreaming of a white vulture soaring overhead and waked in the middle of the dream. I lay there half awake wondering the meaning of such an unfamiliar symbol. Heady thoughts so early in the morning and soon interrupted by the thundering of cats down the stairway.
Gracie practiced her balance beam act on the footboard while Stanley practiced his gymnastic moves above me on the headboard. The hawk screeching outside my home and the combined acrobatics of my cat companions called me to get up and check the weather forecast.
Last night I read where high winds were predicted for today so when it was quiet outside I literally ran to put on my SUP boarding shorts and shirt and was out the door before coffee. I could smell the salt marsh far upriver so the wind announced itself with gentleness, prior to anything more than a whisper. By the time I reached the downriver side of Bemis Bay the ripples began. As I rounded the corner at Washer Woman’s Point, I saw and felt the beginnings of the ‘serious’ wind…but that wasn’t what really caught my attention.
Black vulture near Crystal River, FL
Perched on a cypress tree was a beautiful vulture, wings spread, heart facing the morning sun. Her wing feathers were white and so I remembered the dream. But I had the rest of my four mile paddle to complete and lucky for me, had a downwinder on the way back up river.
My experimental wall garden..the 2 x 4’s will be painted once they are dry
The rest of the day was spent putting together a project I’ve been dreaming of for weeks–designing and building a system to grow veggies and herbs on the east side of my home. Literally…on my home. It’s very sunny there, while the rest of my yard isn’t and the garage gets very hot in the summer so I wanted to install some sort of green wall to see if it would keep my garage from boiling during July and August.
My new bromeliad friends make the courtyard an even happier place
I would rather grow flowers because I simply have a thing for them. But my farmer genes nudge me to try my hand once again at growing food. My dad and grandfather would probably laugh at my vertical garden. And honestly, I bought more flowers—some outrageous bromeliads. I can’t help it. Can’t I live off of beauty? Do I really have to eat?
All through the day of building, possibly cursing at trying to hold 8 foot 2 x 4’s up while screwing them into the wall, attaching the boxes, planting the plants into the boxes….I kept thinking about the white vulture. When I finished my farmer-girl activities I ran upstairs and looked up ‘white vulture’ on my trusty internet search engine.
It is a symbol of the feminine in Egyptian mythology. In Pueblo mythology it is a symbol of restored harmony that had been broken. It is a symbol of the return of the self. (Pause…..and repeat please).
Photo of me probably 17 years ago….
How appropriate. How perfect. Since my father’s illness and death (when I was 21) I have been in a series of relationships with no gap between them. Recently I have done some deep healing as I find myself alone for the first time in 32 years. And I wanted to be alone as I found myself repeating the same old patterns. Sick of myself, I journeyed out on my own to heal. To grow. I couldn’t repeat the familiar behaviors anymore. It was deadening.
At this almost year mark of my time with only me and my baggage, I find myself dreaming of white vultures and realizing that I am discovering who I am…I had never given myself space or time to figure that out and in some ways had remained the wounded young woman throughout my relationships. How appropriate that in my time of conscious healing, the goddess of feminine energy pays me a dreamtime visit.
Self-portrait 2013
After all these years I am finally healing the old wounds. I have no idea where this new-found wholeness will take me but I’m guessing it has something to do with growing flowers or morphing into a vulture….once I figure it out I’ll let you know.
Insects humming and chirping outside the window tonight remind me of the cycles of life. Outrageous blooms at the Festival of Flowers in Mobile created within me a welcoming embrace of new life, a celebration of crazy colors and shapes that even now, two days later, make me smile.
I wrote a several days ago about the intelligence of flowers. Today their beauty simply reminds me to celebrate the cycles of my life–all of them. And to drink in the beauty found everywhere.
From the east comes the light and rebirth and the fresh air of spring.
From the south comes warmth and the fire of summer and growth.
From the west comes deepening and the maturity of autumn and diving into the watery realms of the subconscious.
From the north comes wisdom and quiet and deep stillness of winter.
Color, shape, patterns…part of the attraction dance between flowers and pollinators.
Colorful with geometries and patterns that dazzle us humans, imagine what flowers do to their pollinators. I totally understand how butterflies flutter away from flowers in drunken delight. Can you imagine living your life so intimately connected and totally dependent on your relationship with flowers?
Recently results from a study on these blooming wonders gave us even more to admire about them. They use an electrical field to attract bees. Not only do flowers use ultraviolet spectrum colors we cannot see, petal temperature, texture and shape to attract pollinators, they use electricity.
Come on baby….wow! You turn me on!!
Daniel Robert and a team of researchers published their study which proved that flowers emit a slight negative charge that attracts bees, which carry a positive charge. Just seconds before a bee visits a flower, there is electrical activity in the plant resulting from the nearby bee. After the bee leaves, the energy field of the flower stays altered for 100 seconds or so and this serves as a warning for the next bee that the flower has recently been visited.
I believe in the intelligence of nature. Not a ‘thinking’ intelligence that results from a logical brain, but a natural, instinctual intelligence that bypasses a need to think about anything….an inner wisdom.
The flower isn’t thinking….come on baby….check out this pollen…ooh let me make some more of that nectar and flash a deeper ultraviolet color. Feel my electricity baby!! None of that takes place. It’s just a dance between flowers and their pollinators. A beautiful, magical, mystical dance of attraction.
Wouldn’t it be nice to simply be yourself and be accepted for your beauty. To dance your soul’s dance without holding back. To love and accept others as they love and accept you without judgement.
A dear friend of mine gifted me with an Amarilla kit for Christmas. When I opened the box to dig out the pieces…the container, growing medium and bulb….pale yellow shoots greeted me. It was ready to grow. Without roots planted, without water or sunlight…this bulb was ready. It knew exactly what to do.
I felt the excitement of the bulb as I surrounded its dry roots with moist soil. I packed it and placed it on my back porch to enjoy warm winter temps and filtered sunlight. And less than a month later, it has exploded with color and blossoms that appear to sing with joy.
During the past month I have sent snapshots created on my phone to Eydie to let her know how Lilly is progressing in her growth. But this morning, Lilly wanted to be photographed.
Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she wonderful?
So I pulled out my big Nikon and micro lens, set up the tripod and gave Lilly my undivided attention. Due to recent cold weather she bloomed inside, beside an antique plate of my grandmothers and a watercolor done by a former mountain neighbor. She sits atop an antique table my grandmother treasured.
This morning’s meditation brought a message from a native grandmother. She reminded me to contemplate the Triple Goddess archetype…Maiden–where I was wounded. Mother–where I lived out the wounds and worked hard to heal them. Wise Woman–where I live a more whole expression of all that I am and work now to help the Earth and Her children heal.
With the grandmothers
Lilly has three blossoms that fully opened…just this morning. Coincidence? Perfect timing? I’m beginning to understand that everything somehow miraculously works in perfect timing and the wisdom we need to guide us in our life is within us all along. Life is a journey of discovering, uncovering that wisdom and daring to tread the path that unfolds before us.
From the south comes warmth and the fire of summer and growth.
