A true self-portrait evolves and changes as we change and grow. Several years ago I created one and found it the other day. I decided to create a new one and see how it might be different.
Our lives are works of art that evolve as we change and grow. I’m so grateful for the adventures, both inner and outer, that have shaped my life.
What shapes your life?
I wrote a friend tonight about the correlation between my connection with nature and feeling at home in myself. Being with humpback whales, spotted dolphins, manatees….all have given me vast experiences of connection to Oneness with the Universe and help take me deeper into relationship with my Self.
Other moments photographing nature in the mountains or in wild places in nature, such as Ireland and England, have opened doorways to inner realms of vast expanse that changed my life. I also realized, as I wrote to her, that I haven’t had a really profound, ah-ha type, nature connection since returning from Ireland last February and that’s partly why I’ve been out of sorts lately.
Connection with nature is my rock, my anchor to deepening the connection to my inner realms. And really, there isn’t an outer and inner anything. It’s all One. The truth is simply this….when I align deeply with nature I feel Oneness, the lines of separation vanish and I am at peace.
I go outside daily and cycle often at sunrise but it’s different to go outside and be outside. What keeps me from being with nature?
Empathic distress probably has a lot to do with my unrest of late. If what I value most is in danger of disappearing, I am at risk for anxiety and stress and separation from Oneness….all of us who love our planet face those same risks…humans, animals, plants….all life is at risk. If the places and animals I love the most deteriorate and disappear, then what? It is a very stressful time to be alive because we see what is at risk–everything.
What is this environmental and social nightmare we are collectively creating?
While I can be active and make socially and environmentally good choices, the most important action I can take is to develop a strong practice that takes me into Oneness, into nature…deep into Nature.
John Muir, my favorite naturalist and nature writer reminds me… “Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.”
And Black Elk reminded us, “Crazy Horse dreamed and went into the world where there is nothing but the spirits of all things. That is the real world that is behind this one, and everything we see here is something like a shadow from that one.”
He stood at the edge of the swamp–antlers upright, eyes staring at me. It was the briefest of glances but I still remember the steam rising from the murky water and streaming from his nostrils as he sniffed and snorted. Magnificent, strong, ruler of his domain, the encounter with the buck has remained burned into my memory…in my heart….and every time I pedal past that gap in the trees I glance to see if he is there. Five years ago…and he’s still there in my mind.
After slowly awakening this morning, I picked up my iPad to check email and realized that for over six years I have opened email in the morning expecting a message. A message from him. I didn’t realize that simple act of finger touching glass was an act of hope. Why this came to consciousness today I don’t know. There is no pining away or waiting for him…I go on with life…so it was a surprise that there’s still the hope lingering….hanging like a thread. I had no idea…
Years pass yet there are imprints…people, animals, places…that simply don’t fade or lose their importance. The connection I have with Nature is like that…and those threads, once pulled, take me to humpback whales, elk, coyotes, dolphins, manatees, tiny reef fish, sea turtles, sunrises, sunsets, purple mountains, cliffs and seascapes, rocks. Once pulled, these threads always lead me back home–to my soul, my true self–the little girl who talked to nature spirits and animals.
And that’s where I find myself these days….embracing that nature child whose wisdom is intact, who knows that Oneness isn’t just a flaky idea, who still hugs trees and talks to whales and dolphins and manatees….and spirits that few others feel.
The Magical Nature Child…all roads lead home to Her. Every thread of memory weaves the tapestry of life that is Her playground, Her sacred realm. This then is where compassion and kindness reside and love for all life is treasured. This then is the place of beauty and sacredness for all life…it’s where instinctual wisdom blooms like a lotus blossom every time I sink my toes in the mud.
As the year winds down reflection is a normal part of our process before the new year begins. This year I find myself wanting to tie up loose ends that tend to entangle my best intentions.
When our thoughts get stuck and the chemical groove in our brains deepens with repeated rumination, it can be difficult to step out of old patterns. As humans we tend to chew our thoughts like cows chew cud but we really get no nourishment from our thought-grinding efforts.
This morning I set the intention of trust and peace for my yoga practice. Over the past couple of weeks this theme has arisen often. Clarity came today like a divine bell ringing in my mind and heart. What if everything is exactly as its supposed to be?
What if everything we spend so much energy and effort and time replaying in our minds does nothing to further our growth and development. What if everything really is exactly as its supposed to be for our soul’s growth….what if!
The choices we make to leave, move, begin again….to write the book we dream of writing, take the photograph we long to take, write the letter we yearn to write or share the poem we wrote….all begin with an urging from within us. Rather than spend years questioning and fretting, what if we accept these parts of our journey as exactly what needs to happen to open other doors?
So share your art, your writing, the poem you wrote. Move to a new place if you feel led to do so. Downsize and clear out if that’s what you feel prompted to do. Write a friend you haven’t heard from in years. Follow the push from within and trust the guidance constantly whispering to us, even when we don’t hear it.
Perhaps finding peace is as simple as accepting that everything is exactly as it is supposed to be for our soul’s growth. With that acceptance comes the opening of unlimited potential.
What is it that calls you? What does your heart long to do or say? Where do you long to travel? Pay attention to what calls you and let it guide the way.
*Luka Bloom music…..Don’t Be Afraid of the Light Within You