Love Anyway

An elderly man walking across a busy intersection got caught in traffic as the light changed. I waited to allow him to cross. After I began to move forward the guy behind me laid down on his horn and swerved around me screaming at me. So much for compassion.

Each day I work on cultivating compassion. I say work because of people like the driver who honked and screamed because I waited for a confused, elderly man to get safely across the road. One moment my heart was pouring forth love and concern and the next I was trying to keep from shouting back at the guy screaming at me.

In no way could I make sense of the guy’s reaction to kindness…actually to safety and the law (pedestrians have the right of way). In what world does he live in to leave a confused, old man in between two lanes of traffic whizzing past on a five land highway? So I glanced over as the guy wheeled around me and mouthed: what is your problem?

There’s a mime on FaceBook going around that goes something like this: I meditate daily, I light candles, I do yoga and sometimes I still want to slap people. And that’s okay because I’m still working on myself. And I love the old man who was crossing the street and needed assistance. I love people who are kind and generous and compassionate. And I’m working on loving those that are mean, pushy, uncaring, violent….I really am…but I’m not quite there. And that’s okay.

I’ll continue to light candles, do my meditations, practice yoga and search my heart for places that haven’t opened yet and there will be moments when dark actions in others trigger my anger…and that’s okay, too. I’ll love anyway….beginning with myself.