Going Beyond Fear

When I first started diving 10 years ago, I didn’t have a smile on my face. There was such an overload of equipment, physics, marine life, and dive tables that those first few dives felt very strange and alien. But my passion to commune with the underwater world was strong so I kept diving and somewhere during the first twenty dives I began to really enjoy it. And now, with over 500 dives logged, scuba diving is as natural as walking to me. And I find it brings more peace than anything else I do.

November 28, 2002 I experienced my first cave dive. Here’s part of my log entry: My first cave dive…first time in doubles and ‘cave gear’…had bronchitis…the flow tortured me.” What I didn’t say is that it was scary as heck going into an underwater cave with gear I had never used before and swimming against a current that almost tore off my mask. The next day, cave dive number three log entry: Awesome dive! Exceeded my expectations! Loved it.” While some cave dives have been challenging and two or three downright scary, most of the 85 I have logged have fed my soul instead of tortured it.

The challenge of diving both open water and caves has helped me grow as a person by uprooting fear and creating personal strength and self-trust. It took facing my fear and working through it to reach the other side where I found enjoyment, excitement, and fulfillment. Diving has made me a better human, of that I have no doubt. Plus, it has taken me to amazing places–underwater caves in Mexico with mind-blowing beauty, reefs off of Bonaire filled with sea turtles and eagle rays and to coral heads where tiny marine life made me smile from my heart.

I must have needed another challenge because recently another water sport has been calling to me. Having never tried paddle boarding, I ordered a beautiful board from Three Brothers Boards in Daytona, Florida, after friends suggested I check out their boards. After reading the story of how their board-building business came to be and seeing their line of wood-laminated boards, I knew I had found the right SUP connection (Stand Up Paddleboarding). It arrived last Friday and after the excitement of its arrival abated, I realized I had this great board and didn’t know anything about how to do this sport (other than what I’d watched on YouTube videos).

With my husband along as a potential rescuer if I was a total klutz, I prepared for my maiden voyage last Saturday. I admit it, I stalled a little bit. I was excited for sure, but hesitant to be entertainment for all of the motorboat and jet ski passengers nearby. There are not many paddle boards in Western North Carolina so people tend to stare at this spectacle of a human standing up paddling. Would all the boaters just launch their boats and zoom off for their destinations on Lake James? Please?!?!?

I started out by paddling a bit on my knees, getting a feel for the board and how it responded to movement. It’s very responsive. Incredibly responsive even. Hmmmm…. Finally I laid my paddle across the board like David shows in the video and I stood up. My toes grabbed like monkey-toes but I stood up. I paddled. I even paddled across wake created by jet skis and boats. But first I had the most amazing sensation.

As I stood up and felt the balance point, it was as if I was ten feet tall and positioned on a magnificent, magical carpet. My world expanded and I was hooked. I think I understand what crack addicts mean when they say their first hit was all it took to make them an addict. More, more, more!!! More SUP boarding please!

I’ve had a bit of fear to work through, but after my third paddling session on Lake Julian, I can affirm three things. First, my intuition to make the board purchase and become a paddle boarder was 100% right. Second, when my mind wanders, I lose my center…my balance. Third, anything worth doing involves working through fears that might arise.

Whatever the fear that keeps us chained to a small self, it is worth facing and moving through to reap the rewards of breaking through, going beyond. Going beyond to a bigger expression of what we can become. What lies on the other side of fear? Everything you have ever dreamed possible…and then some! You might even walk on water…or at least feel like you are!