Orange Grove at Peacock Springs State Park…water completely covering lower platform and nearly to upper platform
We have had a LOT of rain lately. So has Florida. Photos I took last week of my favorite cave diving site inundated with river water and duck weed prove that. It has officially rained so much my brain feels waterlogged.
Radar from 3am
It stated here about 3am with loud ka-booms in the distance. For the next 90 minutes lightning never seemed to turn off. And the rain was torrential.
A break this morning gave a window of opportunity to drive to Pure Barre in Daphne for a workout. The cloud cover, sprinkles all day and general threat of more weather has made for a very lazy day. The small bit of work accomplished included balancing my check book and vacuuming the house. Otherwise I have felt completely content with dreaming up ideas…like building an ark, creating a video of the top ten items that float down the Magnolia River in a flood and what to do when the frog armies demand quarters in my home due to high water outside.
5pm radar…looks about the same as 3am.
With frequent lightning, being productive on the computer isn’t much of an option. I’m behind in uploading photographs and filing them and backing them up but my computer remains unplugged…safely unplugged.
So I hunker down with my cat buddies and await the passing of the storms. Sometimes that’s the best thing we can do…simply await the passing of the storm and move forward when the coast is clear.
The coming of this down-time is perfect after a potent week. Now comes the time for assessing the next step and cultivating a plan. So thank you rain. While I don’t intend to build an ark, there are others radical ideas brewing.
As I floated in the fresh, blue-tinted spring water I gazed into a sea of green leaves outlined by cerulean sky. Reflecting back into the cave I had just exited with my friend, I smiled and whispered words of gratitude. Underwater caves always create some sense of magic and wonder within me and today was no different. Except it was my birthday. And I had the strangest sense that today would be an epic journey… something akin to Homer’s Odyssey.
There had already been two very strange encounters followed by a truly magnificent cave dive. First, I was visiting three black and white horses after checking in at the dive site and decided to do a selfie with them in the background. I love horses and they had seemed nice enough. But as soon as I turned around one of the horses literally attacked me and bit me hard on the back of my head and neck.
Horse attacking me…happened to catch it with my camera…as he bit my head and neck…
Then, less than an hour later I was hooking my side mount tanks onto my harness in the water and from out of the woods walked a father and his seven year old daughter. He was carrying a long mermaid tail that, once donned, made her an amazing mer-child. She swam in the spring and frolicked and brought beautiful energy to us before the dive.
And so as I laid upon the water, stretching and reflecting, the story of the Odyssey came into my consciousness and the day unfolded as an epic journey home, just like Homer wrote about in his tale about Odysseus’ journey home after the fall of Troy. Interestingly enough it was the Trojan War and the ruse of the Trojan horse that led to the destruction of Troy. So the horse attack this morning set the stage for my own Odyssey.
After a delicious lunch with my friend Pam I departed High Springs, Florida to continue my journey home. As I left the town behind, two huge wild turkeys were on the side of the road. I remembered a line from the movie, O Brother Where Art Thou. “You will see many strange and wondrous things on your journey.” And the drive home seemed like a series of strange and wonderful things.
It’s okay to stop and rest in a storm….
I experienced a flood of water with a storm that was probably the hardest rain I’ve ever driven in. I saw an 18 wheeler trailer on fire alongside I-10. A random peacock was wandering along the highway and later a huge hawk was seen diving with talons extended just about to grab dinner. And finally the sunset was perhaps the most beautiful I’ve ever seen.
Taken with my phone….nowhere to stop and set up my Nikon...
Layers of clouds in spirals, wisps, puffy shapes with multitudes of pinks, oranges, grays, blue extended all around me and as I approached Pensacola Bay it was like a symphony of color and shapes surrounded me. The colors were like music. I could hear them, so loudly were they displaying.
Beautiful wisdom was gifted to me through this series of events, this epic journey home. The horses reminded me that there have been those in my life who appeared supportive and loving yet behind my back were very damaging to me. Like the Trojan Horse that led to the downfall of Troy, there are those who were not as they seemed.
Several years ago in a flight from Miami to Bonaire, the whirling propellers put me into a sort of trance as I flew over the Ocean and I saw a beautiful mermaid with a brilliant emerald tail and knew that she and I were one. I saw that part of me that is intimately connected to water. The young mer-child today reminded me to reclaim that sense of wonder and reclaim my deep connection to water that is the heart of my life.
The dive into Mother Earth…many levels of learning here but mainly I saw that persistence and inner strength can take me into places of magic and help me connect deeper with our water planet. Her beauty will be revealed as I avail myself to doors that open.
The wild turkeys signified abundance, blessings and new beginnings. Native wisdom associates wild turkeys with sacrifice of the ego for Higher Purpose so that in giving one is more open to receive. It reminds me of an email I got as I was in the middle of this journey home. My side mount instructor reminded me that my invitation to commune with the Earth (when I took other folks messages of love into the cave for the Earth) opened Her arms and I was ready to receive. Surrendering the ego, opening the heart, giving…and the return is profound.
The flooding rain hit as I entered Tallahassee so I simply stopped, sat at a Starbucks and waited out the storm. There is nothing in life that says I have to fight the storms that come. It’s okay to rest and observe and be ready to move forward when all is calm.
Sometimes parts of life are no longer necessary or even healthy. The fire of the 18 wheeler reminded me of this truth. Don’t cling…let go of the past. No more holding on to anything or anyone gone from my life. The peacock is another symbol for the Phoenix which is the mythical bird that rises from the ashes of it’s own death. Let the past die…let the ego die and be reborn into the fullness of the Higher Self. (Got it).
The hawk reminds me to use my fierce passion for life and bring it to everything I do. Hold nothing back.
Time to step into life with everything I am….
Finally, the sunset had me dancing in my seat. It truly sang with color and it had an alchemical effect on me. As it peaked over Pensacola Bay I glanced back over my shoulder and saw a flock of white birds reflecting the colors of the sky on their wings against a darkening sky beyond them. They reminded me that no matter where life takes me, if I stay connected to Spirit I will bring the reflection of Love and Compassion with me to infuse the space around me with magic…harmony…love….compassion.
What an incredible Odyssey this day has gifted to me. A perfect way to begin another trip around the sun.
Today I celebrate my birthday. A while back I passed that half-century mark so this one isn’t a major milestone or anything extra special. But it feels that way.
This day of celebration is a time for refocusing my intention to live true to who I am. To allow my strengths to become gifts I share with others and to allow my talents an opportunity to be expressed fully. My birthday wish this year is to be a true expression of my highest self and live as a clear channel for love and light with an open heart.
Photograph by Jen Fraser
To all those who have guided, helped, assisted thus far…thank you. For those shining souls I have yet to meet….looking forward to it.
After my morning workout I was driving home once the torrential rain had eased up. Evidence of it was everywhere–flooded fields, ditches full and over-flowing, roadways covered. It was still raining but I waited at Pure Barre until the worst of it had passed.
The stretch of Highway 98 was looking good so I picked up speed and was listening to the Coffeehouse on Sirius radio when suddenly, as if it materialized from nowhere, the road was covered with three to four inches of water. Both lanes were underwater. Time seemed to slow down and I saw the possibility of my car hydroplaning and spinning out of control. In that split second I was keenly aware of the potential of being in a wreck. Actually I felt it, deep within myself. And I was calm.
I tentatively applied my brakes, knowing that given my speed I would lose control of my car when I hit the water. Thankfully, my Volvo knew exactly what to do. I felt the brakes pumping so I wouldn’t skid. I kept the steering wheel steady and within a few seconds I was out of danger with only a very slight fish-tale dance move as we once again found mostly dry pavement. We…yes, we. On more than one occasion the ‘wisdom’ of my car kept me safe.
The first week I had it I was driving from Greensboro to Asheville on I-40 and an 18-wheeler in front of me hit one of those skinny, tall orange-striped cones. It started spinning all over the road. I didn’t know how to react so I waited. I waited until the last possible moment and then steered clear just before the whirling projectile hit my car square in the center. It felt as if my car was a stealthy, large feline so keen was its cat-like reflexes.
It may sound silly but that’s okay. I’ve had a couple of close calls in my life, both from careless drivers. The latest one being several years ago when a drunk driver, who was going 55mph, rear-ended me when I was stopped at a traffic signal. He was legally comatose but managed to total his BMW on my CRV. He had a drunk driving conviction seven years prior.
That’s when I found my car and purchased it. What attracted me was Volvo’s safety record. About 10 years prior to that wreck a teen ran a stop sign, hit me and rolled my truck. My dog was killed because of that wreck. Had my daughter been with me, she would have most likely been killed. So I felt as if I had a bulls-eye on my life and welcomed the solid, dependable Volvo friend.
I didn’t intend to write about my car but I see the metaphor it brings. It reminded me that I am supported and loved by something more powerful than me. Sure, it came in the form of a vehicle but I keenly felt a direct connection to Spirit when I reached out and patted the dash of my car and said, Thank you. Thank you so much for keeping me safe.
What, in my darkest moments, do I have to fear? Only being forgetful that I am loved and cared for completely, totally. The protection and care from my guardian angel or Spirit…or God may come through the form of my car or a friend or a small, inner whisper. This near-miss caused me to pause and consider just how loved I am, how cradled I am in the Light of Spirit. How we all are, even when we experience traumas, sickness, loss and disappointments. Nobody, nothing has the power to take that from me.
This was a morning of tears…intense tears welling up from the grief I carry within my heart for this planet…and all life here. Some days it nearly overwhelms me. I want to stand as a witness to what is happening but some days it is difficult. Thank goodness for small acts of kindness and love that I also bear witness to for these keep me sane, hopeful.
…I drove by a large area that had been clear cut. Massive oaks, pines…lay in piles. I couldn’t help but scream, “ENOUGH! ENOUGH DESTRUCTION!” I’m not sure who I was screaming to…myself, the tree cutters, the developers…God?
…The other night I dreamed I was at a car dealer and kept saying, But I don’t need a new car. They kept wanting me to test drive this model or that one. I felt brainwashed and fought to stay conscious of the truth.
The biggest lie we are taught from the moment we take our first breath is that we don’t have enough. Or that the vehicle that gets a few miles on it must be replaced with a sparkling new model. Or the TV we have is four inches smaller than the new model which is also three inches thinner. Our clothes are the wrong style or the wrong color. Our hair is the wrong color. Our skin the wrong color……
Our entire society, economy, mental structure is based on making more money, having more stuff…more, more, more. The programming is so insidious that we aren’t aware that we are wired to participate in the steady but sure depletion of planetary resources. Like robots we march through our lives thinking we are not okay unless we have more stuff. We equate more with safety.
Sadly, the USA has become the model for the world in consumerism but this modus operandi comes with a great cost.
Our planet is a reflection of our mental hygiene…or lack of
As a collective, our mental hygiene has gone to hell. Our emotional lives have become wastelands. We believe we are inherently flawed unless we live the ‘American dream.’ And so with our minds–our most powerful tool–we perpetuate a living hell of accumulating more stuff which creates debt and feelings of worthlessness brought about by the perpetual desire to have more stuff so that we are okay…we are safe. This mindset takes us deeper into a spiral of destruction in our personal lives and as a planetary family.
The good news is that because our minds are so powerful we have the ability to create different lives for ourselves. It supposedly takes 30 days to change a behavior. The first step is being aware of how our behaviors stem from our thoughts, our beliefs. This means we have to monitor our thoughts…what am I telling myself? That is the place to begin. Unraveling a lifetime of programming will take more than 30 days; however, the place to begin is at the beginning. Question every impulse to buy a new this…a new that. Do I need this or is this my programming creating this impulse?
It’s time to step out of the drama of the chaotic, consumer-driven world of greed and fear. When we take this step it is not a loss we will experience but a birth into a higher, more genuine quality of life. It is time to awaken from our slumber, to arise from our unconscious state and recognize our part in the destruction of our planet by supporting uncontrolled and profit-driven individuals and corporations who care for nothing but…more.
“Desire defeats its own end…desire is the parent of fear”*…when we understand this, we can release the desire for more and feel the grip of fear release the choke-hold it has on our lives. The place to begin is at the beginning.
*“Desire defeats its own ends, for it is the parent of fear.” These words were written by psychologist, teacher, artist and mystic Dion Fortune.
The coming of this down-time is perfect after a potent week. Now comes the time for assessing the next step and cultivating a plan. So thank you rain. While I don’t intend to build an ark, there are others radical ideas brewing.
