Category: consciousness

Diary of a Wild Heart–Part Seven

Diary of a Wild Heart–Part Seven

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One of the things I love about diving Bonaire is the house reef in front of resorts is always a great place to dive and its one I can do solo and feel comfortable.

(Before I proceed let me assure my mother that solo diving as an instructor is something we do every time we take new students into the water and actually diving without four new divers is safer than diving with them. And…I stay at 35 feet of depth or less and take extra safety precautions…and yes, there’s actually a speciality for solo diving).

No other divers were nearby as I slowly moved through the water. Being by myself yet surrounded by the immensity of ocean life is soul food for me. As I glided along, a hawksbill sea turtle was foraging for breakfast, I was foraging for beauty.

Ocean creatures constitute an amazing community of life. The coming and going, the territories, cleaning stations, hiding, defending, hunting together–all of this demonstrates a most effective and efficient community. Each time I journey into these well-organized societies  I celebrate the instinctual wisdom demonstrated. And I always wonder why humans can’t learn from these marvelous cooperative neighborhoods. It was a good way to begin to bring the week of diving to a close.

The next morning our entire group decided to dive together so we headed south from the condo. We had entered the water and were making our way out to Tori’s Reef. My dive buddy and I had dropped down on the reef as had two guys a short distance from us. Just as we dropped over the edge of the reef I heard squeaking and whistles. I excitedly began looking around.

Three groups of four or five dolphins swam past, within 8 to 10 feet of me. I was screaming in excitement through my regulator and clapping my hands. So much for remaining calm underwater. In the last group that swam by the large dolphin closest to me turned over on his back and drifted by looking at me while swimming upside down. I couldn’t contain my joy! And so caught up in the moment was I, I forgot to take photographs of these amazing friends with the exception of one rather blurry one of their tails as they swam past.

I have been to Bonaire many times and this was the first time I saw dolphins. They brought a special gift to me, one that I am still unwrapping in my heart and mind.

During the first dive of the day I had so much grief surface about planetary destruction. I remember looking at tiny fish and crustaceans, sponges and corals and wept into my mask at the violence humans have done to the planet and each other. After the dolphins swam away I allowed those feelings of sadness their space but allowed them to be surrounded by the joy and happiness the dolphins evoked within me. I was so grateful, so frustrated, so joyful and sad all in the same moments as I glided along.

So in love with the ocean was I, in touch with life in a deep way. This depth of passion and emotion is what pulls me forward to continue the environmental work I feel called to do. The only way to proceed through the trying times–times of frustration, sadness and anger–is with an open heart. The pod of dolphins opened my heart. Only through love can I do the ‘Work’ and visit places that are polluted and damaged, deeply injured by humans. That is the only resource strong enough to see all of us through who have dedicated our lives to helping this water planet heal.

My wild heart was nurtured the entire week I was on Bonaire. From my time there I came back renewed and ready to do the ‘Work.’ May it continue…for all of us on this path.

Blue Dawn

Blue Dawn

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Today’s sea turtle nest patrol didn’t yield a new nest or crawls but it yielded over 100 pounds of trash in a mile and a half stretch of beach. My regular patrol volunteer buddy couldn’t walk today so I walked by myself. I arrived at the beach before 5am and took time exposure photographs of the Gulf. The water looks magically calm and surreal in the images but in reality it was quite rough.The high seas add to the regular beach trash by dumping all manner of junk along the shoreline.

When I got to my turnaround point I saw another volunteer and she had ‘mistakenly’ walked the beach looking for nests. I was busily picking up trash, as I made the return trip, with a bag I had secured from the kind folks at Gulf State Park Pier. Lu and I filled the bag to the point where we had to empty it three times. A 30 minute walk to over 2.5 hours to do while picking up litter. Here’s a sample of what we found:

Plastic drink bottles, plastic water bottles, glass beer bottles, been cans, soda cans, two disposable diapers, a plastic tampon applicator, over 100 plastic bottle tops, plastic bins, plastic tubs, oil containers, balloons, kites, string, monofilament fishing line, fishing leaders, latex gloves, flip flops, broken sun glasses, cheap snorkeling masks, wool sock, countless kids plastic beach toys, plastic floats, candy wrappers, foil drink (Capri sun) plastic straws, styrofoam cups and plates and pieces, plastic cups, pieces of large plastic ‘things,’ large plastic water bottle (for a cooler), half an Otterbox brief case encased with all kinds of ocean life, food wrappers, foil, unidentifiable plastic things…..and on and on and on. There were also cigarette butts by the thousands that we didn’t pick up. The problem with EVERYTHING we picked up and the cigarette butts is that none of it degrades, decomposes…goes away. At least not for a VERY long time.

Here’s the time frame of decomposition for some of the trash we found:

Wool sock–1 to 5 years, cigarette butts–10-12 years, foamed plastic cups–50 years, plastic containers–50-80 years, aluminum can–200-500 years, plastic bottles–450 years, disposable diapers–550 years, monofilament fishing line–600 years, plastic bags–200-1000 years.

Take a minute and think about this….breathe it in and sit with it. (Pause).

Just yesterday I read an article on recycling cigarette butts. Did you know they are made of plastic? They don’t decompose as some may think. A cigarette tossed on the ground is there to stay for a LONG time.The filter is made of the same material as plastic bags. One company is making guitar picks and other happy things from cigarette butts instead of the butts being put into land fields or worse, ending up on the ground. Cigarette butts are the most common type of litter found.

Yesterday I read an article by a favorite reporter of mine, Dahr Jamail. Oceans of Pollution, is an important read for all concerned about the health of our planet. Jamail quotes a study that warns, “without profound and prompt changes in human behavior, we will cause a ‘mass extinction in the oceans with unknown ecological consequences.'” He also quotes Alanna Mitchell, “Every tear you cry…ends up back in the ocean system. Every third molecule of carbon dioxide you exhale is absorbed into the ocean. Every second breath you take comes from the oxygen produced by plankton.”

If our plankton dies in the ocean, we die. It’s as simple as that. The ocean produces the majority of oxygen we breathe…even if you happen to live in the center of a continent with no access to the ocean, the ocean is what gives you oxygen. As plastic gets more deeply rooted into our ocean food chain, we are seeing more ill effects and consequences from the toxins used to create it. We are quite literally killing our ocean and therefore, killing ourselves.

As Lu and I walked, several people came up and thanked us, one guy expressed his love of the planet, another young man expressed his frustration at how people can be in the presence of such beauty and completely miss it and trash it. A few people actually helped us along the way. Some hung their head in shame as we carried the heavy bag, filled with human-generated pollution and as I made eye contact, I saw their grief at what, collectively, we are doing to our planet.

It was no coincidence that two strong articles came across my desk yesterday and today I found myself surrounded and astounded by a mountain of trash in just a mile and a half of Gulf of Mexico beach. We no longer have the luxury of turning away when we see places like this. We must breathe deep and connect with our compassion for all life and do whatever we can to make a positive difference. We can no longer luxuriate in anger, frustration, hopelessness. Now is the time to be active stewards of our Ocean.

Diary of a Wild Heart–Part Six

Diary of a Wild Heart–Part Six

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I gazed out over the green-blue-indigo water and felt my soul resonate with it completely. Waves of color reverberated through me and in response, my connection to the sea was strengthened. I wanted to know the secrets, the mystery of my soul and the journeys it has traveled and experienced. I longed to feel the wisdom rise up within me and illuminate my path.

Entering the water before sunrise was a primal experience for me. Feeling the cool, salty kiss of the sea before the heat of the day began was a gift I wanted to bestow upon myself.

As I floated weightless on the surface, the sun peeked through the palm trees and bathed me in golden light. The clouds were golden, the water sparkled with gold flecks and ripples and I merged into that silent place of deep gratitude. I swam in swirling circles of light and play and frolicked joyfully. Ocean love….ocean bliss.

The couple I had a brief encounter with a couple days before arrived as I swam and left before I got out of the water. She had helped me find sea glass and gifted them to me one day but never spoke a word–she just smiled at me. They exited the water,  on this day, and I noticed she stayed on the beach after he left but I didn’t think much about it.

After swimming I collected a bit of trash–wire, a bottle cap and some sea glass. As I walked up the stone steps I noticed a brown, dried circular leaf on the step. On it was several pieces of sandy sea glass, carefully arranged. It stopped me completely and literally in my tracks. I’m not sure I’ve ever received a gift so appreciated, so precious–so completely thoughtful.

I felt completely humbled and opened by this beautiful gift, so thoughtfully and freely given. I felt tears well up inside of me.

I walked back to the condo and shared my experience with the couple and the gift she had left me and salty tears rolled down my cheeks. This gift emerged from a heart connection we felt even though she and I never spoke a word to each other. Our hearts understood each other. Our souls shared a deep love of the Ocean.

The gift appeared to be a small leaf with tumbled bits of sea glass; however, the true gift was the hope in humanity this gentle, loving couple restored to me. For that, I am forever grateful.

Dairy of a Wild Heart–Part Five

Dairy of a Wild Heart–Part Five

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I sat in a tidal pool after finishing the last dive of the day. The sun was setting the clouds assured a stunning sunset. Still in my wetsuit, I plopped down and sat in the bubbling Ocean as it washed over coral rock. The sunset was magnificent and everything a nature-lover could want–saltwater, beautiful sky, sunshine and warm air–was present.

As I stood up after completing my tidal jacuzzi, I noticed an eel had entered into the shallow pool and was hunting. I was concerned it was trapped so I pointed at it to encourage it to leave and head back to open water before becoming stranded.

With mouth open, the chain moray leapt toward my outstretched finger causing me to run backwards through the tidal pool. Luckily I didn’t trip on any of the coral rock nor did I get a nasty eel-mouth bite. I learned something valuable–eels can leap out of the water and scare silly humans who think they’re doing eels a favor.

When I don’t understand something, it doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. I wish the human species could get this truth on a deeper level. Maybe we wouldn’t harass each other so much.

Diary of a Wild Heart–Part Four

Diary of a Wild Heart–Part Four

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As I stood along the water’s edge, absorbing and connecting with the elemental energies, I relaxed into a blissful reverie of sea-glass gathering. I think about how the sea transforms trash into small bits of beauty. Ragged, sharp-edged cast-off waste turned into smooth treasures of green and blue.

I feel the Ocean does that to me as well. I come to Her ragged and worn and She transforms me, heals me, smooths my sharp edges and I leave a better person.

This morning the local couple I’ve noticed each morning came back and he commented to me that I am here each day. I smiled and said, “You, too.” We all laughed and went about our tasks. Mine–gathering glass and smoothing my rough edges and theirs chatting and playing in the water together quietly, gently.

For days I watched this couple, amazed and inspired by their gentleness with each other, with the sea. You could feel the good-will toward each other oozing through their shy and playful gestures. The lightheartedness….beautiful. What a gentle way to greet the day and each other.

This native couple mirrored the essence of the calm sea to me each morning and modeled for me how humans can live closely tied to nature and yet fully engaged in their humanness. I’m not sure they realize the gift they are bestowing to me. I am filled with gratitude.