conscious change Archives - Page 9 of 18 -

Enter Persephone

By Simone Lipscomb | October 17, 2013

A couple days ago I was shopping at my favorite natural foods store and happened upon organic pomegranates. Something compelled me to add one to my cart. Today, after my workout, I arrived home hungry and wanting refreshment so I greedily eyed the ripe fruit.

I began cooking brunch while simultaneously beginning the long process of freeing the plump, red, succulent seeds from their honeycomb-like womb. Stir the broccoli, peel a bit more….add the eggs, peel a bit more. Sneaking a sweet seed with its fleshy pulp fruit, I nearly melted. How exquisite, what an explosion of flavor. My spelt bread finished toasting and I added local honey to it. I dipped my finger in the thick, golden liquid and sucked it off and was met with a most interesting contrast of intense sweetness mixed with the sweet-tart-sour of the pomegranate fruit.

But meanwhile, the main course was ready so I sat down, with red-stained hands, to eat. Upon completion of my meal I went back to the task of sorting the tiny, fleshy fruit from the peel with the intention of sitting in my courtyard and enjoying the fruits of my labor. The effort yielded a bowl-full of delicious treats and I sat outside, next to the grandmother oak tree, eating until I could eat no more. As I ate, I pondered the mythology that was linked to pomegranates.

In mythos Persephone was beautiful, well-loved and innocent. She was the daughter of Demeter–goddess of the harvest–and Zeus. Even Hades, god of the underworld, wanted Persephone. So one day, when she was out enjoying the flowers and most likely chatting with deer, rabbits and other gentle creatures, the earth split open and Hades thundered out in his chariot pulled by black horses and abducted the fair and lovely Persephone.

Demeter was heart-broken and wandered the earth looking for her lost daughter. She was so upset that she withdrew in deep depression and loneliness and because of this the earth ceased to be fertile. Everything began to turn brown. Zeus saw what was happening and sent Hermes into the underworld to demand the release of his daughter. Hades consented but gave Persephone a pomegranate as she left and it is said that she ate only three seeds of the sweet fruit; in doing so she forever bound herself to the underworld.

Because she partook of the fruit given her by Hades, she had to spend part of each year in the underworld with him. During this time Demeter mourned and withdrew and green things of the earth stopped growing. This myth explained winter and the cycling of the seasons in Greek culture. And yet, it explained so much more.

Each of us must take the journey of Persephone many times during our lives. We must journey into our own darkness and get to know it in order to emerge into the light of our spirit. Like Persephone, it isn’t a one-time event. We most likely would prefer not to have to make this journey more than once, but as we engage in our lives, inner triggers are pushed which, if followed, lead us back into our dark, inner world. We can try to postpone the journey but if we do, we will certainly repeat the same patterns again and again until we go within and deal with our ‘stuff.’

Perhaps we fear the darkness and are afraid we’ll be absorbed or lost in it; however, some of the most creative expressions throughout history have come from artists who have taken the journey of Persephone into their inner underworld and give expression to it. Eat the seeds, take the journey and dance in the darkness, sing in it, play it out with music. Create beauty out of the journey into the inner world. For without the journey inwards into our darkness, we could never come to the full expression of light.

The choice we have is whether we’ll go kicking and screaming when life abducts us or if we’ll go willingly. Either way, it is good to remember that sweetness and nurturance also can be found in the darkness and help is ever with us, even though many times unseen. It is often said that when we feel the most alone is when we have the most assistance on a spiritual level. We can draw from the strength of those who have made the journey of Persephone. Know that just as the seasons cycle, so too do the times of darkness.

Please comment, share and re-post as you feel moved.

A Sensitive Heart

By Simone Lipscomb | October 13, 2013

“I have sea foam in my veins, for I understand the language of waves.” Le Testament d’Orphee is a movie I’ve never seen but this quote from it touches me deeply. It was quoted in an article I read this morning during my hammock time with my ginger cat, Stanley. It was a piece about sensitive souls…the traits and behaviors…the feelings. As I read it a mirror to my soul seemed to open. FINALLY! There are others out there. (Deep sigh).

My first memory of my inner life being at odds with the outer world was when I was about eight years old. My father and I were watching a movie about an old man who saved up hard-earned money to purchase a pane of glass for the only window in his shack. He installed it and it had only been in place for a brief time when his mule kicked a bucket that went crashing into the window–which shattered. The man beat the mule. I cried and my father laughed at me for crying. He asked why I was crying. For the mule, for being beaten, of course. It was then that I begin to learn that my sensitive heart was in for a rough ride.

The article states, “You absorb sensation the way a paintbrush grasps each color it touches on a palette. The ethereal beauty of a dandelion, the shift of a season, the climax of a song, or the scent of a certain fragrance can sometimes move you to tears…Basically this means if you are sensitive, you have the ability to see colors and feel energy the way others hear jet planes.” Victoria Erickson, the writer, goes on to quote research that says sensitive souls make up about 20% of the population. People who are super-sensitive have nervous systems that respond easily to stimuli which can be overwhelming and exhausting. “Sometimes your sensitivity makes life extraordinarily painful and you want to shut down and hide your raw self from the loud chaos that accompanies this earth’s continual rotation.”

Victoria lists six ways to stay balanced….create, enjoy the company of animals, seek out water, recognize what is only your energy and emotion (its easy to absorb other’s energy), surround yourself with people that understand your nature and nurture that connection, retreat, replenish and rejuvenate. Her advice was so good that I saved the article to my desktop so I can review regularly.

After I finished reading I sat in the hammock chair with my cat buddy and pondered the eye-opening information. There have been many times I have been laughed at, made fun of, and generally put-down because I am sensitive. And I know there are others who have experienced this treatment. When this happens we close down, little-by-little. Our experience of the world narrows as we deny the very ability we have that feeds and nurtures us.

When my daughter was born, I begin to reawaken to the part of myself I had closed off, lost even, through my childhood, adolescence and young adult life. Her arrival into my life was a catalyst that pushed me onto my spiritual path and steered me deeper into my heart. When she was born I suddenly knew what it was like to truly love someone.

Everything didn’t change overnight. It takes an immense amount of work to learn to stay open to the beauty around us and not close down when the rest of the world seems to not notice. There were many, many rocky years and times when the dichotomy, of what I knew to be my truth and what the world told me my truth was, was difficult to sort out. I carry many battle scars.

About eleven years ago I reached a very low point in my life when things literally fell apart around me. It was as if everything I cared for shattered and shifted and I was left feeling completely beaten down and also, oddly enough, feeling incredibly open. At that time a man came into my life that helped nurture me so that I could put my life back together, in a more harmonious way. His was a sensitive heart, even though he didn’t like to admit it. The light he shined into my life helped me believe that I could be myself and live fully. At first he kidded me about talking to trees but before our relationship ended, I caught him talking to trees….although he would most likely deny that now.

I was blessed to have someone who believed in me, that stood beside me as I lifted myself out of the rubble of my life.

What does the world do to a sensitive heart? How do we survive the challenges, the fears, the chaos we encounter simply by living on this planet? This fragile beauty, this light within us can be so easily destroyed, snuffed out. The magnificence of a sensitive soul can be chased into hiding by the stresses of daily life. This, to me, is the greatest loss we all experience. When we lose our brothers and sisters whose sensitive hearts and souls bless this place, then truly we have lost great treasures. I know there are many whose light has been diminished or hidden by the stresses of life. May we reach out in understanding and love and stand with them as they work to find peace and wholeness.

When these lights go into hiding it’s not simply a personal loss, but a planetary loss. We need more people now than ever before who are in touch with their hearts and in communion with the beauty..and who are unafraid to show it. May we support each other always in finding and staying connected to our true selves.

Unattached to Attachments

By Simone Lipscomb | October 12, 2013

I was driving and found myself laughing hysterically and uncontrollably. It has been a long time since laughter has taken over and caused me to lose myself completely in its grip.

My brother has been working on a project and I decided to spend the afternoon with him and offer moral support. I was on my way to his barn when I began reflecting on realizations that came last evening. I wrote about them in my blog from yesterday entitled, Change. The nutshell? Letting go of the idea that I can create change in others by my actions and feeling like a failure if the world doesn’t improve because of my efforts.

So as I was driving I had this image of me whopping people over the head with my love for the planet. I’ll make you get it! That’s what started the belly laughs. I felt a huge rush of energy clear out remnants of left-over omnipotence and the image came of me loving someone so much I beat them over the head with love….isn’t that hilarious? For some reason those images completely cracked me up and it felt good. Well…actually…it felt great!

I was reminded again that my only desire is simply to allow love to flow through me and out into the world without attachment to who accepts it or what positive changes happen. What freedom! How much energy I’ve used to try and persuade, cajole, encourage positive change in others while it has depleted me. The laughter helped me feel the insanity of those crusades and release leftover crumbs of that way of thinking.

Isn’t it interesting how no matter the cause we are drawn to…whether it’s saving polar bears, stopping the Keystone XL pipeline, having health insurance for everyone, balancing a budget, gun rights, helping homeless people, helping homeless animals….our passion is what drives us. Our love is what fuels our work, our drive to make a difference. Being attached to our opinion, our work making the difference is the glitch…that’s where we stumble. That’s where we fail.

Our hearts are like blossoms, waiting to bloom

If I say I love you, share my innermost feelings and show relentless support and you tell me to go away, have I failed? Not in any way. I took the risk to share and it didn’t change your response. It doesn’t make you or me a bad person.

If you tell me that polar bears have very little sea ice on which to live and I don’t donate $100 to your cause, it doesn’t negate your work or my right to direct my energies elsewhere. Being attached to outcomes is so self-defeating, so damaging.

What would it be like to live without attachments? What if happiness and joy didn’t depend on how others responded to our choices, our passions, the lengths we go to to create positive outcomes? What would life be like if we simply did what we felt called to do with love and passion and dedication simply because it brought us immense joy? And allowed others that same freedom.

Wouldn’t it be great to let go of attachments? To be unattached to attachments….now that is living!

Blessings, Forgiveness and Endorphins

By Simone Lipscomb | October 2, 2013

The workout pushed me to my limit and somehow I pushed through. As we began our final stretches the instructor reminded us to be mindful of our blessings. With my physical body exhausted and open, her words touched a deep place within and as I settled into this expanded physical experience my heart and mind followed. I felt a rush of gratitude that brought tears of relief, of joy. It wasn’t just the endorphins.

Over the past two nights I have awakened with a similar dream. Both involved a significant person in my life, a person that was a light in my life when I needed it most. And sadly, a person no longer in my life. The dreams showed me that he and I are much alike and without going into details, I found myself lighting a candle this morning with forgiveness for us both.

In this morning’s dream we sat together and I shared my sadness over leaving the beautiful wooded acres at our home in central North Carolina and our home in the mountains. I didn’t realize how much grief I carried over leaving the land there. We sat as friends, in my dream, and shared with each other. Such openness. Such beauty. Such calm acceptance.

Last night, prior to sleeping, I sat on my back porch in the hammock chair for hours just listening to the night sounds. Watching stars twinkle through oak leaves, allowing the drone of insects to put me in a sort of trance, listening to scurrying creatures in the courtyard…opening myself to the Earth and the Sky….feeling myself as part of this amazing Universe. Breathing in the energies shared by the grandmother oak tree that spreads her massive arms protectively over my home, acknowledging with gratitude the gift of life…I rested and floated in my swing.

It’s been over a year and a half since I moved back to the Gulf Coast and I love it. But I hadn’t allowed myself to touch the grief of leaving the mountains, a place I had dreamed of living my entire life. In a sorting, clearing and organizing push during the past week, I pulled out a painting I created that depicts the view from my loft office in my mountain home. I had it stored until yesterday when I hung it in my office here. I am strong enough now to feel the grief of leaving the mountain and Etta’s beautiful acreage in central North Carolina and accept the nurturance freely given by the land in both of those places and here, under massive live oaks, near a slow-moving river.

The Earth Mother nurtures us at every stop we make in our lives. It is my hope that I can remain open to receive and with a joyful heart give back to that which sustains me. Grounded in forgiveness for all my mistakes and the mistakes of others I can state truthfully and freely, I feel blessed. And that’s not the endorphins talking.

A shout-out to Pure Barre Eastern Shore instructors. THANK YOU for everything you do for us! I am so grateful for you all!

Building Walls or Building Bridges?

By Simone Lipscomb | October 1, 2013

Walls of steel…walls of stone…..wooden walls…walls of fog…icy walls…emotional walls. To protect….set apart…keep safe…isolate…obscure.

Who among us hasn’t constructed a wall of some sort? Perhaps a wall in a home to provide protection from the elements or to create space within the home for privacy. Perhaps a storage room or garage wall to keep property safe. Walls are an important part of our lives. Sometimes they are the only thing between survival and death.

We construct inner walls as well. Many times these are erected in childhood when we’ve been harmed and we do this to protect that deep, sacred part of us to insure it doesn’t get wounded, scarred…annihilated. It starts out as an intelligent, survival skill but as we mature that structure becomes a liability that cuts us off from the world and usually from the people that love us the most.

One of the saddest things to witness is a person who refuses to deconstruct such walls and therefore creates a tighter and tighter corner in which to exist. If people in that person’s life act outside a very narrowly defined behavioral spectrum, his or her walls push them away and they are exiled forever. No amount of love can penetrate such rigid structures.

The perception is filtered through old wounds that fester like poison within and keep joy and true contentment from being accessible. And while I have witnessed such tragedy individually, microcosmically, I see this on a macrocosmic scale in how one political party relates to another; how our country relates to other countries and even how we relate to the planet.

The basis of all of this wall-building? Fear.

The Course in Miracles states: What is not love is fear. Over 28 years ago I read that statement and have pondered it. I see the absolute wisdom behind those simple words.

I believe it is time to deconstruct walls. Inner walls erected between individuals, communities, political parties, countries…the planet. If we aren’t coming from a place of love then we are coming from fear. Is this really how we want to live? Can we make positive changes in relationships, communities, countries…on the planet if we continue to base our behaviors on fear? Look around and the answer is evident.

If we must build anything let us build bridges from my heart to yours, from yours to others, from community to community, political party to political party…country to country….human hearts to the planetary heart. Who knows…when we meet in the center of the bridge most wondrous things can happen. When we choose to come from our hearts instead of our wounds miracles are birthed.