I know I’m paying attention when I see the fine ‘hairs’ on the stems and petals of flowers. Or notice the grains of pollen resting on a petal after being released by a pollinator’s visit or a burst of March wind.
Ready to blossom
I know I’m going slow enough when I see the details of life. For it is there that I realize and become aware of the depth of beauty around me.
University of Texas Arlington photo
Once a little green snake drank from a saucer of water my partner held for it. That moment of caring for such a small creature held such tenderness, such compassion. The details of daily moments, so precious. Such treasures.
Stargazer lily
When I allow myself to look deeper, to see with eyes of a student, nature has so much to share…to teach. Such loveliness to touch.
Orchid faces….always make me smile
Orchids share their unique personalities with the details of their blossoms. Every opportunity I have to photograph them I feel lighter and happier. The faces I see in each blossom bring such joy.
Life is a little softer, a little kinder when I take time to notice the details and embrace the moments to interact with beauty that nature offers. Some of these experiences will remain in my heart throughout my life.
It feels as if somebody lit a fire under me. Friday night I painted the bathroom adjoining my office. Saturday morning I painted the guest bathroom and Saturday afternoon I went to a DIY store and purchased plants, then planted the herbs and impatiens and coleus in the courtyard. Sunday morning I did a four mile SUP board paddle at a cruisin’ pace, came home and then went back to my favorite DIY stores and purchased more plants, pieces and parts for my experimental vertical garden and assembled it, and planted the containers. Today I went to Pensacola and purchased groceries at my favorite healthy food co-op, came home raked leaves until I was exhausted, went back to the DIY store and purchased a leaf blower (I caved….couldn’t handle all the leaves with one rake and one body pushing it), came home…put the blower together and used it to blow leaves until almost sunset, then cleaned out the potting shed and organized it, hung two hanging basket brackets and assembled the baskets and hung them. And I wonder why my desk is getting buried. Oh, and I washed and dried three loads of clothes somewhere in the midst of those three days.
Today a book I purchased on-line, Finding Florida: The True History of the Sunshine State arrived. All 500+ pages. When I fall asleep reading it, it will most likely give me a mild concussion (hardcover edition). But with my desk needing attention it’s doubtful the book will capture my attention too soon. Here’s a random quote from the book: “I would have been a rich man, if it hadn’t been for Florida.” Henry Flagler, on his Florida expenditures. I might say that same quote but delete the word Florida and insert…Lowes and Home Depot.
The changing of the season has ushered in some powerful energy to help clear out the old and create new places of beauty. I’m following the urge to spring into action.
This is NOT representative of this morning’s behavior from my darlings.
I awakened to soft thuds overhead. Cat play on carpet. I had been dreaming of a white vulture soaring overhead and waked in the middle of the dream. I lay there half awake wondering the meaning of such an unfamiliar symbol. Heady thoughts so early in the morning and soon interrupted by the thundering of cats down the stairway.
Gracie practiced her balance beam act on the footboard while Stanley practiced his gymnastic moves above me on the headboard. The hawk screeching outside my home and the combined acrobatics of my cat companions called me to get up and check the weather forecast.
Last night I read where high winds were predicted for today so when it was quiet outside I literally ran to put on my SUP boarding shorts and shirt and was out the door before coffee. I could smell the salt marsh far upriver so the wind announced itself with gentleness, prior to anything more than a whisper. By the time I reached the downriver side of Bemis Bay the ripples began. As I rounded the corner at Washer Woman’s Point, I saw and felt the beginnings of the ‘serious’ wind…but that wasn’t what really caught my attention.
Black vulture near Crystal River, FL
Perched on a cypress tree was a beautiful vulture, wings spread, heart facing the morning sun. Her wing feathers were white and so I remembered the dream. But I had the rest of my four mile paddle to complete and lucky for me, had a downwinder on the way back up river.
My experimental wall garden..the 2 x 4’s will be painted once they are dry
The rest of the day was spent putting together a project I’ve been dreaming of for weeks–designing and building a system to grow veggies and herbs on the east side of my home. Literally…on my home. It’s very sunny there, while the rest of my yard isn’t and the garage gets very hot in the summer so I wanted to install some sort of green wall to see if it would keep my garage from boiling during July and August.
My new bromeliad friends make the courtyard an even happier place
I would rather grow flowers because I simply have a thing for them. But my farmer genes nudge me to try my hand once again at growing food. My dad and grandfather would probably laugh at my vertical garden. And honestly, I bought more flowers—some outrageous bromeliads. I can’t help it. Can’t I live off of beauty? Do I really have to eat?
All through the day of building, possibly cursing at trying to hold 8 foot 2 x 4’s up while screwing them into the wall, attaching the boxes, planting the plants into the boxes….I kept thinking about the white vulture. When I finished my farmer-girl activities I ran upstairs and looked up ‘white vulture’ on my trusty internet search engine.
It is a symbol of the feminine in Egyptian mythology. In Pueblo mythology it is a symbol of restored harmony that had been broken. It is a symbol of the return of the self. (Pause…..and repeat please).
Photo of me probably 17 years ago….
How appropriate. How perfect. Since my father’s illness and death (when I was 21) I have been in a series of relationships with no gap between them. Recently I have done some deep healing as I find myself alone for the first time in 32 years. And I wanted to be alone as I found myself repeating the same old patterns. Sick of myself, I journeyed out on my own to heal. To grow. I couldn’t repeat the familiar behaviors anymore. It was deadening.
At this almost year mark of my time with only me and my baggage, I find myself dreaming of white vultures and realizing that I am discovering who I am…I had never given myself space or time to figure that out and in some ways had remained the wounded young woman throughout my relationships. How appropriate that in my time of conscious healing, the goddess of feminine energy pays me a dreamtime visit.
Self-portrait 2013
After all these years I am finally healing the old wounds. I have no idea where this new-found wholeness will take me but I’m guessing it has something to do with growing flowers or morphing into a vulture….once I figure it out I’ll let you know.
Insects humming and chirping outside the window tonight remind me of the cycles of life. Outrageous blooms at the Festival of Flowers in Mobile created within me a welcoming embrace of new life, a celebration of crazy colors and shapes that even now, two days later, make me smile.
I wrote a several days ago about the intelligence of flowers. Today their beauty simply reminds me to celebrate the cycles of my life–all of them. And to drink in the beauty found everywhere.
From the east comes the light and rebirth and the fresh air of spring.
From the south comes warmth and the fire of summer and growth.
From the west comes deepening and the maturity of autumn and diving into the watery realms of the subconscious.
From the north comes wisdom and quiet and deep stillness of winter.
Beautiful ocean water off the coast of Bonaire, N.A.
Roaring Fork waterfall near Mt. Mitchell in North CarolinaAbout to submerge into ocean at Bonaire, N.A.Triple Falls in North CarolinaAnother view of Roaring Fork Falls in North CarolinaMay our beautiful water planet be blessed. May we be good stewards of our water resources.
From the south comes warmth and the fire of summer and growth.
