The dictionary defines beauty as– “the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which spiritual qualities are manifest).”
Intense pleasure or deep satisfaction.
Virgin tulip tree in Great Smoky Mountain National Park
Can we experience beauty if we are not open to it?
What might keep us from being open to intense pleasure or deep satisfaction?
Waterfall near Blue Ridge Parkway, North Carolina
For me it was trauma and grief due to environmental destruction….a “broken heart”….but it could be anything.
What keeps you from experiencing intense pleasure or deep satisfaction? What keeps you from being fully open to Beauty?
Wandering horse in desert. Bonaire, N.A.
It is worth exploring these questions. All of us could benefit from a daily practice of seeking Beauty and identifying our level Beauty Tolerance.
I was standing at Lulu’s Homeport in Gulf Shores, Alabama, listening to a band play a traditional Mardi Gras tune and felt a subtle, inner shift. A small glimmer of something started to awaken within me and it made me smile.
When embarking on a course of action it’s not necessarily easy because you (finally) found your path–your direction. When I answered an inner call to document the Gulf Oil Spill in my home state, I never imagined the emotional wreckage that would occur within me. I remember days before the oil began washing up on the Alabama beaches fervently trying to photograph as much of the Gulf beaches and marshes as possibly and while doing so sobbing, sometimes uncontrollably. Then when it began coming ashore and coating animals, beaches and filling the air with toxic fumes I was in a state of near exhaustion from anger, sadness, grief and the physical challenge of exposure to the toxic soup in the water and air.
It changed me. I remember going back to my mountain home for a few weeks each month and finding it very difficult to connect with anything pleasurable. I was numb from what I was seeing. Traumatized. And in some sort of cosmic disbelief that humans could destroy our planet…not just by an oil spill…but by endless sins committed against this beautiful planet and its inhabitants. Nothing touched me. Beauty was painful to see. Yet I couldn’t look away from the environmental destruction because finally I felt I was doing my legacy work.
Sometimes the cost of that commitment is high.
There was healing during the many weeks spent along the coast. Realizations, moments of inspiration but it was a week spent with Joanna Macy, in a Work That Reconnects workshop that truly helped me understand and process what I had been going through. And healing continues since my move back to the Gulf Coast.
Yes, I enjoy SUP boarding and walking the beaches and diving in the Caribbean. I’m not walking around in a constant state of gloom and doom. Yet finding a space for personal pleasure….just the inkling of fun for no particular reason…has continued to be challenging for me. The burden of our planet’s plight is heavy.
But yesterday, while riding my sea turtle volunteer team’s float in the Gulf Shores Mardi Gras parade and hanging out at Lulu’s with my friend and her family provided a little spark of fun for the sake of fun….with the intention of fun. Imagine that.
Gratitude for a day of fun runs deep within me. It helps to balance the deep grief that fuels my work to share the beauty of our planet…in the hope that people will realize the beauty of Earth and will do everything they can to help heal it. And heal the human relationship to it…and each other.
Curious about the SUP board, the juvenile says hello.
It is no secret to anyone who knows me that my best friends are finned or flippered, feathered or furred. My heart is touched by an encounter with wild dolphins or a gentle nuzzle of a manatee in ways that surpass any human connection. Maybe that’s why men I’ve shared my life with have moved on…never content to come second after my love of wild animals. Connection with all creatures wild is my Communion, a way to rise above the mundane and connect deeper, more fully with beings more evolved than humans. (Personal bias).
Today I received an early-morning call from a friend and she tearfully expressed her love of the woods surrounding her home was about to be logged, destroyed so the landowner could purchase a vehicle for his son. How can you put a price like that on a sacred woodland? When will humans learn that the planet is not a commodity to be pillaged, a land to rape for spoils but rather a sacred cathedral?
The mentality of profit at any cost is not a luxury we can afford any longer.
Joanna Macy’s teachings come to mind. She explains the necessary evolution from a life-taking society to a life-sustaining society. We are in a time of moving from a profit-at-any-cost world to a life-sustaining world. We are in the middle of the dissolution of the old way and are awakening to the reality of the mess we’re in economically, socially, environmentally. And within the mess, within the reality of how we have treated the planet and each other, we find positive change occurring. Many, many people are choosing to act from a place of responsibility, a place of compassion and love. We are waking up to the idea that it is possible to live in balance with respect for all life.
Wildlife reminds me of the connection we have to the whole. The manatees scarred by propellers remind me that humans still have a huge impact on fragile species, that we have done great harm to our planet. And when I see volunteers paddling their kayaks, overseeing interactions with these gentle beings and acting as protectors, hope is refueled.
While snorkeling recently, a juvenile manatee came to me and demanded my attention. My goal is passive observation, in or out of the water, but while filming them, one insisted on connecting face-to-face and drew me out from behind the camera. He swam in front of me, stopped and I felt his gentle spirit guiding me to remove the camera from between us and commune, one wild heart to another. I gently placed my hand aside his face and channeled as much love as I could to him and his kind. And I listened in silence to him.
In those moments we were one with each other. There was no me, no him. In that neutral stillness was birthed understanding. Deep, profound understanding.
As we parted, sobs wracked my body and soul for the trust demonstrated by a species so abused and wounded by humans. The future of this planet is in our hands. That is both frightening and empowering. What will we do to create a better world? Will we do anything?
It can start with daily communion with the natural world. Let it show us our next step each day.
He checked out my dry suit, my fins, my snorkel, my camera…always learning more about humans, these little ones.
There’s a place within each of us where all is quiet and still. Where thoughts cease and worries are set aside and there is silence. Photographing nature brings me to The Gap more than anything else I do. And today I was lucky enough to find myself in this neutral place of stillness twice.
First, while kneeling on the beach photographing the waves all thoughts ceased and whatever I am was at one with the water, the sand, the air. What an exquisite experience.
Then while sitting on a concrete piling, crossed legs bracing my elbows to support my telephoto lens….it happened again. Completely lost in the moment, empty and yet full because of the complete oneness with the moment.
My path for this year is a journey into full immersion of the beauty of planet Earth. And to share what I experience with others. Today I celebrate the oneness of all life and the understanding that we truly are one with it.
Over the years there has been a narrowing of focus. I steadfastly have endeavored to serve and help humanity evolve, with the end goal of promoting planetary stewardship. Sound idealistic? Unrealistic? Did I drink hemlock-spiked egg nog?
Paying attention, listening, being still with a calm mind….little tools we can use to help us find our way. And as we progress through our trials, dead-ends, and times lacking in joy, and surrender to our life’s calling, we become more content.
My personal journey has led me deeper into beauty, most significantly the beauty found in nature. The glance of a pelican as it soars past, the gaze from a shark as it swims alongside, a sea turtle hatchling gazing up at me as she scoots past….the whisper of trees as they sway in the wind and countless moments spent outdoors call me to recognize beauty, to champion it and to celebrate it.
Over the years I’ve struggled with direction and purpose and wandering…and wondering. It comes down to this simple truth for me: Beauty is my passion. It is my sincerest desire to translate it to others through photography and writing. With no agenda, no push to make others see….because without this expression my life dries up and I feel off course.
What is your passion? How does it influence your life?
What is your passion? How does it influence your life?
