Each morning, as I walk my SUP board to the small river beach, I greet a beautiful, old cedar tree that stands on the bank. Its gnarled trunk is scarred with places where limbs used to be and the deep fissures in the bark invite my fingers to explore them and touch the texture with gentle regard.
This morning after paddling I walked my board up the trail and felt a gentle nudge from the grandmother tree to come back and visit. After settling my board on the grass, I returned and placed my hands on the trunk and looked up. What a massive tree, soaring far into the sky. Usually I see only the section I pass by, rarely stopping to notice the entirety of the tree.
We do that to ourselves and others. We focus on one small part of ourselves…normally some behavior or personality flaw we don’t particularly like…and obsess about that. Or with other humans we see something we don’t like and dismiss the person without taking time to view the whole person and their many good qualities.
If I only looked superficially at the cedar tree I might say it has a lot of scars and bumps and imperfections. But when I step back and gaze at its entirety I see such magnificent beauty and oddly enough, it is the flaws make it beautiful.
In my first book, Sharks On My Fin Tips, I wrote a story about my grandfather and the depth of love’s grooves worn into our hearts by those we love. In taking a moment to visit the tree today I thought of that quote. People, wildlife, oceans, rivers, bays…all the things I have loved in my life have made an impression on me. There may be scars but mostly the memory of interacting with loved ones–people and animals–and wild animals and places has worn beautiful groves into my heart, that will remain forever.
Like the cedar tree’s beauty, our beauty comes not from perfection but from the imperfections we grow through and overcome and the impression love makes on our hearts as we risk opening them to love others.
I grew up having tea time with my friend Bridget, a beagle. Our ‘cake’ was Bridget’s biscuits. Milkbone makes a very good tea cake…in case you are wondering.
Stanley Kubrick, my current orange tabby friendGracie, my darling queen of the manor cat friend
My best friends have always been four-legged. Their unconditional love, acceptance and loyalty have been, without a doubt, vital to my happiness. It started with Bridget and then there were others…Freckles, Sarge, Inka, Jake, Pete, Ben, Jessie, Uriel, Stacey, Angie…and the cats Hazel, Maya and Maat and others that left too soon. And Yokie, Gracie and Stanley.
Tommy with my three year old daughter and me…1988-ish.
When I was 13 or so bigger four-leggeds came into my life…’D’ and Tommy (Tomahawk Red). Tommy and I participated in horse shows and my relationship with him was my most important teenage friendship. A short story I wrote about our relationship was published in WNC Woman and it remains one of my favorites.
My manatee friend…our story is in another blog post from January 2013
Over the past several years there have been wild animals that became my friend in a moment, from first contact, and that heart-felt relationship has lasted for years..the memories still precious. Those would be manatees…flippered-ones.
Henry Flager, my salty sister Renee and her husband Hans’ wild boy.
People that make room in their hearts for animals are worthy of their love, of that there’s no doubt. When we commit to a relationship with an animal, be it one that lives with us or a wild animal whose cause we champion, we make an expression of love and compassion. You, my friend, are worth caring for. You are worth the energy it takes to keep you well. Why is it so difficult to maintain human relationships when we do this so easily with animals? It remains a mystery to me.
Sambeaux, my mom’s lab
To all the animal companions I have known as my own ‘child’ or as friends in the wild or in other’s lives, I say THANK YOU! You make life wonderful!
Abbey, my friend’s Phyliss and Bob’s companionOllie, my daughter’s and her fiance’s companionYokie, my true friend of many years…RIP buddy
I was beginning to think it was a bad April Fool’s joke. I was standing on the beach asking the lifeguard if he knew where the dead dolphin was that had been reported. He didn’t but rode west three miles down the beach on his three wheeler looking….nothing. I called our stranding coordinator and told her the lifeguard reported that someone said there had been a dolphin with rope on its tail…but no dead dolphin materialized. Not sounding good….could we be getting pranked by spring breakers?
A little nudge from my intuition sent me walking east. It was looking pretty hopeless but my intuition nudged me again…ask the fisherman. I did and he said…”Yes, I know exactly where it is. Can’t you smell it?”
Recovered dolphin last week
Great. And I thought last week’s dolphin carcass was challenging. The bloating was significant and so was the smell. But I was observing a necropsy of a very large, adult male dolphin inside a facility. Some decomposing and a lot of blood…the smell of blood was what wore on my stamina. Tissue samples were taken, counting of teeth, and all the other data that must be collected from a marine mammal death. Hours upon hours of locating, loading, hauling, photographing, and bit-by-bit taking the dolphin apart and taking samples from organs, blood, eyes…a very intensive effort on the part of several people.
Thankfully it wasn’t an uncounted dead dolphin
But today, I witnessed another large dolphin…this time in the final stages of decay. The body had been dragged with a rope and there were parts missing….the lower right mandible, the dorsal fin…and even in the ragged state this dolphin was in, I could see where tissue had been removed. Between our coordinator, my on-scene eyes (and nose…significant putrid smell) and another biologist via telephone, we pieced together the story.
This dolphin was found in December, processed by the other biologist and dragged up in the dunes by the resort gardener and buried. It had been recently unearthed by someone or something and the smell created a curiosity in spring break celebrants who reported to the resort management there was a dolphin on the beach with a rope around it. They forgot to mention the fact that it was nearly skeletal….but that’s okay. We want to be sure it is a dolphin that has already been counted….and not an unreported death.
I had nothing to measure the length of the carcass except my flip flops…. x 9 lengths
Perhaps I did feel like an April Fool….but in a good way I suppose. Not another dolphin death, just a resurrection…of sorts….VERY ‘of sorts.’
Every marine mammal that washes onshore (bays and rivers included…not just the Gulf) and is reported has to be confirmed, measured, tissue samples taken and a lot of paperwork completed by the coordinator at Dauphin Island Sea Lab. She is working to build the volunteer program so our state can do its part in reporting dolphin and manatee mortality and stranding.
It’s not a pleasant job as most ‘strandings’ are really recovery and examination of dead dolphins and manatees. But it is very necessary to gather the data and samples so the reason behind the nearly 900 dolphin deaths since the BP Oil Spill can be determined. Everyone isn’t capable of this kind of ‘death’ work…but there are different jobs you can do to help the Alabama Marine Mammal Stranding Network. It’s one way you can make a difference.
Nothing is more vital than a wild heart. When we lose that, we’ve lost our connection to the untamed, the unruly….the undomesticated part of ourself. And when that happens, the planet suffers.
Yesterday I met Sampson.
I walked into the conference room and high up on a shelf, he perched. At first I wasn’t sure if he was alive as I wasn’t expecting a bobcat to be…ummm…there. But he was very much alive.
Sampson is a northern bobcat that was ‘owned’ by humans who had him declawed and kept as a pet. They ran into problems with his ‘wild’ behaviors and there were permitting issues so he was surrendered to a wildlife rescue group in Ft. Walton Beach who now provide a home for him. He doesn’t like to be outdoors but rather lives in the administrative part of their building.
Stanley Kubrick, my orange tabby companion…can’t you see the
resemblance When I looked into this beautiful bobcat’s eyes I immediately saw my orange cat Stanley reflected back through the thread of wildness that remains very present in Sampson. Only it was like Stanley with his superhero powers turned up to full force.
There was no where to hide from his searching eyes. When they locked with mine I understood that his wild wisdom is still intact even though he lives indoors. It was a bit unnerving to have my own wildness, my own worthiness to be evaluated. It was as if I was exposed, open to his scrutiny with no tree or rock or pretense to hide behind. He nailed me.
Sampson allowed me to photograph his greatness and then came down to my level and allowed me to stroke him and ‘love’ him. I was being accepted into his clan. And when I sat at the conference table, he jumped up and walked to me and head-butted or bunted my forehead when I lowered my head to his. Cats (domestic and wild) have facial pheromones that they deposit on other cats, people, objects as a way to mark something as safe. According to one vet, it is like leaving a signal of comfort and safety….trusting the person or environment.
As I reflect back on my interaction with this amazing animal I realize how grateful I am. To be accepted as a trustworthy friend, or a person of comfort and safety to a wild creature (especially one that has been removed from his natural environment by humans and ‘used’ as a pet) is a gift to me. Given the amount of damage humans do to wild animals and wild places, to find acceptance such as this makes my heart glad…and happy.
What is needed on our part to find greater acceptance from wild hearts of the world? What must we do to find ourselves worthy to be accepted by the clan of wild beings that we, in the greater sense, have abandoned? How can we maintain our wildness, like Sampson, even when living in environments that can seem far away from wilderness?
Whether a bobcat–ripped from his natural home as a baby–or a wild manatee, chooses to bring me into their clan, I am deeply grateful that I am deemed as acceptable, as a trustworthy friend and a human that brings comfort instead of pain and destruction….on some level do they know that I am a champion of their wild hearts?
When the weather doesn’t cooperate with my exercise plans I use the elliptical trainer. I’ve been watching TED talks while working out–specifically the series on the Ocean. One of the presenters referred to the Ocean as being the ‘blue heart of the planet’ so on this first day of spring, I wanted to celebrate the Ocean….the one massive Ocean that covers 71% of the Earth’s surface and contains 97% of the planet’s water (NOAA).
We know that the Ocean is the lungs of our planet. Although estimates vary, somewhere between 70 and 80% of Earth’s oxygen is produced by phytoplankton in the ocean. Rain forests and trees are very important and provide the other 20% to 30% of vital oxygen.
Dr. Sylvia Earle reported in one TED Talk that 90% of the Ocean’s big fish are gone. Ninety percent….gone. This is directly the result of overfishing…taking fish faster than they can reproduce.
I was thinking about the interconnection of the Ocean and all life on the planet. Truly, if the Ocean dies, humans will die…unless we learn to breath a mixture of less than 21% oxygen. Divers know better, so do scientists….and physicians. We simply cannot survive on less oxygen…at least not for any length of time.
After watching the TED talks, two stories came to my attention that broke my heart. First, over 200 manatees have died this year due to red tide or an algae bloom in Florida waters. Red tide is caused by a combination of factors that can include warm Ocean temperatures, high nutrient content (from fertilizers and sewage effluent) and low salinity (that might happen after heavy rain). Manatees are endangered and their recovery was looking very good so this is a major setback. You might not care about manatees so why should it concern you? The algae associated with red tide can cause respiratory distress in humans and can make people sick if they eat shellfish or fish that have eaten or been exposed to the algae. That interconnected idea…it’s for real!
The other news was especially difficult to hear and even though it doesn’t involve ocean animals directly, it is a species genetically related to manatees. A story on NPR told of how poachers are killing African elephants in numbers so great that their numbers have been reduced 62% in ten years. A reporter told of witnessing 100 men on horseback rounding up herds of elephants and using assault rifles and grenade launchers to kill elephants for the ivory trade in China. Diplomatic jets from China transport the ivory back where the growing middle class and upper class pay over $1300 a kilo (2.2 pounds).
Overlay image of dolphin necropsy taken from a baby dolphin in Key West
Can you imagine our planet without elephants? Or manatees? Can you imagine humans capable of murdering innocent animals such as elephants…or dolphins like they do in Japan? Innocent creatures.
The heart of our planet is in danger and not just the blue heart. It seems as though the collective human soul is filled with violence and greed. While listening to the elephant story I sobbed and screamed….I am so angry about human arrogance and greed. We are capable of such love and beauty and at the same time capable of unspeakable acts of violence and aggression.
One of the TED talk scientists spoke of how easy it is to become overwhelmed with all of the horrible things happening on our planet. His suggestion was to do everything you can in your own life and then choose one place or one animal on the planet and call that your project of hope. Support it, educate people about it, study it. If we focus on everything that’s wrong we get depressed, angry…we become ineffective. But if we work on our home life and that one special project of hope, we can continue to be an advocate for positive change in the world.
Now is not the time to give up. It’s not too late. As Sylvia Earle said, “The good news is there’s still 10% of the big fish left on the planet.”
May our hearts join together in support of the blue heart of the planet and may there be a collective awakening of love and light. Nothing else will create the change that is necessary for planetary health…of which humans are an important part.
Each morning, as I walk my SUP board to the small river beach, I greet a beautiful, old cedar tree that stands on the bank. Its gnarled trunk is scarred with places where limbs used to be and the deep fissures in the bark invite my fingers to explore them and touch the texture with gentle regard.
This morning after paddling I walked my board up the trail and felt a gentle nudge from the grandmother tree to come back and visit. After settling my board on the grass, I returned and placed my hands on the trunk and looked up. What a massive tree, soaring far into the sky. Usually I see only the section I pass by, rarely stopping to notice the entirety of the tree.
We do that to ourselves and others. We focus on one small part of ourselves…normally some behavior or personality flaw we don’t particularly like…and obsess about that. Or with other humans we see something we don’t like and dismiss the person without taking time to view the whole person and their many good qualities.
In my first book, Sharks On My Fin Tips, I wrote a story about my grandfather and the depth of love’s grooves worn into our hearts by those we love. In taking a moment to visit the tree today I thought of that quote. People, wildlife, oceans, rivers, bays…all the things I have loved in my life have made an impression on me. There may be scars but mostly the memory of interacting with loved ones–people and animals–and wild animals and places has worn beautiful groves into my heart, that will remain forever.
Like the cedar tree’s beauty, our beauty comes not from perfection but from the imperfections we grow through and overcome and the impression love makes on our hearts as we risk opening them to love others.
