Category: Alabama Coast

My Life as a Pelican

My Life as a Pelican

Ready for lift off!
Ready for lift off!

The past two days have been a crash course in how to be a pelican. I’ve learned how to preen using the oil gland at my tail to waterproof my feathers. I’ve noticed that I must pay careful attention to oiling and smoothing my many long feathers.

Popping my bill can be used as an aggressive kind of communication, to let others know I’m unhappy with their behavior and as a demonstration of contentment just before settling in for a little nap.

Down the hatch...head first please!
Down the hatch…head first please!

Fish have to be swallowed head first. If a fish is too big to eat I’ll show my displeasure by stepping on the head of said fish as I plop across the pier deck. If a fish gets stuck in my pouch I stretch my neck down and then up and shake my head. And I might have to do this while running from greedy pelicans who want to steal my treasured handout.

Sunning after dining
Sunning after dining

Nothing is more relaxing and pleasurable than snoozing in the sun, on a chilly, windy day, after my belly is full.

Check out my awesome diving eyelid...
Check out my awesome diving eyelid…

I have more than one set of eyelids and its fun to freak humans out by closing my diving eyelid.

Shit is not particularly offensive to me, especially pelican poop-shit but I really don’t like human shit like plastic and garbage, monofilament line and fish hooks carelessly left on the pier and beach.

Grooming
Grooming

As a pelican initiate, the past two days have taught me that some humans are kind and gentle, while others are aggressive and mean-spirited to my kind and get upset when we congregate in places where they feed us. Imagine that….angry at our poopy mess when they feed us the left-overs from their fish-cleaning. That seems crazy but unfortunately fits human unpredictability. Illogical beings, these humans.

My life as a pelican....
My life as a pelican….

Over the past two days in pelican training I mostly learned to be present, in the moment. What happened before is irrelevant, what happens tomorrow not worth the worry…but now. NOW! This is the moment where joy and peace exists.

The Healing Power of Beauty

The Healing Power of Beauty

Gulf of Mexico
Gulf of Mexico

I spent this chilly Gulf Coast morning and early afternoon at the beach. It was so amazingly beautiful. Clear water, clear skies with only one little issue….41 degrees when I arrived. But who cares?

Clyde Butcher is a sort of hero of mine. He began his photography career in answer to the death of his son. He poured his grief into capturing beautiful images, uniquely produced. His wife was a partner in his efforts and they created a most wondrous legacy of environmental stewardship.

Peek-a-boo!
Peek-a-boo!

After spending a couple hours walking at a beach in the National Seashore and then a couple hours sunning with friendly pelicans, I realized the best way to move forward in my life is to immerse myself in beauty. I’ve known this but today was an affirmation of this idea that has been brewing since the new year arrived. Clyde and his wife’s work inspires me and encourages me to fully commit to this work I feel called to.

Adult Brown Pelican
Adult Brown Pelican

Celebrating life, embracing beauty found in nature….I believe anything could be healed through connecting with wild places and wild creatures. I am so grateful for this reminder.

Fullness of spirit, laughter and the teaching of sunning meditation is what my pelican friends taught me. I semi-dozed and shot photographs of pelicans that were within arms reach. Bliss. Pure and simple….BLISS!

Juvenile Brown Pelican
Juvenile Brown Pelican

Until the middle school juvenile delinquent picked up his fishing rod and tried to hit the seven or so pelicans surrounding me….I made it clear he was acting inappropriately to him and the guys working on the pier. I found it very difficult to be soft spoken or touchy-feely. Quite honestly, abusing innocent animals pisses me off.

I stomped off the pier mumbling under my breath but it was okay because I needed to eat….but when I got home, eating had to wait until I uploaded the 1400 photos I took today…and by then it was dinner time.

My sunning meditation buddy
My sunning meditation buddy

Renewal, refocused intention and sunny energy fill me even with the jerky punk who thinks being cruel to animals is cool. Next time I hope a pelican poops on abusive kids heads. Now that would be something to photograph!

Beauty

Beauty

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Winter beach at Fort Morgan, Alabama

The dictionary defines beauty as– “the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which spiritual qualities are manifest).”

Intense pleasure or deep satisfaction.

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Virgin tulip tree in Great Smoky Mountain National Park

Can we experience beauty if we are not open to it?

What might keep us from being open to intense pleasure or deep satisfaction?

waterfall
Waterfall near Blue Ridge Parkway, North Carolina

For me it was trauma and grief due to environmental destruction….a “broken heart”….but it could be anything.

What keeps you from experiencing intense pleasure or deep satisfaction? What keeps you from being fully open to Beauty?

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Wandering horse in desert. Bonaire, N.A.

It is worth exploring these questions. All of us could benefit from a daily practice of seeking Beauty and identifying our level Beauty Tolerance.

What fills your life with Beauty this day?

Orchid
Orchid
Fat Tuesday

Fat Tuesday

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I was standing at Lulu’s Homeport in Gulf Shores, Alabama, listening to a band play a traditional Mardi Gras tune and felt a subtle, inner shift. A small glimmer of something started to awaken within me and it made me smile.

When embarking on a course of action it’s not necessarily easy because you (finally) found your path–your direction. When I answered an inner call to document the Gulf Oil Spill in my home state, I never imagined the emotional wreckage that would occur within me. I remember days before the oil began washing up on the Alabama beaches fervently trying to photograph as much of the Gulf beaches and marshes as possibly and while doing so sobbing, sometimes uncontrollably. Then when it began coming ashore and coating animals, beaches and filling the air with toxic fumes I was in a state of near exhaustion from anger, sadness, grief and the physical challenge of exposure to the toxic soup in the water and air.

It changed me. I remember going back to my mountain home for a few weeks each month and finding it very difficult to connect with anything pleasurable. I was numb from what I was seeing. Traumatized. And in some sort of cosmic disbelief that humans could destroy our planet…not just by an oil spill…but by endless sins committed against this beautiful planet and its inhabitants. Nothing touched me. Beauty was painful to see. Yet I couldn’t look away from the environmental destruction because finally I felt I was doing my legacy work.

Sometimes the cost of that commitment is high.

There was healing during the many weeks spent along the coast. Realizations, moments of inspiration but it was a week spent with Joanna Macy, in a Work That Reconnects workshop that truly helped me understand and process what I had been going through. And healing continues since my move back to the Gulf Coast.

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Yes, I enjoy SUP boarding and walking the beaches and diving in the Caribbean. I’m not walking around in a constant state of gloom and doom. Yet finding a space for personal pleasure….just the inkling of fun for no particular reason…has continued to be challenging for me. The burden of our planet’s plight is heavy.

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But yesterday, while riding my sea turtle volunteer team’s float in the Gulf Shores Mardi Gras parade and hanging out at Lulu’s with my friend and her family provided a little spark of fun for the sake of fun….with the intention of fun. Imagine that.

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Gratitude for a day of fun runs deep within me. It helps to balance the deep grief that fuels my work to share the beauty of our planet…in the hope that people will realize the beauty of Earth and will do everything they can to help heal it. And heal the human relationship to it…and each other.

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Animal Teachers

Animal Teachers

Two days ago I launched  my SUP board at a small, sandy beach on the river and noticed otter tracks. Native traditions speak of the otter as teaching playfulness. The water is an ancient symbol for the feminine, creative forces and emotions in life so otter’s play reminds us that we all need to allow our creative side a chance to come out and play and to not take life so seriously.

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As I paddled I thought about the tracks and was excited to know that an otter had visited our little beach and reminded me to lighten up. Life had been very serious and heavy for the past couple of weeks so the otter’s visit was a little nudge to play a bit.

The otter tracks were still present when I launched my board this morning. It was foggy and cool, the dampness permeated everything. The cypress trees stood as silent centennials along the river bank. The absence of wind made paddling especially enjoyable as my board sliced through the mirror-like surface.

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I rounded a bend in the river and to my horror saw a pelican floating head down in the river. It was obviously dead but I wanted to remove it from the water to offer respect and to acknowledge its life….and death. I knelt down on my board and grasped a wing and pulled. It hardly moved. I looked closer and saw its neck was fully extended with the bill potentially stuck in the shallow bottom. I grasped both wings and pulled very hard. Nothing. I tried several times but made no progress.

How was this possible? In over 50 years of life spent enjoying the water and especially pelicans, I had never seen anything so strange. What happened? I wanted badly to free the bird but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t help. Finally I gave up, said a little prayer and paddled on, still thinking about this strange occurrence. Still disturbed by such a strange accident. And determined to understand the teaching being offered.

I thought of the native teachings about pelicans–renewed buoyancy. “Being able to be buoyant and rest on top in spite of the heaviness of life circumstances. The pelican teaches that no matter how difficult life becomes, no matter how much you plunge, you can pop to the surface,” writes Ted Andrews in his book, Animal Speak.

Well…unless you miscalculate your next move and get yourself stuck…deadly stuck… like my poor friend did.

This strange occurrence, along with the traditional meaning, spoke to me quite deeply.

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I pondered the teaching all day, especially the feeling of giving up and feeling heartbroken that I couldn’t free this magnificent bird from the entrapment of mud. Eventually the application became obvious.

No matter how much we want to help a friend or loved one who is trapped in their misery, sometimes we have to let go. We are powerless to change another’s situation, powerless to free them from their stuckness. We can be supportive, can pray for them and offer to help, but ultimately their freedom comes from their own willingness to dive into clarity and love and let the lightness of their being lift them up. We are powerless to save them from themselves.

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Such grief and sadness comes with the realization that letting go is the only choice, the only thing left to do.

What a feeling of powerlessness….yet what a beautiful point of surrender. And for that lesson I am deeply grateful.

Rest in peace my friend.