A Precious Gift

In less than a week now my daughter will be married.

I have to give that sentence room to breathe. She and Kevin have been together for years but very soon we will be coming together to celebrate their lives and their decision to create a life together. I couldn’t be happier that Kevin is her chosen life partner.

Emily was born at noon on a Monday after twelve hours of labor. As I held her, moments after she was born, I recognized the strong feeling of love that poured through me. Life that had grown within my body was now present and about to be disconnected when the cord that joined us was severed.

But is a mother ever really separated from her child?

Whispers of each other’s heartbeat reverberates through the soul as mother and child journey through life. Sometimes apart physically, yet forever joined by blood….and something more. I remember hearing Billy Ocean’s song, Suddenly, while I was in the hospital. “This love is everlasting. Life has new meaning to me, there is beauty up above and things we never take notice of. You wake up and suddenly you’re in love.” Holding her in my arms for the first time I knew that I had never really felt love before meeting her.

The birth of my daughter catapulted me onto a path of growth. It wasn’t pretty–this clawing and sweating journey to wholeness. No. Not pretty at all. I screwed up as a mother, as a wife and made more mistakes than I ever want to admit to myself, much less publicly confess to, yet my love for Emily never wavered. I credit my precious baby girl as being the catalyst that directed me to my spiritual path.

Never the smothering mother type, I was able to give my daughter space in which to grow into her potential without undue, un-requested influence from me. I laughingly say I studied counseling in graduate school so I could help her grow up without squashing her spirit.

She was a strong-willed, precocious kid but in a most charming way. Adventuresome, self-disciplined, driven to do whatever it took to achieve her goals from two to twenty-eight….this is my daughter. Not once did I have to nag her about her school work. The kindergarten teacher’s only complaint was that Emily completed her work too quickly. And maybe that she talked too much. Boredom was her biggest challenge. (Note to Kevin…boredom was her biggest challenge).

When we went wedding dress shopping in November with Kevin’s mom, my mom, and my niece (her maid of honor) I was totally shocked that I started crying when we walked into the bridal shop. Me? Cry about Emily getting married? I excused myself to the restroom and gathered my emotions into a tidy basket of surprise and the rest of the day went wonderfully. So even though she has been on her own for several years and she and Kevin have already established a loving home together, there is still something about the celebration with 130 of their closest relatives and friends that makes this a big deal…besides the crowd of well-wishers.

In a couple days I fly to their home to help in the last minute preparations. I have the dress and high-heels, my camera and yes, I purchased waterproof mascara.

A child is a most precious gift. Thank you Emily for being my daughter. You taught me how to love.