Whose Story is it Anyway?

At the lunch table yesterday a discussion began… it actually continued from weeks ago. My friend Geshe Thupten Dorjee was describing teachings he is sharing with people to help them overcome challenges. He said that our suffering and pain comes from being unsatisfied and discontent. One reason is because we respond to things that happen in our lives with old behavior patterns.

An example he gave was of a hunter and a bear trap. If the hunter baits the trap the bear doesn’t have to step in it. The bear makes a choice to step into the trap or avoid it. Likewise, we make choices that either keep us trapped or give us freedom.

A few weeks ago our Voluntary Sustainability group was discussing the hook. I describe the hook as being dangled tauntingly by circumstances in our lives, especially in our relationships with other humans. We are so conditioned to respond in a certain way that we often bite the bait and the hook even when the consequences result in pain and suffering. And we know, even before biting the hook, that our behavior will create suffering in our lives….but we do it anyway.

Why?

Years ago a friend suggested I journal about my personal myth. I had no idea what she meant. My personal myth? But over the years I have come to understand that each of us has a story upon which we base our lives. Our story comes from society, family and teachers in our young lives but continues to grow as we become fixated on it and unable to break free from it. As a practicing psychotherapist, I witnessed some clients identify so strongly with labels and rigid personal stories that they found it almost impossible to find healing and wholeness. “I was an addict so …..” or “I was mistreated as a child so….” or “Nobody liked me in my family so…..”  All stories upon which their lives were tightly woven, too comfortable and familiar, even with suffering or agony, to rewrite.

Geshe-la gave the example of a medical doctor thinking that a fine car, huge home, country club membership and all the fluffy fixings were part of being a doctor, that those things defined what being a doctor means. Not that there is anything wrong with nice stuff, but creating a life story around a limiting societal belief gives a person little room to be fully able to bring their gifts and talents into this life, to experience freedom that comes from being authentic and real.

This lunchtime discussion created an opportunity for me to reflect upon our relationship with Earth. What stories do we buy into? What information do we take as valid without question? How have we failed to challenge mega corporations who continue to rape the planet?  They tell us we need what they are producing but do we? Whose story is that?

We have a most amazing opportunity to rewrite the story of our relationship with the planet. Each day we can add a new chapter. This is a living story, an unfolding love story….or a murder mystery. It is our choice.