Tag: GARDENING

To Be a Bromeliad Farmer….or Vulture Goddess?

To Be a Bromeliad Farmer….or Vulture Goddess?

This is NOT representative of this morning's behavior from my darlings.
This is NOT representative of this morning’s behavior from my darlings.

I awakened to soft thuds overhead. Cat play on carpet. I had been dreaming of a white vulture soaring overhead and waked in the middle of the dream. I lay there half awake wondering the meaning of such an unfamiliar symbol. Heady thoughts so early in the morning and soon interrupted by the thundering of cats down the stairway.

Gracie practiced her balance beam act on the footboard while Stanley practiced his gymnastic moves above me on the headboard. The hawk screeching outside my home and the combined acrobatics of my cat companions called me to get up and check the weather forecast.

Last night I read where high winds were predicted for today so when it was quiet outside I literally ran to put on my SUP boarding shorts and shirt and was out the door before coffee. I could smell the salt marsh far upriver so the wind announced itself with gentleness, prior to anything more than a whisper. By the time I reached the downriver side of Bemis Bay the ripples began. As I rounded the corner at Washer Woman’s Point, I saw and felt the beginnings of the ‘serious’ wind…but that wasn’t what really caught my attention.

Black vulture near Crystal River, FL
Black vulture near Crystal River, FL

Perched on a cypress tree was a beautiful vulture, wings spread, heart facing the morning sun. Her wing feathers were white and so I remembered the dream. But I had the rest of my four mile paddle to complete and lucky for me, had a downwinder on the way back up river.

My experimental wall garden..the 2 x 4 will be painted once it is dried
My experimental wall garden..the 2 x 4’s will be painted once they are dry

The rest of the day was spent putting together a project I’ve been dreaming of for weeks–designing and building a system to grow veggies and herbs on the east side of my home. Literally…on my home. It’s very sunny there, while the rest of my yard isn’t and the garage gets very hot in the summer so I wanted to install some sort of green wall to see if it would keep my garage from boiling during July and August.

My new bromeliad friends make the courtyard an even happier place
My new bromeliad friends make the courtyard an even happier place

I would rather grow flowers because I simply have a thing for them. But my farmer genes nudge me to try my hand once again at growing food. My dad and grandfather would probably laugh at my vertical garden. And honestly, I bought more flowers—some outrageous bromeliads. I can’t help it. Can’t I live off of beauty? Do I really have to eat?

All through the day of building, possibly cursing at trying to hold 8 foot 2 x 4’s up while screwing them into the wall, attaching the boxes, planting the plants into the boxes….I kept thinking about the white vulture. When I finished my farmer-girl activities I ran upstairs and looked up ‘white vulture’ on my trusty internet search engine.

It is a symbol of the feminine in Egyptian mythology. In Pueblo mythology it is a symbol of restored harmony that had been broken. It is a symbol of the return of the self. (Pause…..and repeat please).

Photo of me probably 17 years ago....
Photo of me probably 17 years ago….

How appropriate. How perfect. Since my father’s illness and death (when I was 21) I have been in a series of relationships with no gap between them. Recently I have done some deep healing as I find myself alone for the first time in 32 years. And I wanted to be alone as I found myself repeating the same old patterns. Sick of myself, I journeyed out on my own to heal. To grow. I couldn’t repeat the familiar behaviors anymore. It was deadening.

At this almost year mark of my time with only me and my baggage, I find myself dreaming of white vultures and realizing that I am discovering who I am…I had never given myself space or time to figure that out and in some ways had remained the wounded young woman throughout my relationships. How appropriate that in my time of conscious healing, the goddess of feminine energy pays me a dreamtime visit.

Self-portrait 2013
Self-portrait 2013

After all these years I am finally healing the old wounds. I have no idea where this new-found wholeness will take me but I’m guessing it has something to do with growing flowers or morphing into a vulture….once I figure it out I’ll let you know.

The Wisdom is Within

The Wisdom is Within

Lilly in her glory.
Lilly in her glory.




A dear friend of mine gifted me with an Amarilla kit for Christmas. When I opened the box to dig out the pieces…the container, growing medium and bulb….pale yellow shoots greeted me. It was ready to grow. Without roots planted, without water or sunlight…this bulb was ready. It knew exactly what to do.

I felt the excitement of the bulb as I surrounded its dry roots with moist soil. I packed it and placed it on my back porch to enjoy warm winter temps and filtered sunlight. And less than a month later, it has exploded with color and blossoms that appear to sing with joy.

During the past month I have sent snapshots created on my phone to Eydie to let her know how Lilly is progressing in her growth. But this morning, Lilly wanted to be photographed.

Isn't she lovely? Isn't she wonderful?
Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she wonderful?

So I pulled out my big Nikon and micro lens, set up the tripod and gave Lilly my undivided attention. Due to recent cold weather she bloomed inside, beside an antique plate of my grandmothers and a watercolor done by a former mountain neighbor. She sits atop an antique table my grandmother treasured.

This morning’s meditation brought a message from a native grandmother. She reminded me to contemplate the Triple Goddess archetype…Maiden–where I was wounded. Mother–where I lived out the wounds and worked hard to heal them. Wise Woman–where I live a more whole expression of all that I am and work  now to help the Earth and Her children heal.

With the grandmothers
With the grandmothers

Lilly has three blossoms that fully opened…just this morning. Coincidence? Perfect timing? I’m beginning to understand that everything somehow miraculously works in perfect timing and the wisdom we need to guide us in our life is within us all along. Life is a journey of discovering, uncovering that wisdom and daring to tread the path that unfolds before us.

On Being Mindful

On Being Mindful

As I walked down the driveway to begin my morning walk, I gazed into my garden seeing which friends had bloomed this morning. A rose, a delphinium, and the lavender is close to blooming. The day lilies…oh, wow! They are about to burst forth in their orange-yellow glory.

Once my feet made it to the main road, my heart sank. Someone had sprayed the bank in front of my home with herbicide. I looked across the street and up the street–no evidence of spray. It seems my neighbor’s gardener kept on going up the road when he sprayed their yard. At least it was isolated to one area on the roadway.

There is no grass in the rocks that line the roadway, just little plants that struggle to hold the soil. I felt sad because I value these important plants that anchor the soil in place. Frustration also arose because I do not broadcast spray poisons on my property.

So what’s the big deal? State highway departments spray millions of gallons of poison on roadways all across the country. Power companies also spray millions of gallons of toxic chemicals under power lines because it is cheaper than mowing or hand-clearing. But does that make it right?

My dislike for herbicides, pesticides, and insecticides goes beyond the obvious risk from using these chemicals (honey bees could teach us about the potential risks of chemical use). When my father was a farmer he was exposed to strong chemicals used on crops. He would come home and his clothes would be saturated with the toxins. Many years later he developed mysterious symptoms that worsened over the years. Doctors never figured out why he died in his early 40’s. By the time they did toxic-exposure blood work, all traces of the compounds had left his body. But the damage progressed.

I don’t know what my dad would say about the use of chemicals in our world. I believe he would caution us to read labels, spray sparingly and to refrain from using them if at all possible. My brother and I practice organic gardening because we saw what chemicals can do to a strong, healthy man’s body and life. Why do we think dumping millions of gallons of chemicals onto roadsides will not have consequences? Or the gallons we dump every year into our yards, our gardens? On to the food we eat.

I sent an email to my neighborhood asking people to be mindful of two things: 1) Chemical use has an inherent risk and we really do not know what continued use does to the environment and ultimately to us; 2) Everyone doesn’t use chemicals on their gardens. In fact, some of us want to work with the Earth and honor all plants and animals.

If the roadside in front of my home gets unruly, I trim it. If my garden has plants that I would rather not be there, I remove them by hand. I let insects have some of my rose blossoms to munch on. They always leave some for me to enjoy. Practicing organic gardening doesn’t make me better than people who use chemicals nor does it make me a better gardener. When I choose to work with plants and insects instead of just destroying them, I feel my relationship with the Earth grow stronger. Being aware of all life surrounding me helps me feel connected to nature, to the Earth. I grow in mindfulness as I take the time to understand how each and every plant, animal, insect and human has a place on the planet. There is value in every part of the living system we call Earth.