Stepping Through the Abyss

Recently I wrote about deconstructing my past and future related to the path I had envisioned years ago. It was time to let go of the vision I held so that I can move forward.

One night I couldn’t sleep so I laid in bed imagining myself moving all stepping stones that led back ‘there’ and creating works of beauty…fountains, benches in the forest, other creations of beauty that stood free. It was better than counting sheep.

The next day, I was in meditation and found myself at the stepping off point some of us call the Abyss. In Tree of Life studies it’s a path leading to a sphere of knowledge on the Tree. I’ve participated in deep discussions at workshops about this mystical ‘place.’ Always before in meditations I’ve felt heldĀ back from progressing forward.

But that day the only thing I ‘heard’ was if I step through, there’s no going back. Everything now goes forward with complete trust even though there is no visible path. I would no longer have the option of going back the way I had come.

It’s like that scene in Indiana Jones where he has to cross an abyss and have complete and total faith–when he steps out there will be a path even though he cannot see it. So my meditation was very close to that memorable scene.

Since then, when my mind wanders or gets into hyper-drive, I have been envisioning myself gently and with great love and compassion, moving all the stepping stones that created a path and creating bird baths, fountains, stone works of art…an inner urban renewal of sorts.

I realized, while cycling this morning, that the mental exercises I’ve been doing and the meditation are connected. I used to think a well-planned vision for life was necessary for successful completion of goals. What I failed to realize is a vision is an ever-evolving and living part of my life that requires complete and total surrender to stay present and not get stuck in the past or the future.

There are many surrenders that happen as we move through different phases of life’s journey yet so often we cling to the familiar even when it chooses to walk away from us. What if every morning we envision an abyss like Indiana Jones faced and see something we want to create across it. Then, with complete surrender and faith, step toward it. How might that change our lives?

What it’s done for me is bring me into the present moment, where life is actually happening. When I think of that person from my past, no longer in my life, I simply begin lovingly removing the stepping stones that lead back there and re-form them into something beautiful. Then I return from the mind-work and feel more free, more present with life now. When I worry about the future I imagine the path I made so many years ago is gently broken up with my hands and the soil is planted with seeds of grasses and wildflowers. Then I bring myself back to the present moment.

By building a beautiful present moment, it feels like I am creating a garden of my life with no worn or paved pathways. I trust Nature to be my working partner, to show me where I can assist, where I can lend my skills to help create a better world for all life.

May every day bring successful navigation of the unknown as we step out with courage and yield to our heart’s callings.

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